depressedanxiousandcreative

[depressedanxiousandcreative]

Zero Two: Listen, darling, in this world, it’s either yeet or be yeeted. 

Hiro: I’m literally begging you to stop. 

[depressedanxiousandcreative]

Ikuno: If your eyes start hurting, what you’ve got to do is lay down and close them for a while... now that's a sexy little manoeuvre that those in the medical field like to call “sleep”.

Hiro: I was hoping you’d call it “death”.

Ikuno [holding a gun]: It wasn't the plan, but that can be arranged.

[depressedanxiousandcreative]

Hiro: It’s been a tough year.

Zero Two: It’s the first week of January.

Hiro: Your point?

[depressedanxiousandcreative]

Miku: Zorome, no.

Zorome: Zorome, YES!

Ichigo: Zorome, no!

Zorome: Zorome, maybe...

Ikuno: Zorome, NO!

Zorome: Zorome, no.

Zero Two: Zorome, yes.

Zorome: ZOROME, HELL TO THE FUCKING YES!

[depressedanxiousandcreative]

Computer: Your password is weak.

Zero Two: You’re the weak one. You’ll never know love, or friendship. I feel sorry for you.

[depressedanxiousandcreative]

Mitsuru: Y’all think when I type LMSO, it’s a typo. Nope. Laugh my sarcasm out. 

Mitsuru: I laughed so hard I momentarily stopped being a dick. 

[depressedanxiousandcreative]

Mitsuru: There are no rules saying New Year’s resolutions can’t be for evil.

[depressedanxiousandcreative]

Hiro: *Crying*

Zero Two: Darling, what’s the matter?

Hiro: I’m fine, it’s just these onions. 

Zero Two [holding knife to the onions]: What the fuck did you do to my darling?

Zero Two: *Starts crying*

Zero Two: Darling, how are these onions hurting me??

[depressedanxiousandcreative]

Before meeting Zero Two.

Kokoro: You’re offered a hundred pounds, but if you accept it, the person you hate most in the world gets two hundred pounds. Are you taking it?

Hiro: Yeah, why wouldn't I want three hundred pounds?

[depressedanxiousandcreative]

Zero Two: My time with the nines holds a lot of memories for me. Some bad, some...

Zero Two: No, no, all bad.

[depressedanxiousandcreative]

Nine Delta [drawing sword]: My only request is to be granted a warrior’s death in single combat. 

Zero Two [over music]: What, no, like songs man-

[depressedanxiousandcreative]

Hiro: Bite me. 

Mitsuru: Only if you ask nicely.

Hiro: What?

Mitsuru: What?

[depressedanxiousandcreative]

APE: *Makes any complaint against Doctor Franxx’s methods*

Dr Franxx: That sounds like a ‘you’ problem.

[depressedanxiousandcreative]

Goro: I hate to go all ballistic, but it has NOT been a pleasure meeting you.

[depressedanxiousandcreative]

Zorome: A cut? More like an extra pocket.

The rest of squad 13: Um, NO?!

[depressedanxiousandcreative]

Goro: I’m partially glad I’m not rich. If I had an infinite surplus of money I’d certainly have eaten myself to death on white chocolate Resse’s Cups by age 14. 

Futoshi: So dying a warrior’s death means nothing to you?

[depressedanxiousandcreative]

Miku: Zorome?

Zorome [guessing what she’ll say]: Shut... up. 

Miku: Got it in one.