depressed-as-f

[depressed-as-f]

Congratulations anti endos, you're driving another system out of the online space with your utter hatred. Is that what you wanted?

You're ruining the name of diagnosed systems and systems with trauma, and you're making all of us scared of being fake claimed by you. You're polluting the traumagenic tags.

Yeah, we need our own spaces, but I won't be in a traumagenic space run by y'all. Why do you care so much about other systems? You've got your own to deal with. Fuck you.

(tags for reach, we are not disclosing our stance)

[depressed-as-f]

We probably all broke but I'm trying to help my friend raise enough money for a binder. If you can't donate, please signal boost :)

https://gofund.me/3ea807cf

[depressed-as-f]

I wanna cut with scissors cause I don't have any sharpener blades left. Are they any good?

[depressed-as-f]

I really wanna do it I wanna do it really wanna do it

[depressed-as-f]

An internet friend hasn't told me her name. I'm not mad at her or anything, and I'd never pressure her to tell me, but you think that would give me a clue that she doesn't want and yearn for me the way I do for her.

I wrote "did" there for a sec, changed it cause I still do. It still hurts. I'd give up all of this in a heartbeat to just be a normal friend. Someone she plays games with online. Someone who can buy her proper presents on her birthday. And I'd visit her house with a card game and Doritos and she'd introduce me to her other friends and we'd have a good time together.

Another thing to grieve for...

[depressed-as-f]

A post for creative (and maybe bored) Littles!!

1. Make your own stuffy!

2. Make your own stuffy (no sewing)

3. Make clothes for your stuffies!

4. Learn some origami!

5. Make a dollhouse (type 1)

6. Make a dollhouse (type 2)

7. Make a fort

8. Make an adult babygro/onesie

9. Learn to make playdoh!

10. Make an awesome Harry Potter wand!

11. Make a marshmellow gun/shooter

12. Sew your own cute diapers!

13. Make adorable paci clips!

14. Make your own sleepsuit/kigurumi/onesie

15. Make some cute bibs! (free patterns!)

16. Make cute booties!

[depressed-as-f]

Idk why I expected people on my nondepresso to care about my sh. They care more about emojis haha. But at least I'm making a difference ...right?

[depressed-as-f]

Dis me. I did something and you can do something too. Even if it does jack shit, just do it to prove to yourself that you can.

Trigger warning // getting over self harm

Ik most people won't see this or read this, but I would like to tell someone so it feels like more of an accomplishment. I chucked away my blades and tools in a bag of used cat litter so there's no way I can get them back. I did it one last time, and now they're gone.

I'm not telling myself I'm gonna be clean for good. I'm not tracking my clean streak because it makes me feel shit. But I fucking did something.

I got the Devil again in a tarot reading. The last time I got this card, it was upright, this time, it was reversed. I felt I had a strength in me to make a change, supported by Seto and Jewel and my new therian pack and of course, my pinetree (💟 I'm so excited to see you again). Don't get me wrong, it's prob not gonna do shit but I did it ;v;

🌿 A photo from my den 🌿

You did something right. I'm writing this as a reminder that you are capable of that. That this is the third time you've chucked out your blades and that means you're three times as strong because it's hard to do that on your own.

[depressed-as-f]

Me: * stops self harming cause medication takes away the happy buzz *

Doctors: Medication isn't the be-all and end-all. It doesn't change your thoughts.

Me: * remembers that I still love self harm *

Doctors:

[depressed-as-f]

You're a fat little pig

[depressed-as-f]

Me: trying to relax, get into little space, enjoy myself

* remembers a tiny little thing *

Anxiety: I'm about to ruin this man's whole career

[depressed-as-f]

Creative Agere Things To Do!

🍁Colour with chalk on the sidewalk/driveway!

🍁Build fairy houses with stuff you find outside!

🍁Take pictures of your toys outside!

🍁Do leaf rubbings, where you put a piece of paper over a leaf and rub it with a crayon to get a cool picture!

🍁Get a pumpkin and turn it into a jack-o-lantern!

🍁Make flower crowns!

🍁Collect some rocks and put them into a shape!

🍁Draw some comics!

🍁Make paper beads and make them into jewellery!

🍁Make a time capsule!

[depressed-as-f]

My eating disorder is the only thing giving me purpose. Why would I want to give up now?

[depressed-as-f]

Tw // eating disorder rant

So I decided to do a metabolism day. Contemplating my disordered eating after around 3 months of it. Focusing on the idea of self care. Making myself a hot chocolate, and mum asks what I'm having. When I tell her it's hot chocolate, she sort of laughs and says sarcastically "that's very good for you."

I started all this so she'd shut up with the food comments while being too anxious to say anything to her face for fear of 'taking it out of context' or being a 'drama queen". Because they hurt, and made me start thinking I wasn't eating right, I wasn't being "healthy" enough. It just spiralled so fast and it seems if I don't keep up with this, the comments will come straight back. I never realised how much I cared what she actually says about me. The different ways it feels I don't look good enough.

I really wish my family were all gone sometimes. my days are much better without them

[depressed-as-f]

Aaaa

We going for 24 hour fast! Everyone will be out of the house, meaning I can fake dinner and go to bed early. I've never been able to pull one before but tonight is my night ✨

1 like = 1 extra hour of fasting

[depressed-as-f]

Personal Goal Tracker

Just a little thing for me~

tw// weight, measurements, disordered eating

⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺

55kg 😐

Starting measurements:

Weight: 63kg

Waist: 71.5cm

Lower thigh: 56cm

⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺

Goal measurements:

Weight:

54kg 🙂

53kg 😊

52kg 😍

51kg 🤩

50kg [GW2] 🤯

Waist:

63cm 😐

62cm 😐

61cm 😊

60cm 😍

59cm 🤩

58cm 🤯

57cm 🤯

56cm 🤯

55cm 🤯

Lower thigh:

51cm 😐

50cm 😊

49cm

48cm

Thigh gap w/ knees together 😍

47cm

46cm

45cm

[depressed-as-f]

I think I'm gonna go for 30-31 hours and end around 7:00pm (unless I can fake some more cramps and manage 36-48+ HOURS

I wish I could do this more often it feels so good ❤️

I'm sending good vibes for all of you fasting too~

We going for 24 hour fast! Everyone will be out of the house, meaning I can fake dinner and go to bed early. I've never been able to pull one before but tonight is my night ✨

1 like = 1 extra hour of fasting