divisn

[divisn]

NOTICE :        logan ,    @scintst​ ,   &   @gnslingr   have  all  been  moved  over  to  my  new  multimuse :    @poetrot​  for  the  sake  of  my  own  sanity !   they  may  return  to  their  own  blogs  in  due  time ,   but  for  right  now  you  can  catch  them  over  there !

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  my           POETRY           is         as           SWEET           as         i            AM   my            ROT            is         as            HUNGRY            as         i             AM

independent     ,           moderately        selective  ,            active           multimuse     envisaging     canon     &     original      characters   .      as     writ     by     rowan .

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                                          𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌  𝒇𝒐𝒓  𝒕𝒉𝒆  𝒍 𝒊 𝒈 𝒉 𝒕  .  .  .                                                 multi-fandom  multi-muse                     of characters from netflix’s lucifer, bbc’s orphan black, & 𝑴𝑶𝑹𝑬 !

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                                                   ❝   𝒅𝒆𝒇𝒚 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎.  ❞

                                                      miller, landon.                                    WYNONNA EARP .  .  . BBD AGENT/SCIENTIST OC.

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long work week ahead,  n’ i can’t promise anything activity - wise but i’m going to do my best !    just pls bear with me ,   it’s gonna be a rough few days .

[divisn]

𝒄𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒆𝒏𝒂 ​:

   WILD  hues  evolve  into  something  relatively  TRANQUIL,  head  angling  to  the  side  whilst  she  studies  the  blonde  stranger  in  front  of  her.  grip  becomes  somewhat  looser  on  the  sheers  in  her  grasp  &  a  twinge  of  remorse  fills  her  chest  as  she  swallows  roughly.    “sorry,  sister.  i  was  just  .  .  .  .  ”    words  FAIL  to  find  her  lips  any  further  for  a  moment  until  a  single  blink  is  managed,  motioning  between  the  two  woman.    “   -protecting.”    the  single  word  is  mumbled  as  her  gaze  FALLS,  mentally  KICKING!  herself  before  offering  the  makeshift  weapon  to  her  sibling.  

her  childlike  awkwardness  starts  to  RISE  to  the  service,  a  small  smile  emerges  upon  features  towards  .  .  .  CLARA,  that’s  right.    “  -nice  to  .  .  .  meet  you.  sorry  i  tried  to  kill  you.  ”      she  offers  nonchalantly  with  a  shrug,  “  -nothing  personal.  ”    another  pause,    “  you  seem  like  nice  girl  .  .  .  PRETTY.  i  hope  we  can  be  friends.  ”    a  minuscule  smile  still  present  as  feet  shuffle  beneath  her.    “  -like  you  &  my  sister.  ”    words  are  stated  before  glancing  up  at  logan,  “  ‘s  correct?  ”  a  brow  raised,  OBLIVIOUS  to  the  degree  of  which  the  two’s  relations  were  ENTWINED.

𝐚𝐩𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐲 𝐢𝐬𝐧’𝐭 𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐫𝐲 ,         though   logan   doesn’t   make   any   effort   to   ASSUAGE IT      -      this   all   certainly   hadn’t   been   the   best way   for   the   two   women   to   meet      (   logan   having   already   been   HESITANT   for   such   a   thing   to   HAPPEN AT ALL   ) .      hand   extends ,      tenderly   taking   the   scissors   from   her   sister’s   hand   without   ANY SIGN OF A GRUDGE .      makeshift weapon   is   held   amongst   her   fingers   with   indecision   before   logan   BENDS ,      placing   it   atop   the   glass   coffee   table   with   a   gentle      ‘ CLATTER ’ .      feet   move   the   brunette   ever   so   SLIGHTLY CLOSER   to   her   girlfriend ,      a   ginger   smile   gracing   her   lips   at   the   NEWFOUND REPOSE   settling   within   their   environment .      

ASSUMPTION WRIGHTS SHEEPISHNESS   upon   logan’s   features ,      abashed   mahogany   hues   finding   clara   as   if   HOPING   she’d   have   an   answer .         “   uh . . .      not exactly . . .      friends ?   ”         an   attempt   to   EXPLAIN ,      however   obscure .      it’s   a   reasonable   assumption ,      at   the   very   least      -      she’d   said   NOTHING   to   celaena   about   being   in   any   sort   of   ENTANGLEMENT   prior      /      this   being   information   she   likely   SHOULD’VE   indulged .         “   we’re . . .      together .   ”         lips   purse ,      slightly   APOLOGETIC LOOK   cast   to   her   sister   in   recognition   of   her   withholdance .         “   i probably should’ve told you .   ”

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𝑫𝑬𝑨𝑻𝑯 𝑶𝑭 𝑨𝑵 𝑶𝑷𝑻𝑰𝑴𝑰𝑺𝑻 .    (   lyric starters  originating  from  the  works  of  grandson .   mature  &  dark  themes  are  present ,   tread  with  caution .   ) 

❛  tell  me  what  you’re  trying  to  hide .  ❜ ❛  look  me  in  my  eyes ,   tell  me  everything’s  not  fine .  ❜ ❛  i’ve  got  a  secret  i  need  you  to  keep .  ❜ ❛  beg  me  for  mercy .  ❜ ❛  i’m  not  so  brave ,   &  i’m  not  so  smart .  ❜ ❛  i’m  doing  you  a  favor .  ❜ ❛  i  did  a  lot  wrong  that  i  can’t  make  right .  ❜ ❛  i  can’t  cope .  ❜ ❛  there’s  no  difference  between  you  &  i .  ❜ ❛  there’s  no  way  of  stopping  this .  ❜ ❛  is  there  anybody  out  there  that’s  paying  attention ?  ❜ ❛  i  try  to  do  my  part .  ❜ ❛  how  did  we  get  here ?  ❜ ❛  one  day  i  know  i’ll  regret  it .  ❜ ❛  i’m  in  love  with  the  pain .  ❜ ❛  idle  hands�� are  the  devil’s  best  friend .  ❜ ❛  won’t  you  help  me ,   please ?  ❜ ❛  we  might  not  make  it  ‘til  the  morning .  ❜ ❛  i’m  a  sick  joke .  ❜ ❛  we’re  stronger  when  we’re  together .  ❜ ❛  it’s  the  same  shit ,   just  a  different  year .  ❜ ❛  i’m  terrified  none  of  it  matters  at  all .  ❜ ❛  i’ve  gotta  get  out  of  here  as  quick  as  i  can .  ❜ ❛  there’s  a  knock  at  your  front  door .  ❜ ❛  beg  me  for  mercy .  ❜ ❛  do  exactly  what  you’re  told .  ❜ ❛  don’t  listen  to  them ,   you’re  not  free .  ❜ ❛  there’s  nobody  that  can  stop  me .  ❜ ❛  i’ve  got  one  life  so  i’m  gonna  live  it .  ❜ ❛  i  don’t  want  to  move  on .  ❜ ❛  where  the  fuck  do  we  go  now ?  ❜ ❛  my  heart  keeps  fucking  up  the  motherfucking  plan .  ❜ ❛  i’m  done  playing  games .  ❜ ❛  nobody  make  a  sound .  ❜ ❛  the  higher  the  crime ,   the  harder  the  fall .  ❜ ❛  everybody  told  me  ever  since  i  was  young ,   i  should  bite  my  tongue .  ❜ ❛  i  don’t  know  where  i’m  gonna  go .  ❜ ❛  i  will  not  apologize .  ❜ ❛  i  think  it’s  time  for  a  change .  ❜ ❛  get  down  on  the  ground .  ❜ ❛  sometimes  the  bad  guy  wins .  ❜ ❛  this  is  my  one  shot  at  redemption .  ❜ ❛  i’m  looking  up  at  rock  bottom .  ❜ ❛  i  don’t  want  to  get  left  behind .  ❜ ❛  is  this  what  you  wanted ?  ❜ ❛  i  wish  i’d  read  the  signs  better ,   ‘cause  the  writing  was  on  the  wall .  ❜ ❛  i’m  just  trying  to  get  used  to  these  changes .  ❜ ❛  i  thought  i  had  the  upper  hand .  ❜ ❛  one  day  you’ll  understand  why  i  pushed  you  away  as  i  ran .  ❜ ❛  what’s  your  alibi ?  ❜ ❛  i’ve  gotta  get  out  of  this  town  somehow .  ❜ ❛  the  bad’s  been  slowly  getting  worse .  ❜ ❛  what’s  your  life  worth ?  ❜ ❛  i’m  still  trying  to  find  my  identity .  ❜ ❛  somebody  call  the  doctor !  ❜ ❛  that  which  you  fear  is  that  which  you  become .  ❜ ❛  does  any  of  this  pain  have  meaning ?  ❜ ❛  i  was  in  over  my  head .  ❜ ❛  should  we  just  say  ‘to  hell  with  it  all’ ?  ❜ ❛  i’m  gonna  get  away  with  it .  ❜ ❛  you  think  that  you  can  stop  me ?  ❜ ❛  this  isn’t  gonna  be  some  little  fix .  ❜ ❛  i’m  sick  of  being  an  optimist .  ❜ ❛  don’t  resist  the  temptation .  ❜ ❛  we  can  all  be  saved .  ❜ ❛  i  want  to  feel  something .  ❜ ❛  i’m  feeling  all  this  pressure ,   it’s  a  weight  on  my  shoulders .  ❜ ❛  i’m  looking  for  the  proof  that  i’m  alive .  ❜ ❛  all  i  ever  wanted  was  a  little  piece  &  quiet .  ❜ ❛  i  am  the  thing  you  created .  ❜ ❛  i’ve  tried  getting  better ,   did  all  of  the  twelve  steps .  ❜ ❛  if  you  love  me ,   let  me  go .  ❜ ❛  you  deserve  all  you’ve  got  coming .  ❜ ❛  i  spent  my  last  dollar  on  a  motherfucking  cab .  ❜ ❛  i’ve  got  no  hope ,   not  a  sliver .  ❜ ❛  sometimes  the  good  things  don’t  last .  ❜ ❛  i’ll  do  anything  for  you ,   just  tell  me  what  you  need .  ❜ ❛  the  goodbye  is  the  hardest  part .  ❜ ❛  i  never  thought  it’d  come  to  this .  ❜ ❛  everything  will  be  okay .  ❜ ❛  i’ve  done  bad  things  to  good  people .  ❜ ❛  i’ve  got  no  self  control ,   it’s  the  root  of  my  evil .  ❜ ❛  if  i  were  you ,   i  wouldn’t  love  me  neither .  ❜ ❛  i  keep  on  looking  at  the  world  like  i’m  an  optimist .  ❜ ❛  we  can’t  go  back .  ❜ ❛  have  you  ever  thought  that  you  don’t  know  it  all ?  ❜ ❛  i  wish  you  would’ve  called .  ❜ ❛  save  me  from  myself .  ❜ ❛  nobody  really  cared ,   so  it  never  really  mattered .  ❜ ❛  what’s  the  point  in  fighting  for  a  happy  ever  after ?  ❜ ❛  i’d  rather  drop  dead .  ❜ ❛  don’t  give  up  that  easy .  ❜ ❛  i  can’t  keep  my  shit  together .  ❜ ❛  life  is  a  bitch ,   she  doesn’t  fight  fair .  ❜ ❛  i  want  to  live  for  something .  ❜ ❛  i  want  to  die  for  something .  ❜ ❛  this  won’t  last  forever .   nothing  ever  lasts  forever .  ❜ ❛  i  think  i  need  some  guidance .  ❜ ❛  you  don’t  have  to  hurt  anymore .  ❜

[divisn]

am i gonna make this one then make another in like 2-3 weeks?  probably.  should i do that?  no.  can i handle that?  no.  do i have the self control to refrain?  no.

i don’t need another oc  &  nobody asked me for one but i’m doing it anyways.

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i don’t need another oc  &  nobody asked me for one but i’m doing it anyways.

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@revnnt​​​  said :   “ 𝒊 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒕𝒐 𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒎𝒆. ”

{  ONE NEW VOICEMAIL :  → 𝚋𝚎𝚝𝚑 .   }    contact   attached   to   the   RED BADGE   draws   such   wariness   ‘pon   the   woman’s   features ,      logan   staring down   at   the   phone   CLUTCHED   ‘tween   her   fingers   with   trepidation   as   thumb   hovers   over   the   screen .         [   you haven’t talked to her in . . .      what ,      TEN DAYS ?      not since your visit to the fire station ‘pon haught’s request     —      nothing beyond small   back - & - forth’s   through text ,      even then being  IMPERSONAL      &      brief .   ]         pad   of   logan’s   thumb   presses down ,      phone   lifted   as   clara’s voice   begins   to   FILL HER EAR .      she’s   missed   it      —      OH ,      GOD ,      SHE’S MISSED THAT VOICE .      voicemail   ends   FAR   sooner   than   she’d   anticipated      —      merely   a   brief ,      URGENT   few   words   that   TAPER OFF      /      as   if   the   other   woman   had   decided   that   her   message   was   TOO CRITICAL   to   relay   over   the   phone .         

{   “ I NEED YOU TO CALL ME . ”   }         brows   furrow   as   the   voicemail   clicks   to   its   end ,      phone   LOWERED   for   brunette   to   STARE AT THE SCREEN ;      notification   now   turned   dark   to   ANNOUNCE   it   had   been   seen .         [   there’s hesitation clear in your eyes ,      if only for you to process the  GREAT NUMBER OF CONCERNS  rushing through that head of yours all at once .      (   /   is she okay ?      where is she ?      she wouldn’t have called if it wasn’t important .   /   )   ]         THINGS MOVE QUICKLY THEREAFTER ,      phone   navigated   ‘til   the   monotonous   sound   of   a   pending   call   befalls   the   silence      /      lifted   to   her   ear   as   it   RINGS .

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𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒏​ :

           “Where’d you come from?” Dean looks over his shoulder to see the other, then turns back to focus on doctoring his coffee. Clearly not too concerned by her being here. 

“   𝒖𝒉𝒉   —      the closest place to hell we can reach without dying .   ”         said   with   a   GRIMACE   of   a   smile   as   the   door   swings   shut   in   her   wake ,      logan   pressing   forwards   to   GRACELESSLY   drop   her   bag   beside   the   coffee   machine .         “   —    with satan herself ,     actually .   ”         there’s   a   vague   WAVE   of   the   dark   binder   in   her   hand ,      seemingly   STUFFED TO CAPACITY   with   files .         “   lucado’s office .   ”

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@expriimnt​​​​  said :   " 𝒊 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒊 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒅 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆. "

“   i   —      uh ,   ”         hands   that   have   extended   in   an   effort   to   PLACATE HER SISTER   falter   slightly ,      fleeting ,      APOLOGETIC   glance   cast   towards   their   company   before   eyes   once   again   come   to   LOCK   onto   celaena     &    the   pair   of   scissors   she’d   seemingly   grabbed   on   her   way   to   the   living   room .         “   she’s fine ,      she’s fine !      i invited her .   ”

the   woman   can   DECIDEDLY ADMIT   that   having   offered   for   the   other   woman   to   come   over   without   any   ANNOUNCEMENT   hadn’t   been   the   brightest   of   ideas   considering   celaena’s   DISPOSITION      /      but   with   everything   that   had   occurred   in   the   past   TWO WEEKS ,      there   had   been   little to no time  to   keep   clara’s   company .      it   had   felt   so   natural ,      so   THOUGHTLESS ,      asking   clara   to   DROP BY   after   work      —      no   consideration   given   to   the   possibility   of   this   exact   scenario   occurring .         “   this is clara ,      she’s not with black badge .      she’s good ,      cel .   ”         hands   LOWER   to   her   sides ,      a   vague   gesture   made   between   the   two   other   women .         “   clara ,      this is celaena      —      i told you about her .   ”

[divisn]

normalize not writing everyday.

normalize losing motivation.

normalize smaller blogs.

normalize less notes and reblogs.

normalize lack of inspiration.

it’s okay if you don’t write, post or publish everyday. it’s okay if you don’t feel like finishing that work in progress. it’s okay if you can’t mentally or physically come up with something. it’s okay if you don’t have this many followers, notes, or reblogs. any of this does not define your worth. your value. your talent.

golden rule, support and love others as you’d want to be. don’t be afraid to reach out and self-promoted. it’s okay. it really is.

writing, editing, or creating in general is a hobby for most, maybe a future career. but regardless, it should be enjoyable. make it enjoyable for yourself. you have that ability to.

[divisn]

100 Days of Sarah Manning:   Day 86

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i should be back to writing both here  &  on @gnslingr in the next few days,  i’m just in a mental rut at the moment  +  trying to get back into the swing of work.

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