dontmakedaddyangry

[dontmakedaddyangry]

ouuughhhh…. My boaner….

[dontmakedaddyangry]

/serious post for a sec: thank you Ivy for such fun. I hoped to interact with your blog more as my character Braxton. I loved your blog and it inspired me to make this current gimmick blog. Braxton is my terrible child with a lot of issues and a love for the band Tool.

Farewell, Bethany :’) the feminarchy lives on

Hey Bethany! Where have you been?

Well...

I put the blog on password protection for a few days while I took a break to evaluate what I wanted. Running this blog and interacting with my followers has been a lot of fun, but it's also been negatively affecting my mental health and making me more online than I'd like. Playing the character of "insane teenager who argues" means I have to argue with people all the time, and I don't really like doing that for long periods of time because it makes me insane.

So what did you find then?

I found that not posting is better for me than trying to run this blog further. I feel like I've extracted all the funny content out of this and any further posting is just running the joke further into the ground. There's only so much rehashing of the same bit I can do before I get bored, and Bethany's anger at receiving the same stupid questions became genuine after a while. I don't want to be enslaved to my phone all day calling everyone "fuckstick" anymore. I'm just not having any fun with it.

But Ivy! Bethany brings me SO much comfort and it's problematic to get rid of her!

Yeah, that's why I'm not deleting the blog, but if you feel this way I recommend logging off. My insane, written-to-be-irredeemable Argument Character being critical to your daily routine may be a sign you need help.

What are you doing now?

I'm retiring this blog. I'm leaving it up but I'm not gonna post on it anymore. If by some miracle I get to a place where running this won't kill me inside, I might come back, but for now I'm done with it. If you have a problem with this, fuck off into the sun, you and your spawn will be cursed hitherto until the end of time. Thanks to everyone who sent asks that were actually funny, and to the extended croakerverse for supporting me in this, I have not been doing well and yall being there and understanding helps a lot. Thanks to Strange for the video, I'm looking forward to hanging out in Toronto in July.

But for now, this is my Fecal Farewell

-Ivy

[dontmakedaddyangry]

The thing they don't tell you about fried egg runny yolk is that if you put it in a sandwich it will be the best most delicious thing and you can mop up the egg with the bread, but in exchange you Will get so so messy and covered in egg yolk

[dontmakedaddyangry]

Now THIS is epic…

[dontmakedaddyangry]

In the gulag we will have the international annual phalloplasticity contest, how many balloon animals can you make out of your dick? It's like gurning but with your penis

[dontmakedaddyangry]

i don't care if mondays fucked, tuesday wednesday kiss my nuts, thursday this shit fucking sucks, it's friday im in love

[dontmakedaddyangry]

if you got to antarctica and you went outside you firstyour eyes freeze out and then your balls freeze off and you fall to your knees they shatter and you lay there and you get a boner and it freezes off. polar bear crushes yyou

[dontmakedaddyangry]

I wish I could vore prettyy ladies and have them be digested in daddy’s tummy.

Kitten baby, I know you want to splash around in my stomach acid as you slowly get digested.

I would make sure to listen to Sober by Tool so loud that you can hear it from inside of my stomach while you become goo inside of me.

Nothing but the best for my kitten baby ;)

OOC: I just had to drive back to work to retrieve my phone (the place I work is open 24/7 bc it is Healthcare) and the sweet old lady on night shift went through my phone to helpfully try to figure out whose it was. I DO NOT HAVE A PASSWORD. IT WAS OPEN TO TUMBLR. TO THE LAST POST I'D MADE. She asked me who Vriska is and what Vore is. I really wish I was fucking joking. Sorry for breaking character but I just had to gaslight an old woman about Vore at midnight and I needed to tell a trusted adult (Tumblr Followers)

[dontmakedaddyangry]

Bad news for drywall: I woke up

[dontmakedaddyangry]

I hate being sick

[dontmakedaddyangry]

Daddy is looking for his new kitten baby ;)

She must be a sharter or okay with sharting (THIS IS NON NEGOTIABLE).

Must be okay with cleaning SHARTS and making Mac n cheese. That’s right I said it. I’m not afraid to let a woman know how she can satiate daddy’s hunger.

Must be into cock nursing and have lots of piercings.

I like goth girls.

Down for any RP ESPECIALLY DDLG/KITTEN PLAY.

I like sharing… as long as I get to enjoy the view ;)

My bros MUST approve of you and you must get to know them.

I’m looking for the mother of my future children.

Have to be alright with holding the fort down while I do important networking with other alphas.

[dontmakedaddyangry]

What’s up kitten baby?? Daddy needs you to be a good girl and clean his skidmarks. Please, kitten baby I need you to do for me then give me a beej. You clean them better than I can and honestly my tummy hurts. anyway… so, what do you say, doll face? ;)

[dontmakedaddyangry]

THIS GUY GETS IT

CAN NEVEF BE UNDERPREPARED AT A TOOL EXPERIENCE

[dontmakedaddyangry]

MDNI.

A little about me:

Daddy/Braxton/sometimes “Sir” haha jk

8 inches x 3 inches around.

SHARTING IS NORMAL. A SKID MARK WONT KILL YOU DUMBASS. SPREAD YOUR ASSCHEEKS IN THE SHOWER AND LET THE SHOWER WATER DO ITS JOB AND YOURE FUCKING FINE. IM SICK OF PEOPLE SHAMING ME FOR A LITTLE SKID MARK IN MY UNDERWEAR. SOMETIMES YOJ JUST CANT TRUST A FART. I WILL KILL ANYONE WHO TRIES TO SHAME SHARTING. #SHARTLIFE

Once I sharted myself during sex with a woman and she SHAMED me. SHAMED ME??? ITS PERFECTLY NATURAL AND NORMAL. stop judging me or else you’ll see why I have my father’s last name. Don’t piss me off.

6 ft 7 inches tall haha that means I’m tall ig.

23.

Alpha.

My favorite song by Tool is “Sober”.

Milfs are my preference of women that I enojy.

Stepmoms?.

Stoner since the womb.

Drywall hates to see me coming.

Tool is my favorite band.

Born in Ft. Lauderdale, FL and will die in Ft. Lauderdale, FL .

Can I touch you, kitten? Always down for any situation

Open RP

I love ALL my bros. Trans boy bros. trans girl bros. Gay bros. Lesbian bros. Non binary bros. Disabled bros. POC bros. Every bro is my borther, sister, or sibling. You are ALL my bros unless you are a shart shamer. If you dont think my bros reserve rights, YOU FUCKING SUCK AND NEED TO GET CURB STOMPED. If you are a shart shamer, I’LL GET SO FUCKING PISSED , THAT YOU’LL WISH YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN BORN. . .