divsaster
we live in the dreams you had.
68 posts
& i said, let's talk about the ones like us; the ones who are never coming home. i'm divya & i'm a rainstorm/rebellion girl~ also @ antigoneblue (w.i.p.)
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
divsaster · 7 years ago
Photo
Tumblr media
for my saturday // a poem for @lourvely / @sapphicle
happy birthday. i love you so much.
x
5 notes · View notes
divsaster · 8 years ago
Text
the cobalt rain café special
cherry there’s probably a tub of old lip gloss lying around somewhere ( what’s the point of that? nobody will kiss me anyway) and i’m red in a kitchen sink with blender veins and haemoglobin thoughts; dead things swelling up in the sun- i bite into it and get juice down my chin. put everything in a glass jar and hold your breath like you’re practicing for a funeral. mango juice like summers. like being six again, like learning how to swim in a village pond and trying not to let your head go under. what’ll they do when your hands won’t stop shaking? when the golden stains on the white table cloths are all that remain, when your last cough sounds like an echo of a heartbeat; a distant kingdom once lost. shredded coconut tear me up and throw me in, it seems to say. we crack the shells and these ones are hard; no eggshell deaths to be had here. we’re scraping whites like ceiling plaster and when we add it to the red and yellow sunset mix it’s like watching the stars flake. you can’t hear yourself think over the noise of the blender. that’s what you like about it. yoghurt right out of the can, or the tin. remove the aluminium foil and turn it inside out. it’s in now, in chunks. you’re thinking of road trips and twin brothers and how your best friend was named jeff; how you haven’t spoken to him since three summers ago. your stomach sinks. it’s like losing your wisdom teeth all over again. milk you never owned your pain but you did know what to do with a milk carton. drown your sorrows. pour out the calcium. let it douse everything. like gasoline, except it isn’t. you could save a life with this. you could. pineapple now you’re thinking self-destruct. now there’s an itch in your throat and blisters down your arms but you wanted these scars. you told them to call you cyanide and you choked down your smoothie and you laughed. warm hands, one jar. there’s no refill but you’re not that thirsty. and if it burns while you’re going down that’s because you’re lucky. to be alive. to feel this way; to crave the ache enough to slip some benadryl right into the stuff. or not. or vodka. see, there are things kids like us shouldn’t do. we’ve already done all of them. 
for @godpoem <3
24 notes · View notes
divsaster · 8 years ago
Photo
make yourself smaller, love
huddle up, bundle up, make yourself a lump of melted sugar
                remember the vast nothingness. exhale empty.
                                    that’s all it takes. 
( you don’t exist anymore ) 
Tumblr media
3K notes · View notes
divsaster · 8 years ago
Text
undefined, undefined, undefined.
1. you were probably       seventeen that night                       and there we were; our eyes and      bodies subdued,              we’d been spun out of white light. there was only a duffel bag                        a cartography map and a voice telling you to    come home as you threw yourself down         on the old summer yacht – 2.  he’s           sitting      by the gravestones again  hospital eyes and                          failed attempts and poetry books lying                read more times than you could even  think                                         of a thing being read. there’s a line           somewhere and it goes ‘expectation of ancestors’ and  it’s about             all the things you know and all the things you don’t know.   they say he talks to the dead ; necromantic but i know he just needs a friend – 3. your eyes are not galaxies and this milk powder is not calcium                           she painted the universe on the basement walls                     while i slept concrete and listened to the hum of distant constellations                                    and days long past. 4. i watched you       watching me from your bedroom window                     your eyes drilled holes into my back why were there       roses in your mouth                         why were your eyes                                   so sleepless, so black                     so tired and worn out? 5. yes, i’m stabbing like a sunflower                 but everything grows here, darling- 6. we’re still on the yacht and we’re talking about the cities, about their                       dull lights, their burning lives the way they illuminate and blind, sometimes.    once we tire of this you read carl sagan to the ocean, for the dolphins and i can hear astrophysics and poetry          echo and reverberate in your voice        reflecting the very cause of creation- 7. the graveyard boy                says home isn’t a place and it isn’t a person and                            i think of the oceans in your voice and i agree with him                      he says, home is nothing at all and i think of how the universe                            is composed  of                           e m p t y  s p a c e s how we are all various forms and subgenres of one big nothing and i am inclined to agree with him. there’s never  been a place like home   for kids like us, woven from disillusioned daydreams                                     and fallen stars.
Sailing Beyond
Prompts
• The yacht and the duffel bags • Expectation of ancestors • Prince of the Milky Way • “I watched you watching me from your bedroom window” • Bizarre growth in nutrient-rich soil • That cosmic ocean reflected in your voice • Home isn’t a place and it isn’t a person
203 notes · View notes
divsaster · 8 years ago
Photo
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Logogram for the lovely @divsaster I hope you like it!!!
5 notes · View notes
divsaster · 8 years ago
Quote
rough untitled
a song by mars argo that i can’t stop listening to and it honestly calms me down in some surreal way like a sedative from outerspace like bubblegum basements like cottoncandy  boys like immortal kids in bathtubs thinking about ophelia like falling asleep in the backseat of your car or having a loudly purring cat on your lap or sneaking outside at 3AM to taste the stars on your tongue by staring at the sky like you owned the universe like breathing in sunsets like aphrodite was your girlfriend like car radios at 1AM like that boy’s jacket and the smell of blueberries and peppermint and citronella and the taste of her lipgloss and the serene peace and calm of being at the bottom of a swimming pool and never needing to come back up like cigarettes with pastel pink clouds of smoke and girls with loud minds and soft voices, gentle hands becoming weapons, neglect becoming a lullaby, grey is my favourite colour and the way his voice broke on the phone last night when he said “you know i love you”- (via guppygrrrl)
44 notes · View notes
divsaster · 8 years ago
Text
MAYBE BRINE HALLWAYS  MAYBE NOVEMBER BATHTUBS AND LIGHT SPILLING IN  MAYBE YOUR LUNGS DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO
WE GIVE UNTIL WE COLLAPSE, DAYDREAM IN RUINS  NO MONUMENTS FOR THE MAYBES NO AFTERLIFE FOR AN AFTERTHOUGHT
MAYBE SALT WHITE HIGHWAYS MAYBE COLD BEGINNINGS MAYBE GOD OF PANICKED DEER WASHED IN XENON BLUE
13 notes · View notes
divsaster · 8 years ago
Photo
Tumblr media
x
37 notes · View notes
divsaster · 8 years ago
Text
i'd do it all over again, lover every sunrise has a sunset and   i knew what was (o)urs;;;;
     never a head for height, i         k n e w    i would  
                      f                         a                            l                              l
here lies the boy here lies the boy here lies the boy who kissed the sun             and melted into candlewax                 and honey;
       ( l i q u i d   g o l d )
 drawn in my lifelines to    c o n d e m n  &         c r u c i f y
(( never a god of the sky ))
here lies the boy here lies the boy here lies the boy          the boy who died, the boy who died;;;
 b u r n i n g                in a flash of
                      l i g h t  
{ i was always yours }     //  like a dying star, i've tasted eternity //
here i am with my voice too soft & my eyes too loud
22 notes · View notes
divsaster · 8 years ago
Note
white noise for darker minds/ crucify for a crossbite/ and yes i'm deadbeat/ broken magnetic machine// here's one for the needles/one for the noise/one for us hollow girls and boys////tell me you counted beyond the last star, at the edge of the galaxy- tell me you counted beyond 206, once- tell me-
pallor mortis girls & putrefying boys ; the trauma filtered through the filmstrip ; never made spine from notochord ; did you think that your grey matter was more than static electricity?
24 notes · View notes
divsaster · 8 years ago
Photo
Tumblr media
24K notes · View notes
divsaster · 8 years ago
Photo
Tumblr media Tumblr media
art history boys// 22.11.2016 // x
@heyackleykid & @gh0stboyy  i hope you like this! <3
5 notes · View notes
divsaster · 8 years ago
Photo
@heyackleykid here you go!! 
Tumblr media
ethanol //  27.10.16 
4 notes · View notes
divsaster · 8 years ago
Photo
AND THERE COME THOSE DAYS WHERE YOU WANNA CLAW YOURSELF APART/ I’M SICK OF THIS WORLD// TIRED OF TRYING TO MAKE ART// THIS ISN’T BEAUTIFUL/ I’M NOT LOVELY// AND EVERYONE IS DYING WE JUST PRETEND WE’RE IMMORTAL 
Tumblr media
7 notes · View notes
divsaster · 8 years ago
Text
subject is known by what she sees.
& someone left you there with a frayed leather jacket and a guarantee that promised nothing {son, it’s alright if you mess up, it’s okay-{{ like you didn’t know okay was a lie{{{{ you’re a card they’re going to play and burn and you’ve always known this— stand up against governments, against god. stay irresponsible.   things she said before she left you. messages on your phone. that look in his eyes every time he sees you, like he wants to apologize for running away halfway through the rebellion- the universe is subjective. you stare with wide eyes at the graffiti on your bedroom window, the notes under the door. everyone loves you but no-one believes in you. you’re a faded and jaded magazine cut out, you’ll never be more than a pretty girl with an empty face- i used to write poetry once, now i try found poetry ((but i’m lost)) and i try spoken word ((but i’m mute)) Don’t drink yourself to death. Don’t drink yourself to death. Don’t drink yourself to death. where do poets go when their poetry dies? Inside skull is vast as outside skull. yes, but boy, i’m drowning in it, my thoughts are too terrible, where is the relief? to numb the pain we’ve got to number the memories & i wanna sell my feelings on the black market, i hurt- & yes i’m trying to make something beautiful out of it! but i can’t! and it hurts. of course it hurts. Maximum information, minimum number of syllables. All pain & no gain. it’s just you now, you and the jacket, you and my pain, my pain blooming in the sides of your mouth and you trying to forget my eyes all red and runny like sunsets gone wrong, i cry myself to sleep most nights— What’s in between thoughts? my alarm clock, your voice, i am the spider under your shoes- dead again, huh babe? Consonants around vowels make sense. i am consonants with no vowels. i am vowels disemboweled. i think (morbid thoughts) therefore i am (dying). Syntax condensed, i am an emergency- flashing lights and headaches and ‘dammit i think i love her’ at 4 AM, no wonder all my friends want to kill me sometimes- ‘you cut a poem and stick your words in the spaces,’ someone says. throws me an anthology (ginsberg, what else?) and tells me to find the season’s greetings.Others can measure their vision by what we see. i’m not a poet, love, i’m nothing but halfway existence. i’m so tired & i just wanna sleep. i wanna sleep, i wanna sleep, i wanna mean something someday- measure your worth against what i see but my eyes are closed again, where does the sun go when the sunset fades? what a stupid question. the sun goes home, obviously- & that’s where i’m headed, honey. <<< try not to vomit on the jacket <<< or break your fingers messaging a girl who doesn’t know how to pronounce your last name<<< try not to drown in my emotions<<<why do you read my mediocre words anyway<<<<what fake wisdom can you find here<<<i’m nothing but hollow<<<a pseudo-ginsberg-girl<<< i will never be a beatnik<<< to join that era, you needed to feel<<< & boy i got nothing
x
6 notes · View notes
divsaster · 8 years ago
Text
we learn to be silent. we learn to be muted. numb yourself and scream where they cannot hear you. smile at the camera & curse at the mirror. learn to wear your heart in the rolled up shrouds of your blanketed sleeves. zip it up. learn to grow thornbushes against our bruised knees. band-aid cellotape ourselves. learn to hide our ripped edges & unravelling seams. jagged stone set into our souls but we smile like we’re the universe’s favourite pearl. & maybe we are. we are a secret. we are a threat. call us aphrodite and smile at the face of death.
{‘we are the uprising,’ she said}
we learn to be seaglass. smooth down your edges, turn yourself opaque so they can’t see you’re hurting. be pretty and in someone’s else’s pocket. be for the taking. be run down by their waves. give in, they say.
1K notes · View notes
divsaster · 8 years ago
Photo
xxx
Tumblr media
394K notes · View notes