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curious to hear y'all's suggestions for the worst possible pasta shape

(Assume that "pasta" needs to be made of sheets or strands of dough with enough surface area relative to thickness so that they can be cooked.)

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stupid thing about me is I don’t cut corners but I also have no work ethic. if I do something it WILL be done right. no telling whether I’ll actually fucking do it tho

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There's a cool idea for some OCs in here somewhere...

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English added by me :)

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joe biden, you stupid fuck. listen to me. Crimes are legal for sitting presidents as long as they’re official actions. Listen: Joe. You have one chance

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Trick or treat :3

Oh hey there! Love ur costume :] I have a choice for you! You can either take a small piece of candy and be on your way, or sing me a fun song of your choice and I’ll give you a king size candy bar.

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Oh okay!! You danced too, that’s awesome!!! Here, take whatever one you want :] Happy Halloween!

Trick or treat :3

Oh hey there! Love ur costume :] I have a choice for you! You can either take a small piece of candy and be on your way, or sing me a fun song of your choice and I’ll give you a king size candy bar.

[dozing-hellfire]

Trick or treat :3

Oh hey there! Love ur costume :] I have a choice for you! You can either take a small piece of candy and be on your way, or sing me a fun song of your choice and I’ll give you a king size candy bar.

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I know I sound like your mom but you kids need to stop fucking vaping

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i didn't have "i'm broken" teenage asexual angst i had "i'm literally being the only reasonable one about this concept and the rest of you are behaving like fucking freaks" perception issues

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Do you ever think about how actually insane roadside billboards are? Like driving a car is incredibly dangerous and there are a ton of laws meant to keep people focused on driving and not other distractions. But billboards are fine. It’s okay to look away from the road if you’re looking at an ad. That’s fucked

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first class news paleontologists never disappoint

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*in a rap battle* i wonder who your mother could have been if she never had you

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4000cc breast implants :)

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I turn 30 next month so here’s what I learned in my 20s:

—don’t work for startups, they’re always one ‘innovative idea’ away adding ‘sell your kidneys on the black market’ to your job description.

—keeping a collection of basic OTC medicine on you will save your life one day. I recommend Advil, Imodium, and TUMS.

—those little single-use glasses cleaning wipes are 1000% worth the money

—overly self-depreciating jokes just make people uncomfortable, wean yourself off of them

—you can buy dehydrated mini marshmallows in bulk online and they’re a godsend for hot cocoa

—people don’t care if you have fidget toys on your desk they just want to play with them

—try to go to bed BEFORE the existential ennui kicks in