decaying-system

[decaying-system]

full offense, some of y'all heard 'dismantle toxic masculinity' and took it as 'dismantle masculinity' and it shows.

[decaying-system]

"Back during the pandemic" "when covid was still a thing"

Covid is killing over 1000 Americans each week. Covid is the 3rd leading cause of death in the US. Covid is still spreading and mutating. Only 16% of Americans have gotten their boosters in a "vaccine only" strategy to fight the disease (that doesn't work because vaccinated people can and do catch and spread covid). Covid is still a very real threat to you and those you love. Stop talking about it in the past tense. Stop living a lie. It's not 2019. You'll never live in a "post covid" world. Our wishes for "normal" have destroyed any chance of a true end to the pandemic unless we act. Mask up and stop the spread if you really want to past-tense covid.

[decaying-system]

It’s normal in DID to not have communication with parts at first (or even for a really long time). It’s normal to not have any fictives. It’s normal to not have assigned roles. It is normal to not have an inner world. It is normal to use I/me instead of we/us and it is okay to do so. It is normal to not have overt switches or obvious parts fronting. It is normal to have blackouts. It is normal to not switch for days, weeks, or even months on end. It is normal to be more switchy after a traumatic or triggering situation and then not switch at all for long periods of time. It is normal to not have a ‘system name’. It is normal to not know much about your system at all as the host. It is normal to not remember the trauma that triggered the disorder.

These are all extremely typical experiences of DID. You are not wrong. You are not weird. The vast majority of cases are covert without flashy symptoms until periods of more overt presentation arise, usually under stress, new trauma, or triggering situations (such as having a baby, getting married, death of an abuser, etc). The average person will be in the mental health system for a decade before being diagnosed and most cases are in adults. There is nothing wrong with not experiencing the type of overt DID that is popular to portray both on social media and in media as a whole. It can take years to map out your entire system and years to establish communication with parts. It’s okay to take time to figure things out. Have grace and patience for yourself. It’s going to be okay. 

[decaying-system]

the commodification of friendship is the most annoying thing to come out of the internet in ages. like actually i love to break this to you but you're supposed to help your friends move even if it's hard work. or stay up with them when they're sad even if you're gonna lose sleep. you're supposed to listen to their fears and sorrows even if it means your own mind takes on a little bit of that weight. that's how you know that you care. they will drive you to the airport and then you will make them soup when they're sick. you're supposed to make small sacrifices for them and they are supposed to do that for you. and there's actually gonna be rough patches for both of you where the balance will be uneven and you will still be friends and it will not be unhealthy and they will not be abusive. life is not meant to be an endless prioritization of our own comfort if it was we would literally never get anywhere ever. jesus.

[decaying-system]

dykes are so right about dyke being its own gender. that’s me with being a fag. we are brothers and sisters in arms

[decaying-system]

I love it when people use "shrimp" to mean "beyond the human range". like "shrimp colors" but applied to other things. "shrimp emotions" "shrimp sounds" "shrimp morality", as if shrimp are living some kind of transcendent existence that humans can never comprehend

[decaying-system]

(I bring a sort of “Everyone has inherent worth regardless of their productivity” Vibe to every conversation that ableists don’t really seem to like)

EDIT: This has reached 47k notes! And is still getting 99+ notes daily! I’m so happy that it’s still reaching people, if you’re reading this you have so much inherent worth and you deserve happiness!

[decaying-system]

My heart goes out to other systems who have to spend the holidays with their abusers.

You will be free from them some day.

You are not to blame for their actions.

You are doing your best.

You are loved.

[decaying-system]

Intra-system communication is!! So much more than back and forth conversations using typical language!! And I see so many people struggling because they think they can't have good communication because their headmates can't have defined conversations the same way you would with someone outside your body but no!!!

Intra-system communication can be writing/journaling together or to leave as a note, it can be roleplaying, it can be sharing abstract thoughts and concepts that can't be put into words, it can be listening to music with meaningful lyrics together, it can be so so many personal and hard to explain things. The most successful communication we've ever reached has been through experiencing and creating things together that give us a better understanding of each other and what we're all feeling or hoping for. There are so many other ways to communicate than traditional conversations!

[decaying-system]

extra love to trans people who have to go by their dead name around their families for the holidays

[decaying-system]

(Rb for reach!)

Frequent is subject (up to whoever've answering it). You can either answer for current fronting situation or general/overall trend. If you're not sure you can either make your best guess or pick other

You can choose to include fragments in this count if you'd like - it's up to personal preference

[decaying-system]

Plural culture is wondering why you don't remember half of your childhood then worrying because. Was That Even You?

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[decaying-system]

Hey

I know it's tempting, and I know it's hard to accept, but brute forcing your way to find your trauma isn't going to help you or your system.

Trust me, we get it. You just wanna know, you wanna understand and you don't want to have a guessing game each day but trauma holders formed for a reason. Your system formed from trauma for a reason.

What you should focus on is getting better, strengthening communication, and building a more comfortable and safer life for the whole system. Being out of the loop sucks, and I understand that nagging feeling to just know what's happened already.

But you would never try to force a friend to blurt out their trauma unprompted. You would never interrogate and cross boundaries with the people you love to make them reveal their trauma to you.

It'll happen in time. They will open up. You just have to trust them and be patient. You just have to heal from what you know now and be ready for when they do open up. They aren't your enemy in this, they do care for you, even if it may not feel that way.

-🌺

[decaying-system]

I really fucking hate the whole identity confusion thing and blurriness that can happen in DID. "Which alter am I talking to right now?" fuck if I know! One of us. Some of us. All of us? None of "us". I just know I'm here now and I exist, nevermind who I am. And like, it's not that it's a bad thing to ask who's fronting right now; we encourage our friends and partners to ask us to get to know us better. But sometimes it's just so goddamn frustrating to hear that question and not know the answer to it.

[decaying-system]

the system experience of being blurry is always so wild because it's like, it feels like knowing who you are should be very simple, but then suddenly it's impossible to tell and it's like "am I this guy? am I someone else but masking heavily? am I new here? am I multiple people co-fronting? what even is a person? can I ever truly know myself? do I even exist? what if I'm a figment of another alter's imagination?" and then you listen to the right song or something and it's like "oh of course"

[decaying-system]

The wildest part about being a system and having known you are a system for a while (6+ years for us) HAS to be seeing people who are just figuring it out fall into holes that you've long left behind.

Like. Yeah. We also thought we needed to keep tabs on everyone to increase communication. In the end it became too unwieldy. Especially since DID evolves with what you experience all the time.

Microlabels are cool and I fully support anyone who uses them, but figuring out what to call every single structure in your system isn't for us anymore.

Another thing we notice is people who try their best to know who is fronting at all given times. A lot of that comes naturally to us nowadays, but it's also... OK not to know. Especially if you're not focusing on anything system related at the time.

I guess a lot of this boils down to, it's okay not to care. It's okay to go with the flow of things and figure out at your own pace. Identity is fluid, especially if you have a dissociative disorder. You don't HAVE to have everything figured out 100% of the time.

It's okay to take it slow. It's okay to not know. It's okay to just exist for a bit. It's okay to live and experience things beyond being a system.

To all the people who are just starting to comprehend this. You do not need to know and label exactly what is happening in your head all the time. Fuck, we sure don't. And we're happier for it.

It's okay to just be you.

[decaying-system]

Plural culture is having an alter that hates being part of a system with a passion and makes it everybody else's problem and refuses to cooperate at all

- 📖⭐

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