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“I was like a patient who cannot tell the doctor where it hurts, only that it does.”

— Khaled Hosseini, And the Mountains Echoed

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Nobody talks about the guy who shows up during your healing stage. The one who is calm, patient, and genuinely kind. He makes you feel safe in ways you didn’t even realise you needed.

He’s not love bombing or playing games. he is consistent, steady, and truly sees you.

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illustrations from 'days with frog and toad,' arnold lobel, 1979.

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3.19.25

The aftermath of clinicals. I really enjoyed clinicals, but for some reason, I feel really unfulfilled today. We’re gonna push through though because we tough that way. We can do it! Just few things off the check list!

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your honor i was just furthering the plot

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what will it be, boss? the comfort of misery or the pain of change?

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3.2.25

It's been a long time since i've posted on here. A lot of draining things has happened in the recent weeks, and I've made a ton of mistakes and have hurt people, which i have realized and apologized for. I know i have to show these people I'm working on myself and I'm really taking action to be the best version of myself.

So, because of so many things that have happened, I haven't really posted much because I haven't studied much. I've moved to somewhere better. Somewhere I feel safer. I'm also really behind and this lesson isn't exactly the most enoyable to study, but it's still quite interesting. And, thinking about it, I'm excited to be able to apply it.

Just something for everyone today and something I learned this week, you're only human. You make mistakes and you fail sometimes, but that's life. Don't beat yourself up about it too much. Recognize, Apologize, Move on, Improve, Grow. Despite your shortcomings, you're still human, you are loved, you are safe, and you are worthy. Most importantly, you are here. Just always do your best and believe in yourself ! Thank you for being here :>>

Have a great week ahead !!

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i think about you when i’m not even thinking

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2.16.25

belated valentines everyone. I'm quite bummed. I didn't expect the grades i got. And i got really, really low. But that's life, i guess. I really tried my hardest, but i panicked at the last minute and messed it all up. Its just man vs himself.

Right now, im studying for finals tomorrow and what I've got to remember is that these failures are just some little things that i shouldn't let bring me down. Yes, it does let me question myself if i'm good enough or smart enough. But, i know i'm still a hundred percent worthy. I probably won't remember this, or maybe I will. But, progress is progress. I've never had a routine this stable in so long and i miss it a lot.

I guess a reminder to be gentle with yourself today, and always keep persevering. Nothing is permanent. This will pass.

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- Kazuo Ishiguro - The Paris Review Interview: The Art of Fiction.

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vintage stamps

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2.9.25

These are the moments where louis and ella are just swinging in the background, and i love learning again.

the end goal was never the grade. sure, it feels great, but god, i miss moments like this. the last time i had a study sesh like this was senior high school. i miss it. ✊️😔

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2.3.25

thank u to whoever discovered yerba mate. u a real star. and i’d like to thank my aunt for introducing it to me. I’ve been trying to ditch coffee and spending an absolute buttload of money just to survive exam, and this has saved me and kept me awake. It gives me zoomies but never the palpitations that coffee brings. So, if u want to give it a shot as a replacement, i heavily recommend it especially if u pull all nighters ;) BUT I DONT RECOMMEND THAT

anw cramming for an exam atm and battling self doubt and fears i guess. we’ll push through. bigger goals await and the biggest dreams are yet to come true 😆🤙

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shoutout to my homies who are deeply bizarre and have something wrong with them

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*feels my body get anxious for no reason* what is it boy, what do you see?

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the goal for this year and for every year is to be kind and also to stop being scared of literally everything