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[divineberry-blog]

text ✉️ rachel + open

RACH: I’ve been rather stressed out lately. I’ve got Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon Prime.

RACH: Please share your favorite shows. Documentaries and movies are allowed, too!

RACH: I’ll even throw in a free movie night with yours truly, but only if you provide the cheap wine. I’ll provide the heavily buttered popcorn, pretzels, and hummus.

RACH: And maybe you could hug me or something, too.

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KITTY: It was my pastor's gift to me! What was I supposed to do with it? NOT accept it?

KITTY: Besides, it'll help us if we get stuck in any haunted theater or hotel.

KITTY: Right? I'ma bout to get a total migraine which is so not necessary

atm.

RACHEL: No, of course not. I just think it’s adorable in a good way.

Rachel: That’s a good point! I never thought about it that way. Hotels and theaters are both places that are likely to be haunted, since most are quite old and many have history.

Rachel: I considered bringing sage, actually.

Rachel: If we get a haunted a hotel room, we’re definitely sleeping in the same bed and with the light so on.

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TEXT ✉️ Samchel

Sam: yea but now things are... bigger. like, more intense and stuff. it makes sense why ur feeling nervous

Sam: Gotcha. thats cool that they kno and stuff.

Sam: idk, dude. its just, u said it makes u feel like ur sneaking around right? wouldnt telling folks make it so you don't feel like that?

Sam: like i said, im not super good at this stuff. but im glad u felt comfortable enuff to talk to me about it.

Rachel: It’s just a lot that’s changing. I don’t want to dissapoint you. Or Kitty. Or anyone.

Rachel: Possibly. But either way, I’m going to keep it as a handful of people knowing for now. I don’t want the rest of the tour to get involved. Sometimes I already feel alienated enough.

Rachel: That’s okay. It’s hard to not be comfortable around you, Sam. Not that I’m not comfortable enough with anyone else, I suppose.. but you’re just.. easier to approach and I adore that.

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KITTY: Whoever is wearing that cheap ass perfume and spraying it all over the bus, stop it. Now. I'm about ready to douse our whole bus in holy water to help remove the contaminants of the smell and I'd prefer not to waste my whole collection because of some obnoxious spray.

Rachel: I still can’t believe you still carry holy water.

Rachel: It’s giving me a headache.

Rachel: The old lady smelling cheap perfume. Not the holy water.

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TEXT ✉️ Samchel

Sam: ok, but even if u think that, that's not how it really is? like, ur felling anxious even if u don't think u shud.

Sam: Idk exactly how ur feeling but when I figured out i had dsylxia, it sucked. but gettin help really made a difrence.

Sam: yea but shed never judge u for needing help Rachel

Sam: ok. maybe we can work up to u telling kitty? ur dads kno ur seeing a therapist right?

Rachel: I suppose it’s just hard to accept about myself. Especially the stage fright. I’ve been performing since I was a kid.

Rachel: I’m sure it did. And I mean, i am getting the help, I just don’t like it. It makes me feel like I’m sneaking around.

Rachel: They know I am, yeah. But I used to so it wasn’t a huge surprise. They don’t really know the exact extent of why I’m back in therapy, but they know enough I guess.

Rachel: I just don’t know why she has to know.

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TEXT ✉️ Samchel

Sam: why do u hate it so much? its not lame to like get help for stuff, specially when its like, really hard mental stuff.

Sam: Sorry, im not good at this kinda thing

Sam: ok... I wnot tell her. just think abt talkin to her? she mite surprise u

Rachel: Because I don’t have a reason to be this anxious and afraid. Everything in my life is right where I need it to be. I shouldn’t need therapy.

Rachel: No, don’t be sorry. I mean, I obviously told you for a reason, Sam. I love Kitty, and i don’t know why I this relates to me, but she can be...judgy.

Rachel: I’ve thought about it. Every time i think about it makes me anxious.

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divinestkitty:

Of course I can believe we have years of friendship now, I’ve been there for all of it. Do you remember when we first met? Because I definitely don’t have that date memorized, Rach. 

…You feeling okay? You’re blabbing a bit more than usual. Have you already indulged in that red wine?

I wrote it down in my planner one year, but I can’t seem to remember the actual date. Let’s just pick a cool one during the month we first met!

Yes, I’m simply just..superb! Don’t worry. No, no red wine for me yet, unless you want to have a wine night.. and I’ll be game as long as I don’t end up horribly hungover and the lights on stage don’t make me want to vomit. I’m just a blabber, Kitty! It’s what I do, after all. No problem here. How are you on this fine Wednesday?

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a rachel barbra berry playlist ⭐

lorde; bravado

I learned not to want the quiet of a room with no one around to find me out I want the applause, the approval, the things that make me go oh

ryan gosling & emma stone; city of stars

City of stars Just one thing everybody wants There in the bars And through the smokescreen of the crowded restaurants It's love

my chemical romance; SING

You've got to make a choice If the music drowns you out And raise your voice Every single time they try and shut your mouth

jessie mueller; she used to be mine

She's imperfect, but she tries She is good, but she lies She is hard on herself She is broken and won't ask for help She is messy, but she's kind

barbra streisand; being good isn’t good enough

Then that's the way it's gotta be There's no other way for me Being good just won't be good enough I'll be the best or nothing at all

christina perri; arms

You put your arms around me And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go You put your arms around me and I'm home

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divinestkitty:

Everyone has predictable elements to them, like how I’m very likely to bring up Jesus or how Sam will bring up her family. And since we know each other well, we can predict those things easily. I think I’m the biggest expert on what makes Rachel Barbra Berry tick at this point. I’d be insulted if I didn’t know what was going on in your head at this point.

That’s a good point. Yes, yes you are. But just because you’ve known me for so long and we’re the best of friends. We’ve got years under our belt Kitty, can you believe it? We should have a friendship anniversary party or something just so I can drink red wine and blab about you on social media. Also, I can be pretty obvious with my emotions, most of the time-- that probably helps, too. Yeah..you definitely know everything that’s swirling through this talented head of mine.

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faplayyourguitar:

I meant where you are in life, but thank you for the offer. 

I know that, Quinn! Which is why I thanked you for being so nice to me! I was just thinking about how much fun we had when we sat together on the bus last time, is all. It really was the most relazing bus ride in the books. Although maybe it was because I had someone next to me who actually talked to me and let me get all cozy with them. Although really, I think it was just you.

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m4rleyrose:

I used to think I knew a lot of trivia, but alas, I need to study.

To be fair we were poor, but it was the only shoe related story I thought I had.

Thankfully, there’s a plethora of trivia apps you can use to refresh those skills.

Ah, well..still! I think that’s the only shoe related story I have, too. Just that I used to wear actual loafers in high school until Kitty slapped some sense into me. I’ve really gone on a shoe glow-up.

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norahpuckerman:

Apparently it’s the state official soft drink. I read that in one of those tourism guides they have at the hotel. It’s…sad, really. I always thought Jersey had some weird history, but man. The midwest is just so weirdly innocent and bizarre to me. As is the idea of having a lemonade stand at all. You might be a bit less city-like than I expected, Berry.

Really? How interesting and disappointing. It does make me feel rather nostalgic, though. The midwest just screams corn and innocence and weird soft drink obsessions, but I’m enjoying the charm of this place. It’s very mellow. And I can see the stars. Don’t say that! I did what all kids had to do to make money, hustle! And sell sugary drinks on the front stoop. I don’t think the other kids did performances, though..not that they’d need to because at that age I already had more talent in my toe than they’d ever have in their lives. 

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divinestkitty:

Random childhood story? Check. Random fact about something sweet? Check. Random mention of Broadway? Check. This might as well have been made by a bot, because it’s the single most Rachel Barbra Berry post of all time.

That’s a good thing, right? I’m glad I’m still the same Rachel Barbra Berry we all know and love, of course-- I just didn’t think I was that predictable.

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TEXT ✉️ Samchel

Sam: i mean it kinda shows temwork? not much tho cuz its all about u building a team and then havin them fight.

Sam: im glad ur getting the help that u need, thats super important.

Sam: ...ok. But i really think kitty should kno. shes like ur best friend.

Rachel: I hate it. Therapy, I mean. I used to go as a kid but now that I’m old and mature I don’t know if it’s doing much. Makes me feel lame.

Rachel: Doesn’t mean she needs to know this. I don’t even know how she’d respond.

Rachel: We all have secrets.

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faplayyourguitar:

That’s something no one can fault you for, Rae. Especially where you are now.

There you go being way too nice and supportive again! I swear, you just make me blush and blush and blush. But I do appreciate it, of course. I appreciate you!

You should’ve come sat by me this time! I had a few seats all to myself, which was definitely fantastic and I got to stretch out and actually cover all of myself with a blanket, but I wouldn’t have minded your company. At all. 

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m4rleyrose:

I feel like such a bad Nebraskan because I had no idea about this.

That’s an… interesting story, though. I once sold my shoes to buy my mom dinner for her birthday?

My dads know way too much pointless trivia-- more than the average man. 

Oh, goodness. You did? Way to make me feel like a bad daughter, Marley. I never really had to do that myself..but that’s very inspiring of you.

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andersblair:

Lemonade Koolaid and cookies sounds like a dream.

Hello, Blair. I’d recommend going to the nearest Wal-Mart and purchasing it, then. They even have Kool-aid that’s already mixed! I’m glad you apparently love such simple pleasures.