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Easiest way to explain healthy BDSM to a vanilla person who thinks it's wrong?

Imagine that you have a goal of getting in shape. After trying different diets and exercise programs, you find that you keep straying from them and inevitably you find yourself back at square 1.

You want it to be different this time, so you finally take the plunge: you hire a personal trainer.

You tell your trainer “ok, I have a goal to be able to run the Boston marathon by next year.”

“Ok”, says your trainer, “how much time do you have every week to devote to this, and are there any types of exercise you are unwilling or unable to do?”

“Well, I have an hour a day on weekdays and can make 3 hours on Saturdays and Sundays, and I have some shoulder problems so I can’t do too much upper body work and I’m unwilling to do stairs because I want to keep my knees healthy”.

So your trainer, working within those limits, draws you up a diet and exercise program, says “this is what I need you to do at minimum, and we’re going to start here work our way up”.

You start your program, and your trainer keeps you accountable. When you slip, your trainer reminds you of your goals and tells you how to make up for the missed exercise or the extra calories.

Now, the most important part of all of this is that even though the personal trainer may be the one giving the orders, ultimately that trainer works for you, not the other way around. And if that trainer steps out of line, you take your business elsewhere. You hold ultimate power, even if it doesn’t look like it in the moment.

Congrats, anon. You just described a power exchange relationship in completely vanilla terms!

Hope this helps!

-LMS

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at Saint Thomas, US Virgin Islands https://www.instagram.com/p/BmcdhPggH9J/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1beqguv2x8n9j

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#StThomasInternationalRegatta https://www.instagram.com/p/BhJYqYkA5E4/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=wkat9hfmm49u

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at Saint Thomas, US Virgin Islands https://www.instagram.com/p/BhMsZ-Jg9ot/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1p1ra1y9eoz3v

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250 limited run signed # prints available soon. https://www.instagram.com/p/Bmj-3paAhaC/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=93q3b6c1lpfz

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" He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion" -unknown Thanks Carmen Garcia for the great pic of Daniel Stylus Parchoffi #danielthebordercollie (at The Virgin Islands of the United States) https://www.instagram.com/p/BqX7R7Dg0WE/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=k8o0u6hn6m9a

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Happy Saturday. Today Mark's my one-year anniversary of moving to the islands. #stt #saintthomas #islandlife #caribbean #liveyourdream #virginislands #usvi #happy #rainbow #beauty (at Saint Thomas, US Virgin Islands) https://www.instagram.com/p/BrIVe2BA2IJ/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1c8mhnjmgkzjp

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#home

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I dont know what living a balanced life feels like.

When I am sad,

I dont cry, I pour.

When I am happy,

I dont smile, I glow.

When I am angry,

I dont yell, I burn.

The good thing about feeling in extremes is

when I love, I give them wings,

but perhaps that isn’t

such a good thing, because

they always tend to leave,

and you should see me

when my heart is broken.

I don’t grieve,

I shatter.

— Rupi Kaur, Milk and Honey

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I love my home. #StThomas #USVI

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This has been a super challenging year, and life. I am looking forward to a new chapter abroad.