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How writing tiny scenes explaining how John reluctantly and helplessly fell in love with Bob feels like

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THUNDERBOLTS* dir. Jake Schreier | 2025

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they’re adorable. now fucking kiss 🧎‍♀️

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"A little bit harder now" chapter 6 is finally out now!

AO3 Link

You'll understand why this one was incredibly hard to write, but I hope I did justice to Bob's suffering, with what John's treatment made his mind go back to. Heavy TW for sexual abuse. Be safe if this is something that you can't stomach.

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Bob and John and the “you don’t have to” “but I want to” oral trope but instead it’s “you don’t have to” “… you won’t be mad?” “No, baby. I don’t want you to do anything you don’t like”.

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Bob hasn't had people who praised him. His parents haven't told him "good job", his teachers thought he was out of control and they haven't done it either. He really needed someone to tell him "hey you're doing amazing"

Walker always was a soldier. He's taken orders, told "yes, sir" and he has never been important for anyone. He got a chance to change with being Captain America but you know what happened.

And then John tells Bob "you were great in there". Bob is touched, John feels valued

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some voidwalker/sentryagent sketches before i go to bed

[deeokanee]

"A little bit harder now" chapter 6 is finally out now!

AO3 Link

You'll understand why this one was incredibly hard to write, but I hope I did justice to Bob's suffering, with what John's treatment made his mind go back to. Heavy TW for sexual abuse. Be safe if this is something that you can't stomach.

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i like to think that bob has a thing for slightly disheveled post-mission john

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Bobby couldn’t get hurt, not unless he let it happen. And even then, whatever damage he took stitched itself back together in minutes, hours, maybe days depending on the hit. When it did, he always reset to the same baseline, the exact version of himself that had walked out of the Sentry Project, down to the last freckle. And sometimes, that sameness bored the hell out of him.

Which meant free time hit him in ways it didn’t hit normal people. Some folks impulse-bought kitchen gadgets at three in the morning. Bobby impulse-altered his own body.

Like the time he shaved his eyebrows clean off because he was curious what it’d feel like. The team came back from a mission to find him on the couch, barefoot, sweatpants, spoon in one hand, half-eaten yogurt cup in the other, looking smug and eyebrowless. No explanation offered. By the next morning, they were back in full, as if nothing had happened.

Or the week he decided his hair needed “personality” and bleached it before dyeing the whole thing a blistering neon pink, chopping it into a mullet while humming to himself in the kitchen. Yelena had walked in, stared at him for a full five seconds, muttered “You look like bad vodka tastes” and walked right back out. Less than twenty-four hours later, his hair was back to its usual brunette.

Then there were the tattoos. They never stuck more than a few days, which meant he treated his skin like a dry-erase board. The Kermit in a cowboy hat was a hit, Yelena nearly choked on her coffee the morning that one showed up on Bobby’s bicep. Alexei’s favorite was the New Avengers logo sprawled across his chest, which he declared “a true act of patriotism” while clapping Bobby's back. Ava’s pick? The time Bobby had “FLOR IDAA” inked across his knuckles for no reason other than it made her laugh so hard she had to sit down.

John’s favorite was more personal. One quiet afternoon, Bobby handed him a marker and said “Go nuts.” John, still trying to play it cool, doodled little hearts, dumb stick-figure versions of the team, a tiny “love u” by Bobby’s ribs. The next day, Bobby showed up with all of it tattooed exactly as John had drawn it. It lasted barely three days, but John took as many photos as he could, scrolling through them more than he’d admit.

Piercings went about as well as you’d expect. An eyebrow ring? Rejected by his body in three hours. A bridge piercing? Same story. The tongue-splitting stunt was the most infamous, Bucky groaned like an old man every time Bobby spoke, muttering about “kids these days” while Bobby grinned with two separate tips of his tongue, clearly delighted it took almost a three days to heal back.

The thing was, after a while, the team stopped being surprised. Coming back from a mission, there was a fifty-fifty chance Bobby would be sitting on the couch looking exactly as he’d always looked, and a fifty-fifty chance he’d have done something to himself that made at least one person laugh and one person swear. They even started betting on it during the ride home.

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Bob and John and the “you don’t have to” “but I want to” oral trope but instead it’s “you don’t have to” “… you won’t be mad?” “No, baby. I don’t want you to do anything you don’t like”.

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Valentina finds out about John and Bob's relationship and flat out forbids them to be together saying how badly the public will react and that all the investors will be pissed off and so on and so forth and at the next meeting with their sponsors John brings Bob, sits him on his lap and as if nothing had happened smiles and gets all handsy right in front of everyone’s eyes 

it’s literally this: 

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Currently working on the next "A little bit harder now" chapter and it's getting longer and angstier by the second. I'm positive this trainwreck is gonna be out by the end of the week 🫡

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Oh you know Bob loves to make John go mad when they're apart.

The man is gonna send John "innocent" pictures where he shows him that he ordered takeout, but the bag is between his legs and he's on the couch in his boxers.

When they call each other at night and John tells him he misses him, Bob replies that to alleviate the loneliness "I'm just gonna sleep in your bed and imagine you're here." and the way his voice is low as fuck and he practically purrs those words are the reason why John's gonna get charged for breaking the bedframe.

he knows exactly what he’s doing

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i’m a simple person if Bob calls Walker "John" in doomsday it'll be more than enough for me (it’ll be the cause of my death)

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The way John loves Bob is something Bob would've never imagined having for himself. The hardened ex soldier touches him with unbelievable gentleness and cherishment, like he's the most dear thing in the world to him. And Bob, who has always been handled roughly and without care, has a hard time adjusting to that.

John stoops in front of Bob's chair to give him a peck on the lips and Bob expects spit to drip on his face.

John cradles his face in his hands and Bob waits for his fingers to slide down his neck and the air to be cut from his throat.

John playfully sprawls on top of Bob while he's lying in the bed on his stomach, and Bob anticipates John holding him down on the mattress and yanking his pants down.

The guilt knots his stomach any time those sick intrusive thoughts tell him that John isn't different from all the men that took from him without asking. That he's just taking his time, but he only wants someone convenient he can use, what anyone has ever wanted from him.

And John sees when Bob's eyes unfocus while he looks at him. John notices how sometimes his body stiffens at his touch, how his breath falters. And he just holds him tight, strokes his hair and whispers that it's alright.

Bob lets out a shaky sigh, telling himself that one day he will get used to this. He trusts that John will wait for him.