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Chef’s kiss

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While the Onion buying InfoWars is indeed extremely funny, very few of the posts I've seen commenting on the sale have mentioned that the families of the Sandy Hook victims apparently agreed to voluntarily reduce their lawsuit payout as part of a deal to ensure that the Onion would acquire InfoWars wholesale, rather than having the company broken up and auctioned off piecemeal, as the latter course could potentially have allowed some of those pieces to end up back in the hands of Alex Jones' cronies.

Like, yes, it is in fact very funny that InfoWars is now a wholly owned subsidiary of Clickhole, but the real props go out to the Sandy Hook families who saw the opportunity and willingly gave up the additional millions of dollars that could have been realised by stripping InfoWars for parts in order to make that happen.

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scurvy has got to have one of the biggest disease/treatment coolness gaps of all time. like yeah too much time at sea will afflict you with a curse where your body starts unraveling and old wounds come back to haunt you like vengeful ghosts. unless☝️you eat a lemon

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The reading comprehension and overall common sense on this website is piss poor.

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“Many people seem to think it foolish, even superstitious, to believe that the world could still change for the better. And it is true that in winter it is sometimes so bitingly cold that one is tempted to say, ‘What do I care if there is a summer; its warmth is no help to me now.’ Yes, evil often seems to surpass good. But then, in spite of us, and without our permission, there comes at last an end to the bitter frosts. One morning the wind turns, and there is a thaw. And so I must still have hope.”

— Vincent Van Gogh

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i’m home sick with the flu and i just received this email from my father

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Them, your honor

Anyways thank you echoes for giving poor a-ttp link a rest

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jokes aside i think it’s amazing and heartwarming to see like 4chan incel bros perform the miracle of crawling out of that hole and becoming real human beings and chronicling their journey to realizing that they can be well adjusted happy normal dudes

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Street mirror selfie ✌️

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Frfr I fecking love EOW Zelda so much, y’all have no idea. She may look like a normal lil princess on the surface but she’s definitely just as if not more crazy than BOTW/TOTK Link & I’m not kidding. She’s a girl who gets zoomies. Nobody blinks when she swims in the well or climbs onto the rooftops (both are possible, even easy before the Tri-rod!). Her family calls her “spirited,” when being polite. She’s about as good at climbing & swimming as she is at running (without magic item assistance!). Her rock climbing speed is particularly insane, faster than BOTW, even before you figure out spamming B makes her climb faster! She’s short & may not always be able to reach the trees without a trampoline… once she’s up there though she’s better at clamoring among the trees than the actual Hero Of Wilds. She’s scurrying along like a lil monkey. She sees a place she wants to go, she figures out how to get there by sheer spite & insanity. She’s definitely got tree or rose-bush branches sticking out of her hair more often than not at like all times through her whole life. Truly no wonder why the other leaders haven’t met her yet, fam was definitely hoping she’d grow out of her feral zoomies stage of girlhood but welp that’s clearly never going to happen… they all still love her though. She’s a what if botw Zelda actually had the chance to happily bloom with a loving, even if mildly exasperated-at-times family. She isn’t forced to “grow up,” & it’s in-fact her free spirit that saves Hyrule. I have many feelings, EOW Zelda’s freaking amazing.

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My dream for the election is that it’s definitive. I want a 2012-style Election Day where everyone built it up beforehand to possibly be close but then the results start rolling in and it was like “Oh, nevermind. It’s obviously Obama. Everyone go to bed.”

I just want voters to put a stake right through the heart of Trumpism so that it crumbles to ash before our eyes. That’s the dream.

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The business scrub when he makes smoothies for Zelda instead of turning her in:

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