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Shameless selfie for the last night in Boston

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Shipping off to Boston ✌🏽

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Someone got a little excited about playing in the grass

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First mlb game of the season! #redsox vs #whitesox

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I want to write more. I want to read more. I want to be more inspired to write about things. and, I want to take my life back into my own hands. I crave feeling the control that is now just a faded memory of a different me, years ago. even that though, even then, I question how in control I really actually was. 

The antidepressants are working, and I can feel motivation flooding back into me. I can feel energy I didn’t know I could have and the drive to use it. 

I want to be mindful when I eat, and eat because I’m hungry. I want to be proud of my body. I want to be in a relationship with myself, infatuated even.

that is what I want

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That face when tomorrow is Friday! #tgif

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#lunchbreak

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Everyone won’t understand your journey. That’s ok, it’s not for them.

(via words-of-emotion)

  (via

words-of-emotion

)

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Thats ok, I love your blog and how real you are! I'm sorry you are struggling but I know you can make it out xx

I really appreciate this ❤️

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Yesterday was one of the hardest days I’ve had yet. I was just a ball of side effects from this medication. I’d cycle through headaches, panic attacks, my head just being..fuzzy..if that makes sense? And then it’d loop back around again. Over and over. My body image was and has been crap. It was just hard. But I had set one goal for myself yesterday. Take care of my body. Do whats right for it. This mantra got me through a lot. From avoiding a binge, to general snacking, to mindful eating. It had been my plan to go to the gym that night while my boyfriend recorded a podcast, but my motivation was shot. After dinner, I told myself, all you have to do is go there. Even if you check in and turn around and leave. Just do what you promised yourself you would do. So I went, and walked for 30 minutes at 2.7 and watched baseball, and another 20 minutes slow on a bike. A big part of me wants to beat myself up, what was the point? I didn’t even break a sweat? But, no. the point was this. I got out, I moved. I followed through with myself. I took care of my body. I moved my body instead of laying on the bed. There is no failure in that. I hope today brings more peace than yesterday. My goal today is to be mindful. If I’m not happy with something, I’ll change it. If I’m hungry, I will eat, and I will stop when I am satisfied, not when there is no more food.

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Today's goal: treat my body with respect.

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