desolate-honeycomb

[desolate-honeycomb]

I’m pretty sure that I failed my math test the day after I got yelled at for having bad test scores so I guess it’s time to cry in the media center :)

Sh looks so appeasing rn ☺️

It’s that time of the depression episode guys!! Time to sleep for 24 hours 2 days in a row and have it somehow fix my issues

And then in 2 weeks I’ll be super happy again..but next week it’s right back to it :)

[desolate-honeycomb]

Yummy carrot recipe

I LOVE CARROTS NOWW !!

Need: air fryer, boiling water, seasonings probably

Ingredients: 10 baby carrots (35 kcal), salt and garlic powder or garlic salt seasoning, a little lemon juice.

Boil the baby carrots for 5 minutes. Let the water boil, and then put the carrots in.

Season and toss with lemon juice (NOT ALOT)

Air fry the carrots at 380 f* for 10 minutes.

OM NOM NOM SOFT YUMMY CARROTS

[desolate-honeycomb]

My most evil and masterful evil plot yet

I have a school break soon sadly. (No more daily 24 h fasts 🥺)

So, since I’ve been binging due to my period, I’m doing the fix it fast diet:

THE DIET HAS BEEN REPOSTED SO MANY TIMES THAT IT’S FRIED. The 100-150 calories used to be 400 and 450 but I’ll ignore that and do 100 and 150. Basically this ancient photograph says..fast, 200, 250, 300, 350, 100( or 400), 150 (or 450), 500, mono, 500.

And here’s my diet for the break.

If it’s too fried:

1. 600

2. 700

3. 750

4. 600

5. 500

6. 550

7. 400

8. 600

9. 750

10. 460

11. 400

12. 600

13. 700

14. 650

15. 1000

16. 900

17. 400

18. 300

19. 450

20. 670

[desolate-honeycomb]

I don’t like being a performer :(

I’m ever so slightly autistic so I need to be told about things atleast 2 weeks before they happen or else I’ll be overwhelmed by the tiniest things and think about self deletion.

I didn’t know that the piano teacher was just going to pick people to do songs for our next performance I thought we had to audition or something— which I mean we had a mock recital with only the class but now I’m in tomorrow’s performance and I just learned that TODAY which as you can tell is very stressful and I almost cried while talking to him about it BUT I HELD IT IN 😤

I won’t be looking next time I cross the street though just incase a heavy motorized vehicle is my savior.

[desolate-honeycomb]

what’s on my mind 24/7:

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　 　˚　　　　 . ★⋆.

　　　.   　　˚　　 　　*　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　 　˚　　　　 . ★⋆. ࿐࿔

　　　.   　　˚　　 　　*　　 　　✦　　　.　　.　　　✦　˚ 　　　　 ˚　.˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　 　　 　　　

[desolate-honeycomb]

Dear mirror on the wall...

You showed me every inch of fat

You showed me every flaw

I woke up in the morning

Hating what I saw

Another day was to come

A day I wished to die

Cause the person you showed me

She was only a lie

I wish I would've shattered you

I wish I didn't look

The child I used to be

Was the innocence you took

I starved myself all for you

While you fed on my soul

I wondered what I had to do

To stop the evil words you told

This child once filled with love

You mirrored with pure hate

What did this child do to you

To deserve this ugly fate

You broke me into pieces

I wish you were broken instead

Cause after all this time, even today

You're still stuck in my head

[desolate-honeycomb]

tw: p*rg3 talk

Okay so like- I overate (I had a bowl of oatmeal) and I p*rg3d it out before getting on the treadmill and my p*rging came up blank after something coming up twice?? It was just a watery liquid..should I keep going? I did it again and I came up blank twice. I ate 130 g of stuff. WHERE DID IT GO? I p*rg3d within 5-7 minutes of eating it..

[desolate-honeycomb]

I deleted some of my recent posts because I’m considering taking a step back from tumblr and instead focusing on the people around me like my best friend and my family. Of course I may post maybe once a week or every week or two with my progress, but those updates won’t be 300 posts in one month. Its unhealthy for me to do this. (By this I mean posting like a maniac not my ed we ignore that lmao) this isn’t goodbye but this is a see you soon. <3

further explanation: I feel my mental health slipping away from me. It’s like I’ve begun living for others and the likes on a post instead of myself and broadcasting my mistakes and shortcomings to so many people that I hurt myself even more trying to fit in and seem perfect. To make up for my mistakes..and it hasn’t done me well at all. Perhaps I’m a private person for a reason. I don’t regret making friends here, but what I do regret is what I’ve let it turn me into. My calories get lower and lower and it’s only because I feel pressured by an invisible person that doesn’t exist. I know that you are all good people and that since we’re all struggling with the same thing you wouldn’t force me to go on another diet, or to lower my calorie intake to -300. You encourage me to be kind with myself, but I struggle to do that when I’m in contact with the outside world. I suck at socializing, and though I’m more comfortable online that fact doesn’t change.

[desolate-honeycomb]

wtf 😭

[desolate-honeycomb]

I exercised !!

I’ve burned 600 calories today :>

I also did weight lifting but I didn’t have my watch on :)

[desolate-honeycomb]

I can’t wait until next Wednesday. I won’t weigh myself until then because of my stupid period. Anyway, I decided to burn 600 calories today instead of just 500. Brb with my exercise information <3

[desolate-honeycomb]

Tea 🥹

[desolate-honeycomb]

Update: 😀

I’ve had 870 calories today, and I’m burning 500. Today was NOT nutrient dense I had one slice of pizza, 2 brownies, and specifically 45 pretzel sticks (I counted them all), along with some onion dip worth less than 50 calories

😭 idk how that all fit into 870 calories

Junorexics for the win 😎

(I’m clean eating next week, which means hopefully NO EATING AT ALL)

(That was totally my best joke ever)

[desolate-honeycomb]

Update: 😭

We’re having pizza today..so to make up for it I burned 200 more calories :D

That should make up for one slice. I’ll burn 140 calories after I eat too.

This was an AMAZING workout it felt nice despite my empty stomach from my fast.

[desolate-honeycomb]

😱😱😱😱🫵🫵🫵🙌🙌🙌🙌👍👍😎😎😎🔥🔥🔥🔥🗿🗿🗿🥰🥰😂🥺😂😦🤠💀😭😭🙂🙂🙂🙂😦😂

I’m so annoying lmao 😭

[desolate-honeycomb]

Need a little help

[desolate-honeycomb]

The people that hurt me are popular and loved by others, so maybe I should be the one to disappear?

Don’t worry I’m probably not going to commit. As if someone would be worried 💀 emo ahh post

I’m not even skinny enough to be emo.