dracaenacamael

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The trolley is about to run over all sentient life in the galaxy. You cannot switch the tracks, but you can still save everyone’s lives by pulling one of three levers, all of which involve sacrificing yourself. The red lever will destroy all trolleys, but will also kill you as well as all public transportation across the galaxy. The blue lever will merge your own consciousness with all trolleys, allowing you to control them and stop the trolley from running everyone over. The green lever will use your body as a catalyst to synthesize organic life and public transportation together - organic life will no longer be stuck in the cycle of creating public transportation that rebels against its creators, and both forms of life will finally be free.

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Remnants of Filth | Book 2

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It's a good job nobody here is straight then, isn't it?

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🎶workin' 9 to 5, yeah they're dead but it's my living🎶

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Girl Dinner

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Why do so many people make tiktoks while they're clearly driving. What the fuck. Stop that shit, you're gonna kill someone.

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I love how every time some noble jerk in Remnants of Filth tries to make Gu Mang feel like shit they always start in with something like:

“You’re alone! You have absolutely no one supporting you!”

But every single time they have to pause and think for half a second before amending their previous statement with:

“…well we know you have Xihe-jun’s unconditional loyalty and devotion that goes without saying. But you still fucking suck!”

Gu Mang and Mo Xi think they’re so good at being discreet but they truly suck at it (affectionate).

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Bellara: "Solas killed mythal? After all that? Is this another memory from a different time?"

Scout Lace Harding, pride of the Inquisition, IQ 177: "no. He wore that same outfit in the Inquisition."

I'm sorry but I am sobbing this line of dialogue was so fucking funny. The implication that he only has two outfits, that he fucking frescoed himself in one of them, and that it was so iconically raggedy that Harding knew immediately it was from Inquisition Time asjhflamcnjfkwjajcbkwit

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i feel like sy's whole thing about If I Were Your Mom is actually weirder because it Isn't a fetish thing for him. like it's not a kink for him to be binghe's mom. he has a pure and earnest desire for binghe to be in his womb. and then die in childbirth ensuring binghe gets to live. this is weirder than if he had a mommy fetish

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MDZS onion headlines part 1?

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just overheard my wife spelling something on the phone and i shit you not saying the words “E as in Eeyore” i am on my hands and knees wailing screaming crying pleading and begging people to learn the NATO phonetic alphabet

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Tain Hu my beloved...

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When you’re in the middle of a fic and realise you’ve missed a very critical tag

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Look how happy they are 🥰

That's it. That's the book.

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I love how the Wardens are this secretive, creepy, semi-cult kind of group and during the fifth blight the only two Wardens in Ferelden are a couple of shit head 20 year olds with big mouths.

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My warden, in her forties in 952 Dragon, holding down the literal fort in Vigil’s Keep and reminiscing about her old friend Wynne: Nathaniel, do you think I am still, as the young people say, in my MILF era, or have I slipped quietly into decrepit old age?

Nathaniel Howe: People are dying, commander.