diaryofacheerfulteen

[diaryofacheerfulteen]

I got had to get emergency wisdom tooth removal yesterday because my teeth were so impacted and oh my god it was so painful for the first 10 hours. I had to wait an hours for the painkillers to be ready with only a cold water bottle as an ice pack.

TW for description of blood next:

I was literally spitting out blood and saliva into a tissue because it hurt to swallow. Once I got home I took the heavy duty painkillers and cried from pain while watching Fresh off the Boat (10/10 show) ended up falling asleep and waking up a few times before my mom helped me get into my pajamas and into bed. When I woke up around 6:30 this morning the bleeding had stopped and I could finally take out the gross gauze. Right now it’s a dull ache but hopefully the p3rks will help.

The nurses were so nice though, they asked what music I liked and I said Taylor Swift cuz I love Taylor. I ended up passing out have way through Anti-Hero which is gonna be associated with my wisdom teeth removal now lmao. Also according to the nurses I said I loved my mom multiple times while under nitrous.

If you’re getting your wisdom teeth removed it’s not that scary, the scariest part for me was the waiting part bc I didn’t know what to expect. Also how puffy my face looked, I usually have a thin face with high cheekbones but it was so swollen I barely recognized myself. Anyways time to eat popsicles and ice cream for the next 3 days :)

[diaryofacheerfulteen]

I was supposed to start my job today as a camp counselor at a nature camp but the rain was so bad that it got cancelled. Turns out my boss had sent an email like 30 minutes before I was supposed to be there saying camp was cancelled but I hadn’t checked my email because what 17 year old checks their email early in the morning. Anyways it was embarrassing being the only one there and I had to wait for my mom to pick me back up but at least I don’t have to stand in the rain watching 4-6 year olds play in the mud for 6.5 hours. Just trying to look on the bright side of things right now during this cruddy weather.

[diaryofacheerfulteen]

It’s been three months since my last post and I am now a senior. My junior year is done and the hell I went through is over. I look back to the beginning of the year, both my mental and physical health was sh1t, I spent more time in the nurses office than in my actual classes. I lost most of my friends, isolated myself and barely ever left my house except for school.

I have turned my life around though, at the beginning of my second semester my GPA was 2.7 and now it is a 3.5. I started spending my lunch and any other free time studying in the library. I started doing daily meditation and working on recovering from my health issues and now I’m doing so much better.

Also for my senior year I’m going to be doing this pre-med nursing program instead of regular school. It’s only 4 hours in the morning which means I’ll have time in the afternoon to focus on me and recovery.

No matter how hard life gets just keep pushing through and everything will be okay.

[diaryofacheerfulteen]

I am extremely depressed, I haven’t felt joy 2 months. My grades are dropping, I got a C- on my latest biology test which dropped my grade to a B- and caused me to spiral and realize I’ll never be able to become a critical care nurse. When I told my mom how unhappy I was she threatened to send me to wilderness therapy camp which with all the stories I’ve heard, is not fucking happening. I’m isolating myself from my friends, mostly because they are so boring, they really contribute nothing honestly. But whatever, I changed my sheets for the first time in awhile though which is a big accomplishment for me right now.

[diaryofacheerfulteen]

I’ve been lead on for the past 5 months by a senior. I really thought he liked me because we were always flirting, talked and texted almost everyday and he literally came to my house on Christmas Day to give me a present even though he lives 40 minutes away.

The fact he had the audacity to say he doesn’t really know me aside from school is insane, sure we didn’t spend a lot of time together outside of school but all those calls and texts seriously meant nothing?

He got me a rose on Tuesday for Valentine’s Day which made me feel so special. Well, I did technically tell him to get me one because I got one for him but whatever. Turns out he gave a rose to one of the foreign exchange students as well though.

I’m done with guys and relationships for now.

[diaryofacheerfulteen]

So I’m bad at math and to combat my horrible math skills I have to take an extra math support class. For 70 minutes every Monday and Thursday after lunch I go to room 125 and I’m given a sheet to work on. Don’t get me wrong, my introverted ass loves being in a class with a 4 to 1 student-teacher ratio instead of a 20 to 1 student-teacher ratio. I’ve probably learned more about radical quadratics in five minutes of 1-1 teaching then in four, 70 minute classes. I have a test Tuesday and I’m not feeling ready.