dfordynamite-blog

[dfordynamite-blog]

Credit Fuckery.

Morning, y’all. Now, let me tell you - I’m hella pissed. Why do I have to have 25 cows in my backyard, a house, a signed poster of Celine Dion and 4 vials of tears before someone in this country will give me credit.. I mean, fucking hell Mr Price, I’m asking for a R50 tank top, not a GT2RS. 

You’re telling me I have to have debt to make debt, cool. I feel you. BUT HOW IN THE YELLOW, FEATHERY FUCK MUST I MAKE DEBT IF NO ONE WILL LET ME?! I can’t get credit because I don’t have credit because I can’t get credit to have credit... Do you see this painful cycle?! 

I’m not a baller here, I have 2 minute noodles at least 13 times a month (bear in mind that this is due to me “living my best life” for the next 4 days after pay day but anyway) - good fucking gracious, can I not just get one measly account?! NO?!

I don’t even want your bitch ass clothes or your R170 facecloths (we see you, Woolies), I want to buy a new whip, man. And in order for me to get my hands on my new car.. I need to dala an account here and there. So, for the love of all things good in this world, CAN ALL OF YOU FSPs just stop being drols and come to the party? I have coilovers waiting for the car I can’t get because y’all are being suinig moers.

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DREAMS!

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J Cole’s mind remains unmatched for me! This verse alone... 

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I literally went “dfhgjhgkdjghghe”

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Are you even living?

I caught myself at my desk today, worrying about how I haven’t done enough and the fact that I’m running out of time and I keep messing shit up... And then I remembered.. I’m 20 FUCKING YEARS OLD (almost), why am I acting like I’m one mistake away from a Marie Antoinette situation? 

Why do other people my age feel the same? Like, you’re brand new.. Take a minute to smell the vodka! Be a hoe, learn to paint, get your degree. Your twenties are yours to fuck up, and you shouldn’t forget that! Don’t let your boss, boyfriend, situationship, parents or anyone else take them away from you.. This is the time for you to make your biggest mistakes and find out WHAT THE FUCK IS UP KYLE!

I’m just saying.. I like my desk with my fake plant and pencil holder, but maybe I’ll like living in an LG TV box in Honolulu?! Maybe I’ll like blikseming an R34 around the Nurburgring?! Who even knows?! Just slat that tequila shot, dala that trip to Croatia that you can’t afford. You are yours before you’re anyone else’s!

Live your best fucking life, (unless that involves being an insufferable doos, then maybe don’t)!

- D

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Coffee and mk5 booty is vital to a successful Thursday.

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Hey Deiondre, I know you roll your eyes so far back into your head that you can see your brain when I talk to you, so I'll just leave you alone.

No one ever.

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Okay, so first post!

So, I say “fuck” a lot, so if you’re not into profanity, this ain’t the place for you.

Honestly, I can’t tell you what this blog will even be fully about (which, according to the numerous blogging books I’ve read, is so clearly a wrong thing to do, gotta find your niche and target that). But fuck it, I’m a whole suitcase of complexities. Like, a Kim K-going-to-Italy suitcase.

Basically, I love cars and the general automotive scene. I have great taste in music (KC was shot by Courtney Love, don’t @ me), and dogs.. Pizza is SO nice, but so is cocaine and I tend to avoid both for health purposes. Oh yes, I’m gonna hit a young 20 very soon! I live in a sad little apartment in Jo’burg, it’s magical. 

Um. Cars, music, dogs... Travel? I’m too poor to offer you pictures of my lard ass on a beach in Turks and Caicos, but I can probably give you some overrated pictures of me fucking around at the Boardwalk in Umhlanga, so there’s that!

I’m winging life at this point, but who isn’t? Doing my BA in Communication Science, I’m a marketing manager (that’s right, bitches) - kinda want to live in tiny apartment in Vancouver but we’ll get to that later! 

Uh, ya no hey. That’s all I have for now.