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I'm sorry sir but no a "shrimp" did not in fact fry this rice. you're lumping crustaceans together in a very unhelpful and bigoted manner. our chef is a giant freshwater crayfish.

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why is privacy so eroded. I get treated like a nutcase if I say no, I don't want strange companies taking pictures of my home and putting them online for maps or whatever. I don't want to be in the background of your tiktok, and I think it's weirder for you to assume I'm okay with it than it is for me to politely ask you to refilm it so my face isn't in the frame. I don't enjoy handing my employer a list of every online account I have and feeling under surveillance when I'm just shit posting or sharing pictures of my cats or garden harvest. I don't want to hear your private calls on speaker on the bus, esp when the person on the line doesn't know you're broadcasting their words to strangers. I don't want an algorithm guessing what will piss me off the most so I spend more time online, engaging with shit I don't want to see or hear out of outrage. I don't want any of this. it's total ass.

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people trip me out when they say shit like “oh i miss being 10 years old and not having problems” like the fuck you mean you didn’t have problems

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having poor circulation is great because people will touch your hand and go 'oh! you're so cold!' and for a moment you get to experience what it's like to be a vampire in a romance novel

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this one gets to breach containment me thinks

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i very much enjoy the dagger † mark. its like if the asterisk had its own shadow the hedgehog

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Also: I think Aragorn gets a bad reputation now because so many lesser franchises have tried to imitate his archetype without understanding why he works. In the original movies he’s just a big gentle sad guy with a sword, who knows he’s not the real hero of the story and dedicates himself to supporting those gay little hobbits. The aragorn knockoffs are not his fault

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Made by @/kenobiheart on twitter

This is my favorite james wilson edit ever.

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Jon Arbuckle

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You will live to watch elon musk die. dont kill yourself.

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*in a masc way* hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

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Waiting to see the marriage counselor.

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He’s trying to catch them all

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no matter how hard i try i will always be that little girl wondering why everyone is better friends with eachother than her and begging to be loved