dogsmywifedescribestome

[dogsmywifedescribestome]

April 6th, 2020

My wife, shushing me while rushing over to the window where she sees a dog passing by: I’ve never seen this one before! Aw, super cute, very happy, youngish doberman labrador mix. All black with little white tippy toe socks. He was walking quickly but I wouldn’t say trotting. 

Me: Tippy toe socks?

Wife: You know, they weren’t like crew socks or ankle socks. More like those little socks that come up just above the heel.

[dogsmywifedescribestome]

April 5th, 2020

My wife, opening the bedroom door after knocking twice and waiting exactly zero seconds for me to say ‘come in’, launching into her daily dogspotting: Jaunty, long haired chihuahua who was really feeling himself. So happy and trotting along and had his little nose up in the air. White with orangey-brown patches. Similar to the dog I was telling you about earlier.

Me: Which dog from earlier?

Wife: The terrier spaniel mix! Similar markings, similar size, but beefier than the chihuahua. But this little guy just now seemed so happy. He was going like *tilts her nose up in the air and points her hands into little paws trotting*. The other one had more of a chubby paw, wiggly butt walk.

[dogsmywifedescribestome]

April 1st, 2020

My wife, running over to the bedroom window with pure excitement: Ooooo, a new dog! Oh, nevermind, it’s just a bike.

[dogsmywifedescribestome]

March 31st, 2020

My wife, abruptly changing the topic to give me a blow-by-blow of the dog walking across the street outside our bedroom window: It’s Gussy! Oh, cute little Gus, I hope he’s feeling ok. He’s just kind of standing there, and his human was petting him, but now he’s... Gus? He’s just laying down in the street! He’s like, “I just wanna lay down here”. 

Me: What??

Wife: You know Gus, the Frenchie with the dark brindle patterned coat? Queer parent? They were walking back to the house and they were right in front of the door and Gus just went, “ugh”, and laid down on his belly. Maybe now that everyone is home all the time he’s getting too much attention. Maybe he’s like that dog on that instagram post I sent you that’s like “leave me the fuck alone”. Poor Gussy.

[dogsmywifedescribestome]

March 29th, 2020

My wife, staring out our bedroom window and giving me updates about everything going on outside: Fluffy! A dog I’ve never seen before! Is this a sheep dog? It’s a sheep dog! Maybe a mix, with a little bit of terrier around the edges. The dad is a white guy in his twenties in a blue shirt. The dog has a white head and a gray sheep-dog-fur body.

Me: Aw, what are they doing?

My wife: Well they were were just happily trotting along but then they passed by that annoying neighbor’s house where the dogs aren’t walked enough so they bark at everything and the sheep dog just stopped mid-trot and looked over at them like, “What the heck?”

[dogsmywifedescribestome]

March 28th, 2020

My wife, describing the dogs she saw earlier in the day but couldn’t tell me about at the time because I was busy talking on the phone: Ok, so the first one was a golden retriever. It was happy and smiling, and it was elderly because it had a white muzzle, but it looked very healthy and spry with a white little tippy tail. It was trotting along in between its mom and dad. They were like nondescript 30-something white people, one was wearing a baseball cap and the other had a jean jacket on. I’ve never seen any of them before!

Me: Wow, so many new dogs in our neighborhood!

Wife: Oh! I also saw - remember the guy in the parking lot with the little pekingese? He’s a Henry Rollins type (which, like many of her celebrity references, I had to look up), so it’s funny that he has such a tiny dog. The pekingese is the one that’s white with brown-y and orange-y spots. It walks around like *scrunches her hands into little paws tip-toe-ing in the air and squeaks out a high-pitched “dee-tee-dee-tee-dee-tee-dee” *

[dogsmywifedescribestome]

March 27th, 2020

My wife, interrupting me mid-sentence to run to the window and tell me about the dogs she sees in the distance: Look a dog, no two of them! One looks like a spaniel mix, very cute, no actually a terrier mix, and one of them is smaller than the other. By smaller, I mean one’s small and one’s toy-sized. Ok actually they’re both terriers.

Me: Aw, what color are they?

Wife: They’re gold-y white, and I think they’re a mom and a pup. The human is like a youngish stylish hipster with dark brown hair. They look so happy!

Me: What are they doing?

Wife: They’re running! You know how some dogs run on all four legs and some of them do the front two and then the back two like a hobby horse? (She lifts her hands up like paws and tilts back and forth.) The bigger one’s doing that and the smaller one is doing a trotty trot. I’ve never seen them before and it was from a distance so the smaller one might have been a baby or a really old dog that's just really small.

[dogsmywifedescribestome]

March 26th, 2020

My wife, after knocking on the bedroom door and immediately entering without waiting for an answer in order to launch into her daily neighborhood dog watch update: Ok, two dogs. One’s a terrier mix, a little on the chunky side, mid size, no actually small-mid, with short hair. The other one’s a black-ish poodle mix, definitely on the smaller side. 

Me: Did they look happy?

Wife: Yep, they were just like *shimmies her shoulders and balls up her hands into front paws to show me how the dogs pranced down the street*

Me: Just like that? Wait, are these new dogs?

Wife: I don’t recognize the woman walking them, 20-something with brown hair. People must be taking their dogs on really long walks now to get out of the house, because I’ve never seen any of them before.