dious-chaos

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Finally, my favorite angel gets his turn in the spotlight..

Castiel

He is an angel of the lord who learns to be human through terrible hardships and the help of the 2 brothers. Castiel started closed-off and emotionless, before becoming loving and open to humanity. His humanity is because of the Winchester brothers, and that warms my heart. He came to them as this emotionless angel doing "God's" work, doing what needed to be done for Heaven. As time passed in Dean and Sam's company, he began to have his own thoughts and opinions -separate to the wishes of Heaven- that led him. Whether they were negative or positive he took it and ran with it, what is more human than that?

Castiel, in my opinion, embodies religious trauma. Symptoms of this type of trauma are: Self-hatred (Castiel goes through many different events that cause him to lose love for himself, the one that comes to mind is his self-isolation in Purgatory- he believed he belonged there), Shame (He began feeling human emotions or fondness for Sam and Dean, but chose to -badly- hide it until he couldn’t), Perfectionism (his fellow angels expected him to behave a certain way and he forced himself to fit that box until his feelings toward the brothers grew too intense to ignore.. Dean and Sam expect him to always be there to save the day so he feels terrible when he isn't able to), Hypervigilance (the angels are serious beings that anticipate the worst of humanity, demons, and Lucifer. That’s the Castiel we meet at the beginning), Difficulty with making decisions (even when he was "correct" he took orders from another before doing anything. Castiel then turns to Dean for directions), Loss of community (the other angels look down on Castiel for choosing to "fall" for the Winchester brothers), Lack of boundaries (Castiel had no autonomy, his brain was picked at and changed to fit Naomi's viewpoint so much so that he almost killed Dean because she made it so), Delayed social milestones (Castiel knew nothing about the aspects of humanity when he first appeared, he learned everything from Sam and Dean- and the pizza man), Sexual dysfunction (never had sex before knowing Dean and Sam… like what? He's been around forever.), Mental health disorders (Castiel goes through bouts of depression- feeling hopeless in his many times being human. Castiel gains terrible emotional scars each time he dies or loses someone important to him. Castiel becomes broken and paralyzed after being forced to attack others, including Dean, which weighs heavily on his psyche.)

Through it all, his emotions for Dean continued to grow. He came to see Dean as his best friend. He grew to love Dean. Yet, he also gained a life beyond the Winchesters. Castiel gained a son- adopted at birth- he cherished and protected, which he proved by trading his life for his son's. In the end, he never got to know how Dean felt for him in return. His ending was to confess his love, and then be taken from his family.

[dious-chaos]

TW: Implied SA

Sam spent 180 years in the cage.. He came back knowing Enochian and flinching away from shadows. He never spoke about what happened.. but his body remembers the touch of Lucifer all the same. Some days he wakes up and checks the entire bunker to make sure Lucifer isn't there. Sam stops sleeping with the light off, because Lucifer used the darkness of the cage to his advantage.. Sam kept his distance from Castiel when he first got back because he remembers the feeling of Lucifer's wings as he pressed against him... Sam came back broken in a worse way then Dean could ever imagine. Sam wasn't tortured the way Dean was, skinned alive would have been too easy for Lucifer.. No, he took everything from Sam. Piece by piece, until the only thing Sam could hear, feel, see, taste, and touch was Lucifer. When Sam came back he had to be taught to speak English again, all he knew was enochian.

Sam had to be taught how to be Sam again.. for the second time in his life he was taught by Dean how to live, eat, talk.

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Dean spent 40 years in hell.. He came back knowing how to torture, specifically the most gruesome way to take a person apart, to make them suffer. He never mentioned the 30 years he spent being the one taken apart, never talked about how some days he wakes up and his skin feels like it's on fire as if Alistair is right there peeling it off him. Dean flinches away from touch sometimes because all the pain he endured is lighting his nerves up with fire.. Dean was saved from Hell but the pain and the memories stayed.

[dious-chaos]

I'm obsessed with Apollo in PJO. He's a girlboss. He's bisexual. He's a loser. He killed his ex boyfriend by screaming at him. He's enslaved by a twelve year old. He's the 4000 year old god. He's stuck in the body of a 16 year old with acne. He passes out every fifty pages. He claims to be the eldest twin. His twin sister helped deliver him. He has a talking prophetic arrow only he can hear. He canonically gave birth to Kayla through godly mpreg. He fucking hates ravens. He sang Sweet Caroline whilst actively dying from a zombie virus. He loves elephants. He's a simp. He got cockblocked by a talking sword. He hates everything. He needs to be protected by a 12 year old whenever a fight breaks out. He's a sopping wet cat. He's blorbo. He's entirely and utterly pathetic. He should NEVER be allowed a gun. We stan <3

[dious-chaos]

I'm genuinely obsessed with the show Supernatural, and since I made one about Dean already that means I needed to make this one.

Sam Winchester

He likes healthy food (rabbit food), has a fear of being seen as a freak, and idolizes Dean. Sam is irritatingly kind, often pushing Dean to do different things on a hunt than he wouldn't think of doing personally. One example of that is when this psychic kid was trying to kill his stepmom he attempted to talk him down and save him rather than kill him. He is so mentally strong it's scary at times, He has managed to overcome Famine's power and fought through Lucifer's control of his body. Sam forces Dean to look at and deal with his emotions in a way that makes him uncomfortable but makes them better afterward.

The need for revenge fueled him for years after Jess died before it turned into a genuine need to do the right thing and save others. Sam is attentive, listening to every word said to them and putting together a solid plan. He takes on the brains of the hunting, researching every creature and location when they take a case. Sam was essentially kicked out of the home by their father for choosing to get an education- which he did with the intent to be a lawyer- and pushing to gain his own life away from their father's expectations. Sam has a genuine drive to get out of hunting, as seen by the multitude of times he manages to do so. That being said Sam always came back to hunting because of his crazy codependency to Dean which gets them into the most trouble. Sam and Dean take turns dying and saving the other brother for the entirety of the show.

Sam struggles with mental health, specifically what could be seen as schizophrenia. As the show continues Sam withdraws more socially, which is another early sign of schizophrenia. Dean became Sam's main source of contact with people, and he began to drink to the point of passing out often. Sam also begins to have debilitating hallucinations of Lucifer that lead him to harm himself to "get back to reality". If we look back into season 1 we start to see the signs, the big one being suicidal tendencies (Sam believing that he should give himself over to the demons, and even later when he is willing to die to cure Dean). He even has multiple times where he falls into a delusion that he alone can do something (killing Lilith because of his demon-blood addiction, or the trials he puts himself through- to cure Dean). Another symptom is extremely disorganized behavior (Sam gets angry when his "failures" or shortcomings are put into question, this results in him storming off and leaving Dean). The struggle Sam has with his mental health is a significant challenge he faces, which shows the impact the torture and trauma he endured has on his psyche.

Sam deserved an ending that had Dean alongside him helping him be Sammy like he had been his whole life…

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I've been deeply delving into Supernatural at the moment and I just put something together that I felt should be out in the interwebs.

Dean Winchester and his layers

Obviously we have the stuff everyone already knows right? He likes pie, he has anger issues, he feels overprotective of Sam. But Dean is actually incredibly intelligent yet downplays it for Sam (nothing against Sam cuz I love that man too) and everyone else, some examples of that: He made his own emf reader out of a cassette player and electromagnet from a microwave, he hacked/disarmed a museums security alarm, referenced Vonnegut; Homer; Lord of the Flies and Tolkien, watched and loved Star Trek, he plays dress up/cosplays/larps, etc. Dean was also the one who cared about holidays, trying so hard to give them to little Sammy, and being hurt when adult Sam wanted none of it. Dean had to take on the role of mom and dad for Sam his entire life, even going hungry so his little boy didn’t. He's an amazing cook, has crazy good mechanical skills, loves anything to do with music- karaoke, guitars on his wall, cassette to Cas- and Dean even had a career picked out which had nothing to do with hunting… he wanted to be a firefighter. Dean even took a teaching role as PE teacher in one episode when he could've picked anything else, that just builds a better image of the caring man Dean raised himself to be. Not to mention the fact that when Sam was in the cage with Lucifer Dean GOT OUT!! He wanted that apple pie life, the life he pushed Sam into his whole life because he knew only one of them would get that chance… and of course he'd want it to be his brother/son.

He grew up to hide his wants and dreams in order to please the man who only wanted a soldier, Dean even went so far as seeing his own life as less than Sam and pushing to die instead of the brother he took care of alone. Dean gained food insecurity, he never knew when he would get to eat and we see this throughout the show as he shoves any free food into his mouth like he'll never eat again. He also showed signs of CPTSD, a mental health condition that can develop if you experience chronic (long-term) trauma.

It involves stress responses, such as: Anxiety (maybe like how got scared and he immediately apologized after not shooting John, and then knew it wasn’t his father because the demon wasn’t upset), Having flashbacks or nightmares (post hell is the first thing that comes to mind), Avoiding situations (trying to keep the peace between Sam and John), places and other things related to the traumatic event (avoiding Lawrence KS for decades), Heightened emotional responses, such as impulsivity or aggressiveness (he gets really upset in difficult conversations first and then the other emotions come later), Persistent difficulties in sustaining relationships (come on, Dean is a ladies man).

Examples of chronic trauma include: Long-term child physical or sexual abuse (tell me that John didn’t physically abuse or "discipline" his boys), Long-term domestic violence (again.. Physical abuse by John), Being a victim of human or sex trafficking (not canon… but it could have happened in all the years his father neglected them and fucked off to fight the monsters while his own kids struggled to get by), War (hunter and monsters are at war), Frequent community violence (hunters and monsters alike can be POS). While CPTSD is often associated with chronic trauma in childhood, adults who experience chronic trauma can also develop the condition (which means it only gets worse for Dean as he gets older and doesn't get help for it).

So yeah. Dean deserved better than a piece of rebar at the ass end of Supernatural, that’s all..