devilsbedstory

[devilsbedstory]

Chapter VII: Where has The Time Gone?

What’s happening to me? Where the fuck am I? God it’s cold in this motherfucker. My arms, I can’t move my arms. Where’d this jacket come from? No, no no no, Dev! Storm! Help! Help! HELP ME! HELP!!!!!!!!!”

I don’t really remember falling asleep that night, I thought I was awake this whole time talking to her, but I had passed out by my door, well outside of it. Was I guarding Storm? Had to have been. I can’t recall where the past few hours have gone at all. Probably was scared something would happen to her. I couldn’t bare that thought. Ya that makes sense as to why I was asleep here. So when I rolled over and saw her doing her best to sit next to me, I was in shock. Who’s supposed to guard who here? I’m supposed to protect her, not the other.......

“You were screaming in your sleep again Tox. It didn’t scare me but it scared me for you.”

I couldn’t recall my nightmare being that bad but she was shaking a bit as she put her left hand on my side, patting it, probably trying to keep the impending hyperventilation down or preventing it. All I could think of was a line out a song I heard, “God Is A Gun And The Bullets Are Free”. The time is slipping, i’m losing track. What day was it, what time? I can feel the panic rushing and creeping in to my bones. Why does she seem so calm but yet I am a wreck? Storm notices this and she pry's herself into my arms, can she sense I needed someone to love at the moment? Fuck, I am broken.

“Hey, can I ask you a question?”

“Ya Tox, what is it?”

“How long have I been asleep?”

She had a puzzled look on her face, it was one of concern to me but more like a “you don’t remember?” kind of look. I’m sure she thought it was a dumbass question but when your on drugs all the time, it’s easy to forget; holidays, anniversaries, homework, hell even fucking birthdays get forgotten because your not thinking of everyone else, only yourself. Everything else gets the big fuck you. So when she cocked her head to the side I wasn’t surprised one damn bit.

“Dev carried you to bed. You helped me get my stuff in here, in your house then once you finished, you collapsed outside my door. Your brother said to let you sleep cause you weren’t dead, you were snoring.”

Fucking hell, that was a first for me. For some reason I had this weird song stuck in my head, the lyrics were weird. It was the end of the song that stuck with me.

“‘ Can you believe the outcome? Now I'm asking you God, "How come?’“

God how I wished I could kiss her right now, but that’d be weird. She was my crush and that was a fact. The moment didn’t feel right at all. The straight jacket, was that my mind handicapping me, myself stopping me from trying to get clean and better? I had my fucking dream girl here in my home and I had every reason to try and get clean but what the fuck was stopping me? 

IT WAS ME

[devilsbedstory]

Chapter VI: God Is A Gun, I Can Prove It

There was a happier time once right? A time where families can be together, no drugs, no broken house to live in, no sadness, no fucked up days, no worrying how your gonna get food without cops being called or how your gonna get your next fix. Surely there has to be a better orgin story then this goddamn shit. Sadly though, there was nothing better for me. It was the biggest fuck you I’ve ever had. God is a gun and I can prove it. I had to be about six years old one day when Devil came home, he was coming from school and he always played with me. Feels fucking weird to admit that. Dad was at work, or so we had thought. Mom got a phone call and immediately she told my big brother to watch me. He wasn’t even fucking ten yet and he got tasked with watching over me all by himself as Mom grabbed her keys and shit and fled the house.

The cops had told her that Dad had went in for his graveyard shift that night and pulled a .45 out and shot himself in the head. The suicide note had said he either killed himself there or he’d murder us so he was protecting us from his demons. Fuck his demons, I wanted my dad goddammit. 

“Now the writing's on a wall It won't go away It's an omen You just run on automation”

It wasn’t to long after that Devil had gotten turned on to some stuff that upset Mom. He was always coming home smelling of stuff that didn’t please her. He’d lie and say it was cause he hadn’t showered in a few days (which would be absolutely fucking disgusting if it were true) but she wouldn’t have it. The day he turned sixteen, Mom had told him to watch his eleven (my birthday hadn’t came yet) year old brother, she was grocery shopping. He wasn’t stupid, they fought all the time. He was already on the drugs bad at this point, I hadn’t started yet. What was odd was that her car was already full of grocery boxes, why did she need to go to the store for? Well whatever her reason was, that was the last time my fucking family was together. We had heard through the grapevine from others that she found religion and condemned us both and damned us to hell. Fuck you to. Goddamn motherfucking religious cunts, I hate them all. 

As I helped Storm get her stuff out of the car, I couldn’t help but think about what Devil had done and why did I have to use the knuckles? Those brass fuckers. This all felt like a fucked up dream. Like a commercial dream of my life with this being the longest break ever. So now it was time to get back to my shitty life as I helped Storm from the back seat, but I decided to do something that married people did and I was doing it to make it easier on her.

I picked her up off of her feet and into my arms as I saw her face. She had never seen my house before. It looked like an old Victorian Gothic style house but made out of wood  and concrete. Vines grew up everywhere, lights barely worked cause the sockets were older then shit but the electrical sockets to plug shit in worked perfectly. It was three floors. It was amazing. Plenty of room for her and me.

I know the feeling Of finding yourself stuck out on the ledge And there ain't no healing From cuttin' yourself with the jagged edge I'm tellin' you that it's never that bad And take it from someone who's been where your at You're laid out on the floor and you're not sure You can take this anymore

Ok, really it was a piece of shit but it was home to me and Devil. Had been for years, even after Mum and Da left. So, why was I all of a sudden sickened to my stomach? Was it because she now knew some of my very low lows or was it because I was embarrassed she saw where I lived? Devil came out and helped get her bags as I carried her into the house, up those long ass plantation like steps as she let out a long exhaustive sigh as I spoke to her

“Welcome to your new home Storm. It’s not much to you but it is to me.”

[devilsbedstory]

Chapter V: I’m No Good

So after a drive, we finally got to our house but to explain it would take some explaining. Ok, you ever seen that movie Fight Club? You know the house that Brad Pitt’s guy lives in, where he supposedly makes his soap at? That big ole broken down piece of shit? Ok so imagine that except it didn’t leak when it rained nor did the basement flood but everything else was just almost as fucking bad.

“There's something about you, I can not explain I just want to know you, I just want to know your name It's not what you said, Not the way you said it I'm under your spell and I don't regret it”

So as I killed the engine in the car, Devil leaned over the back seat, I could smell the heroin on him, as I know he was trying his hardest to be my guardian in a way but fuck man, don’t expose her to this. Well, how did he know she’d be in this hot car right now, this very moment, here near night time as the sun was starting to go down early for some odd ass reason. Maybe I was losing track of time again, that often happened to me. No one could explain it to me.

“Love is like a sin, my love, For the ones that feel it the most Look at her with her eyes like a flame She will love you like a fly will never love you again”

Devil got out of the car by climbing over the driver’s seat and exiting as I got back in right after he got out and sat in that driver’s seat, I stared a hole into the steeling wheel as I was just in complete disseray as Storm looked over at me and she sighed

“Tox, you gonna be ok?”

Was I gonna be ok? Why would she ask me that? I hadn’t shot up in a couple of hours. Here was a better question, why the fuck was I shaking so badly? What the fuck was wrong with me? Why was my heart soaring so goddamn fast? Oh this felt like...............dying

[devilsbedstory]

Chapter IV: GWAID

As she looked at me, those eyes, that peace I long sought after for years, finally came to me as she took her eyes out of my gaze and looked at her father as Devil came up and looked at us as he shook his head. He had a really nasty temper, did I mention that so when her father started to squirm away, he placed his foot on her dad’s throat and put a little force down

“And just where the fuck do you think your going? Women and children first faggot!”

Her dad was gasping to say words as he saw me grabbing her bags that she had packed cause apparently she was running away anyways as Devil saw me finally make it to the bottom as he stepped a little harder

“Next time I see you, I will break your wind pipe. She’s coming to live with us. Show up and i’ll gut you like the filthy pig you are.”

I can't escape the tragedy that always brings me down If I could eliminate those things that make me frown Take all the baggage that follows me around And just disintegrate burn it to the ground

So we finally made our way down to the car as Devil had helped her down the stairs inside and out as she came up to me the best she could on her crutches and smiled

“Thank you Toxie, I really appreciate it”

Then she did something that surprised even me. She kissed me but by the time she started to pull back, she noticed Kittie’s goodbye present to my face

“Oh my god, who did this Tox?”

“Yea little brother, tell her who really owns you and did that to your face!”

Bastard. She didn’t own me, well, I don’t know. I mean I loved her at one point right? Before it became just about the heroin trips with the coke and meth sidekicks joining in. There used to be a loving side to us. I mean the sex was unbelievable and the passionate kisses and ok maybe she did own my ass. Goddammit. 

So I helped Storm into the front passenger seat after Devil had taken the back seat and once they were settled in, I got in the driver’s seat and we was off. For some reason, there was this question keep coming to my head. “Great, what am I doing?” I didn’t know the answer to that particular question but all I knew was that for me to make sure she was safe, she had to stay by my side. Ok, so I was protecting her, like a boyfriend would. And maybe I loved her, OH MY GOD WHAT AM I DOING!

[devilsbedstory]

Chapter III: Wish

So where did my world seem like it came to a crash? Well Mum hated how her two sons were always worried bout their next high and i know Da would rather us be dead so truth was we were just as broken a family as anyone else’s and Da’s suicide didn’t help much either at all. So what could we do? That was my thought as we were about to be driving towards our broken down two story house until i felt my phone vibrating.

"TEXT MESSAGE FROM STORM"

Wow that was new. She never texted at all. Let alone how’d she get my number? Maybe from Devil cause we both knew that he was the one who pulled the woman and I just had to watch and learn so when I opened it, it clearly just read

"Hey Toxin, ummm, can you come by my house please. I need help. My father is drunk again and I am hiding from him. I don't know what he's going do"

"It's a fucked up world What do you get? Sex and love and guns, light a cigarette It’s a fucked up world What do you get from it? Sex and love and guns, light a cigarette"

So as we walked back to the car, I closed my phone and I looked at Devil, and motioned for the keys, as I was wanting to drive to her house. At first he didn't budge but when I told him it was important to me to go help her, well, he never did refuse to make someone bleed. So he forked over the keys and I slid into my seat and slammed the door as I turned the engine over and with a little fun of peeling out and making mud fly, as I drove eighty-MPH to her house, cutting a forty-five minute drive to just under ten. The snake like turns, the black knuckle driving I did, reminded me why I loved this shit!

So after some of my driving, we pulled up to her house, blaring "Slaughtered" by Pantera, her father went to the door and slammed it shut, so lord only knows what he was trying to do as I looked in the center console and got my brass knuckles out and looked at Devil and shook my head.

"I got this big brother"

So with that silent nod of approval, he got in the back seat and I slammed the door, and far as I an tell, I was seeing black. I went up the steps and got to the door to hear Storm screaming up the stairs inside as I put my foot next to the door handle, brought it back and kicked it off the hinges as hard as I could. The next few seconds were some of the angriest moments I ever had as I heard her screaming from her room upstairs so I ran and I saw her father, butt arse naked standing at her door, pounding on it like he was Kong at The Gates and I just couldn't take it so I walked up quietly behind him, seeing as how he didn't notice me earlier and stood behind him and just one brass punch to the back of his head, got him to stop but for some reason, I couldn't quit after his body thudded to the ground, and so I kept hitting him and hitting him, eventually almost killing him as Storm opened the door and she looked on in freight as she pulls me off the best she can, sliding on the floor next to me, holding me, seeing me shake, whispering to me

"Tox, it's ok. Please, put the brass knuckle back in your pocket. Calm down. Your gonna be fine"

It amazes me after what was about to happen that she could restrain her emotions enough to calm me. And as I looked on into her eyes, I noticed something I had not seen before in my life. That sight was peace.

[devilsbedstory]

Chapter II: $k!n

The bus was making the stop. After about a forty-five minute drive, I had already smoked about three cigarettes. What? I was a goddamn chain smoker after all so pft. The bus driver opened the doors as Kittie got off first, while I made my way from the back. The looks from the kids, especially the seniors and juniors who had to sit up from could have killed if it wasn't for the fact that I had a feeling they'd be fighting over my corpse after Kittie had her way.

So we got off and as the bus pulled away with that nasty sound that to me meant the engine was about to go, I felt a set of finger nails scrap my face. There was a reason I called her Kittie. She fought like a cat from hell. When I raised my hand up to feel the blood, what very little of it there was, she started her fucking yelling at me. "I can't believe this, I can't believe that, blah blah hoopity who-gave-a-fucking-shit" was all that went through my head until she asked the question that I had been waiting for.

"Toxin, don't you fucking love me anymore? I mean, what's happened to us?"

Should I be honest or lie? One of those hard goddamn questions that I usually answered with a coin flip but I didn't have a coin so I flipped it in my head. Heads, lie. Tails, truth. Well she never would give head anyways so why would today be any different when it landed tails in my head.

"You wanna know what happened to us? Is that the fucking question. Hmm let me see. You got clean, left me out to dry with your preppy popular cock-sucking friends who wouldn't give two shits about you if it wasn't for the money. I tried to get clean off the smack but you just never wanted to give me a chance and it hurts. I mean for the love of Ares hun, go get a fucking lifer and wake up. Oh and when you wake up to reality, cut off the puppeteer strings and  live life how you want. Not how the fuck they want douchebag!"

Could that have gone any worst? Yea it could have and it did. She punched me in the face and was about to throw me in the river until someone pulled up and ran behind her and punched the back of her skull.

"Bitch, you let my fucking brother go now or I swear to God, your parents are gonna be throwing me in jail."

That was typical Devil, when he was high he loved me and protected me but when he wasn't, he used me for a punching bag. I mean don't get me wrong, he was high all the time just about off of smack, coke and meth but it was when he wasn't that I typically locked myself in the basement of our shitty house and stayed there.

"I can't erase this feelin' I can't escape And now I'm lying on the floor And I really need to find the answers Lying on the floor 'Cause I've given every piece of me And I'm breathing"

So when she finally let me go and Devil tossed her by her arm towards her way home, she started to leave. He looked dead straight at me and cocked his head, looking at the scratch marked blood stains. He got mad but not to out-of-control where I couldn't handle him.

"Devil, calm the fuck down. It's all ok. It's nothing more than a flesh wound in reality."

 He shook his head and punched the side of his 69` Chevelle. It was a thing of beauty. Black with Red racing stripes. Ok so technically it wasn't his. He always refused how to tell me how he got such beautiful performing cars but my thinking was that he was stealing them which wouldn't have surprised me at all. The only thing we could do now was head to the house and eat like the broken family we were.

[devilsbedstory]

Chapter I: Pray For Me

The girl of my dreams, she was just under 5'6', weighed about 20.92 Stones (293 Lbs). She had these two beautiful baby blue eyes, one leg, huge breast, and a gorgeous smile. The newspaper had mentioned once that she lost her left leg in an automobile accident. Her fucking deadbeat parents didn't wanna pay for a prosthetic leg but they paid for her to have crutches. Yea, real great fucking job.

This was the girl some saw as a freak, sex object, or a toy. I saw her as the most perfect, imperfect, dark engel on earth. Oh shit, we never formal introduced each other huh? Well fuck that. For all your gonna know, you can call me Toxin and I live in Drugieville and go to school at Whore-Monger, Slut-Fucking, Drugie-Hangout-High also known as Toxin's Hell Hole. Fucking perfect place to raise a child huh?

"Don't give up, it takes a while I have seen this look before And it's alright You're not alone"

I guess you can say I am not perfect material as far as being the good guy is concerned. Truth is, I don't even fucking know what being the good guy is supposed to mean. I don't even know what emotions are about. Truth is, I wish my dream girl even noticed me. But no, she's one of those preppy people although she's an outcast cause no one thinks she's beautiful anymore. Well fuck what the fuck they think right? Oh yea, her name is Storm but her real name is Lizzie. I prefer Storm actually, seems different. She wasn't always broken, she was perfect and healthy once. Oh how much I wanna be hers.

Anyways, walking up the steps to my bus to go home, I see our futbol team gearing themselves up for the huge fixture tonight against our rivals, London Academy. Fucking private schools can suck a dick for all I care. They have all these rules and regulations about how the world should be. Maybe a few of their cheerleaders can blow me, haha.

Anyways, I made my way to the backseat on the right. You know, the one-seater where you don't have to share with anyone else. I fucking love that seat. Many a mornings and afternoons of naps and cigarette smoking took place there. Ahh, good times. I would've been happy today except some douchebag was already in my seat. Fucking assholes. So I sat in the left seat that was the two-seater and laid down. I was gonna go to sleep until I heard the jeers of some people up front and that's when I noticed her. Storm was on my bus and she was trying her best to make it to the middle section. Oh she's so beautiful man.

"All I see inside is a longing for something that's outside This understanding of the sun breaking open And it shines over me, shines over me"

I hated my own life but I couldn't imagine how it was for her. Anyways, I took out a cigarette and held it up for my bus driver to see so I could know if I could light up. She gave that weird ass motion with her mouth that let me know that it was ok. Apparently, she didn't have her mid-day nap and she still had to bring our futbol team to play London Academy tonight. How is it that my bus driver understands me better than my own fucking family?

The way the tires peeled off, I could tell this was gonna be a long drive. I would've been asleep had my fucking phone not gone off on vibrate. So as I struggled to get my cut-off hand-cuff-zipper jeans open, it vibrated again. I finally got my phone out and noticed it said I had two messages which I already knew but who it was from wasn't my favorite part of seeing. It was from Kittie, my girlfriend. Great the fuck did she want as I opened it up and read the messages.

"Toxie, can you get off at my stop. We need to talk"

"Toxin, are you gonna get off with me or not asshole? It's fucking important! So you better get off!"

Fuck, I wasn't gonna get out of this. So I decided I may as well. I texted her back off my blackberry pearl flip with the Monster Import sticker on the back.

"Yea yea, I fucking heard you. I will but understand, Dev's gonna be there so if you start shit with me again, I am fucking leaving and it'll be the end of us cause I am sick of your goddamn bullshit Kit!"

 "I am a man on a mission 
come to hunt you and beat you into submission 
In the end you will be the one who is wishing…. 
It’s over Now feel the anger beginning 
As it rises inside I’m caught up within it
 You can run you can hide but I won’t forget it
 …I’ll find you"

I put my phone back in my pocket and I came close to hitting the back of the seat in front of me. She wins every time. So gets under my goddamn skin so easily that it is almost pathetic. So what was an asshole to do? Like Dev says, never get mad nor even. Get ahead of the curve"

[devilsbedstory]

Intro: This Is Gonna Fucking Hurt

Dear Reader,

You might be wondering why someone as fucked up as me is writing a book. Well to be honest, I don't even fucking know so maybe I just wanted to tell my story of a punk/young adult in a fucked up world. This is strongly inspired by my own life and some music from bands I love and that I have also written. So sit the fuck back and enjoy Devil's Bed.

P.S.:If this motherfucker had a rating, it'd probably be NC-17 or X but why do I care? Its not like you'd actually like it.