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some notable catchphrases of 2013:

bitch I might be

do she got the booty ? she doooooooooo ! 

swiggity swag

the D

wen u mom com home and make hte spagehti

“ hello______, im dad “ 

AYYY LMAO

W R I T I N G  I N T E N S E  W O R D S  L I K E  T H I S 

 perfect _____ don’t exis-

And now, the weather

at least 2 potato

we’ve come full circle ! 

life hack :

[ __________ INTENSIFIES]

so many

such doge. much wow. very smile. 

mahogany 

*sweats nervously*

same. 

spooper hot choclety milk

#SHERLOCKLIVES

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my mum was googling for an article about why everyone in the lord of the rings film is white (like to be clear she was annoyed by this) and the google ai was apparently like “everybody in the lord of the rings is not white. gandalf is grey.”

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hey folks if you have an android phone: google shadow installed a "security app".

I had to go and delete it myself this morning.

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i really think rose quartz is the voice of our times she was suicidal she was bisexual she was a libra she was fat she was horny all the time she was pink she went to war against herself she fumbles people who demand emotional intimacy from her she has a very loose grip on reality she loves everything and hates herself she somehow has mommy issues despite belonging to a species where mothers do not exist her boobs are self-made she was into soundcloud rappers she has committed identity theft and a hundred other war crimes she has several pet lions one of which is a zombie and she couldn’t break out of herself. peace and love on planet girl

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you are 16. you are talking with a gay man in his 50s or 60s, a friend, huge and gentle with a scarf and short fluffy curls of gray hair, who has directed you in two plays staged in your mid-size artsy town. (he has not yet asked you to be in his production of The Laramie Project which will change your life. this conversation will also change your life.)

he is talking about theatre. he is talking about theatre when he was younger. he says, "of course, it was AIDS then." in the pause, you ask him. clumsy and quiet and 16 and "straight," you ask him. what was it like.

he takes a moment in which his face is not like a person's face. "there was a time," he says, "i'm not sure how long, years. when i went to a funeral every weekend." he tells you about two funerals in a day, and choosing between friends when you couldn't make it to both. he does not look at you, he looks at them. his wet grey gaze is so clear that you start to see ghosts. it will be years before you understand why it feels like your grief too. why the ghosts call you family.

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imagine if people still took last names from their trade like fisher, smith and fletcher. imagine some guy introducing himself to you as jonathan podcaster

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I am so, so sure that my cousin meant to type something else, but I'm going to cry. Welcome to my bathroom themed bathroom... Pictures of other people's bathrooms on the walls... Little bathtub figurines on the sink... Soap dispenser shaped like a toilet... Life could be a dream... in my bathroom themed bathroom...

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Poob has it for you

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Went to get my hair cut and my non-binary stylist was telling me about a retirement community in town that's exclusively for queer people over 60, which has volunteer events.

And they went to volunteer and they met a 74-year-old non-binary person, and my stylist was like "!!! 😮 I've never met a fellow enby so old!! 😭" and the 74-year-old was like "!!! 😮 I've never met a fellow enby so young!! 😭" and they sat and had lunch and talked for 3 hours.

And like. Idk man. The beauty of intergenerational connection and friendship and supporting one another, ya know? I can't articulate how that story made me feel