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Me when he says he likes football:

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x

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sorry, i'm a ten 😊

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Wish you could louder?? Well. Try tlaking into 🎤 the michaelphone.

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they're boiling me in oil tomorrow and the day after as well

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i just wanted to let you all know that i am normal

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😐 ........ (says nothing but the force of my emotion throws everyone backwards 20 feet)

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Me after swiping on Ashton's post and seeing Calum:

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the two quarterbacks will ceremoniously kiss at the end of the game to signify the end of the superbowl and the beginning of valentine's day

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the sweet and humble sudoku: here’s some numbers to get you started :) please enjoy my puzzle <3

the nefarious minesweeper: why don’t you just Guess. fucking Guess.

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i’ve got a long term plan with short term fixes?!!!!:): and a wasted heart that just eclipses!!?):$:$/7/ and i’ll push my luck from TRUST TO DUST!!;!:$:8:8 , and that’s the story of ANOTHER US :7;;&:$:):&/&&%|^\*^{~^~€

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in case you’re not watching the super bowl halftime show: kendrick lamar did indeed perform “not like us” and looked directly in the camera and smiled when he said “say drake, i hear you like em young”

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I’m deficient in vitamins they haven’t even discovered yet

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calum 💋

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