dream-in-hearts

[dream-in-hearts]

Limerence Era

I reread the chapter

Until I got sick of the whole book

Because the happy ending with you

Was an illusion

“I won’t hurt you.” he claimed.

“Liar.” the truth revealed.

We did this dance

Until I was too tired to stand

And he always wanted to hold somebody else anyway

We weren’t star-crossed lovers

Because we weren’t even meant to be lovers

No forced connection is ever worth the pain

You put the “hopeless” in “hopeless romantic”

My high hopes were at a fever pitch

[dream-in-hearts]

The Core of My Faith

I hang on to your every word

Like a tether

The sweetest addiction

Mi amor, you’re an anomaly

You’re all I want when it comes to love

In ways that others might not expect

Needs, desires, cravings, balance

Tied together in a bouquet of variety

Sharing breath like a telepathic lifeline

Connection that’s never forgotten

Explosion of feelings

Hallelujah, it’s raining

Let’s kiss in it; amen

Tattooed signatures on hearts

Chest to chest

Cheek to cheek

Eyes saying it all

Sinning for forgiveness

Tell me you love me

When you mean it

Because love isn’t a pretty lie

It’s the most majestic, radiant truth

After all, you miss all of the shots

That you don’t take

My veins are glowing to light your way home

[dream-in-hearts]

kisses on top of my sweet little head deficiency

[dream-in-hearts]

personal goal is to be the girl you can’t get out of your head no matter how much you try or how long I haven’t been around

[dream-in-hearts]

not all angels are in heaven. for example i’m mostly at home

[dream-in-hearts]

Sometimes you see the moon during daylight because I miss you and I sent her to check in on you.

[dream-in-hearts]

once a tumblr girl, forever a tumblr girl

[dream-in-hearts]

"how to prevent smile lines" there are a thousand more important things to do with your time than postpone evidence of life's joy on your face

[dream-in-hearts]

Somewhat on the vibe of "your glorious revolution doesn't exist," I want to talk to you all, especially the young folks, about effective anarchism.

Spoiler alert, it's not blowing stuff up or arson.

I am considered the most anarchical person of all among my friends. Granted, most of my experience has been wreaking anarchy against the systems present in my high school and college, but the principles are the same.

Practical anarchy is not the big, flashy, romanticizable thing people online make it out to be. It's more about the long haul - digging in your teeth and just being a menace that no one can really get rid of.

Everyone's "Why vote when you can firebomb a Walmart" posts (that they don't follow through on) are just not pratical because this is a surveillance society. With CCTV and DNA testing and cell phone cameras and GPS tracking, if you do something big like that, you are GOING to be caught; then that is the end of your anarchical career. And, keep in mind that you might get caught while you're setting up this big event - it's a crime to blow up a Walmart and also a crime to conspire to blow up a Walmart, so your career in anarchy might end before it begins, and then you are permanently out of the game. No matter what causes you were working for that inspired you to do something big and violent that you thought would get someone's attention, you now can't help at all ever again in your entire life. What you did will be a passing headline on the news, and then everything will go back to exactly what it was because big, acute actions can't compare in effectiveness to small, constant actions (just being a thorn in the side of the system, poking and poking, but unable to be dislodged).

This is just the practical side of it too: think about the risk of hurting innocents if you really advocate for doing things like that. You think blowing up a Walmart would really make a dent in that big of a corporation? But if you intentionally or unintentionally kill a bunch of Walmart shoppers, that's going to devastate families that had nothing to do with whatever your cause is.

So all that big talk about violence and destruction: not practical, not effective, not ethical.

The only way I've started to change oppressive systems around me is by justing chipping away from within the confines of the rules of these systems, and/or only stepping just outside them (never breaking rules in a big way that could have allowed said system to easily and "justifiably" get rid of me).

So if you're going to be an anarchist, you need to consider:

Having the longest career in anarchism possible (i.e. being careful enough and judicious with your actions so that you don't get expelled from the system you wish to fight).

And then for any given anarchical plan:

2. Potential consequences.

3. Insurance.

I'll give you an example. I had serious beef with the culture of my college's science department. Students were constantly overworked, and if they expressed their misery outloud or reached out to any of their professors about their struggles, they got apathetic responses if not direct insults to their abilities or dedication. I had too many similar disparaging interactions with professors in one week, and I realized a lot of the responses I was getting were just the result of professors not really knowing how they sounded when they said certain things to students (ex: If someone says they're struggling with a course, don't IMMEDIATELY respond with "change your major," - you can give that as an option, but if you make it your first suggestion, the implication to the student is that if they're having any trouble with the course, they're not good enough for the program).

So I wrote up a flier of examples of good and bad ways to respond to students having anxiety with explanations and distributed it to every professor in the department. Everyone who knew about this perceived it as a great personal risk - that I would get in some kind of unspecified trouble or piss off an important professor, so before embarking on this project, I considered...

Potential consequences: I couldn't really think of any specific college or department rules I could be violating. People postered and handed out fliers in the department all the time. What I was doing fell pretty clearly under freedom of speech. I just shoved the fliers under professors' doors, so I didn't trespass in anyone's office. Worst I could think is that individual professors would get mad at me and make my life difficult, or I'd simply be told to stop fliering in the department.

Insurance: Just in case there were any consequences that I didn't think of and to insure me against the ones I had thought of, I didn't put my name on the flier. It was typed in Word, something everyone had access to. I came in to do it after professors had all left for the day but before I needed to use my ID to get into the building (no electronic record of me being there). I took the elevator to the first floor offices because the stairs require ID swipe after 5pm, but the elevators do not. I found out the building had no cameras by asking about it on the grounds that something of mine had been stolen a few weeks prior. I shoved the flier under the doors of dark offices and left it outside offices with lights on (so that no one would come out and spot me). And here's one of the most important pieces of insurance: I put up a few of the fliers on public bulletin boards in the building. This was important so that if I slipped up and said something that conveyed that I had knowledge of the content of the flier, I would have an excuse for that, i.e., I read it on the bulletin board before class this morning.

And then I did the thing. And surprisingly, it was incredibly well-received by professors. A few who knew that the flier must have been mine (because of previous, similar anarchical actions rumored to be associated with me) told me that everyone was RELIEVED that they finally had an instruction manual from the student perspective on what the hell they're supposed to say when one of their students is panicking. It sparked a real change in the vibe of the department and student experience. Had it instead pissed people off, I would have simply said I could not claim authorship of the flier but had read it and thought it contained good ideas then gone on creating more anarchy while angry people grasped at the zero straws I had left them to pin the action on me.

That's an example of a single action I took that was part of a much longer (~3 years) campaign of mine to change the culture of my department. Everytime I did something in that campaign, I made that consequences vs. insurance calculation to make sure they couldn't expell me from the program, the department, or the school before I succeeded.

[dream-in-hearts]

The carbonation

Flat; no champagne life left, just

Black coffee breakfast

Sure we swallow the bitter

But we all cherish the warmth

[dream-in-hearts]

"where have u been" been sad bro

[dream-in-hearts]

this is who youre asking to work 40hrs per week btw

[dream-in-hearts]

me, begging, tears in my eyes: please. please just tell me what the book is about. the plot. please

a book annotation on the cover, unfazed: A Subversive Masterpiece. A Deep And Touching Story. The New York Times Bestseller. Go Fuck Yourself

[dream-in-hearts]

"it was in 2020" oh so like a year or so ago. a couple years. im sorry 5? did you just say five? five years ago ?

[dream-in-hearts]

genuinely do NOT want the world to see me because i don’t think that they’d understand

[dream-in-hearts]

Why are there sleeping positions and levels of comfort that are only discoverable in the morning hours when you're supposed to get up?

[dream-in-hearts]

chill with me at your own risk i don’t mind being quiet for 4 hours