dearjohnegan - Tumblr blog

[dearjohnegan]

hi! i found this series of essays that i thought you might find interesting:

https://thesacredmoment(.)blogspot(.)com/2006/02/essays-based-on-work-of-alice-miller(.)html

they were written at the time of/focus on the iraq war, but they also talk a lot about the psychology of war in general, as well as the experiences of soldiers/veterans

ooohh thank you. just skimming them now but this quote partically jumped out at me re: yv au.

"During the heat of the battle the adrenaline is such you don't really think about it," says Capt. Brandon Payne, 28. "Once that adrenaline wears off, though, it gets tough. Some kids, it rolls right off their backs. Some, it's like they break down a little more each day."

this is like. the crux of kinda why *everyone* has the issues they do. curt got fucked because he was go-go-go until suddenly boom, no more leg- away from all your friends and facing a long exhausting rehab road. going from the routine of being hopped up on adrenaline almost 24/7 to that is like. a shock to the mind that he doesn't really process in a way that's healthy until. much later than he should. in the dougie character study thing im workin' on he's kinda an asshole- and that's the more deep seeded reason he Is the way he is towards jamie. functions be being On all the time because being Off makes him itch. and since jamie is also having a very hard time and On at all times they clash.

and bucky was very much in the "break down a little more each day" zone. curt getting hurt and leaving is the first domino but he really spirals hard in bagram pretty much through that-until they go home. it's where his issues with croz and brady start, and gale is constantly having to defuse him picking fights with people- mostly the two of them. then he gets home and like i've said before, he actually does pretty good at first bc he feels like he can relax. but he's so (: yay no more war (: that he thinks he can just dust off and be all good forever now. which is. not how that works lmao.

[dearjohnegan]

Hellooo and welcome to the WOTA server's master–list of fics for the summer writing event! ☀️ We had a list of 36 summer–themed prompts to choose from and a month to write, and everyone who participated has put so much love and time into their fics; I'm so proud of how well this first server event went. 💗

This list will be updated as fics are posted, and you can also peep the collection on AO3 for easier browsing. Thank youuu to all the lovely writers who participated, can't wait for the next one! 🌈

✨ Fic List:

Only You Can Cool My Desire Prompt: 'Ice Play' / 'Too Hot For Clothes' -> by @johnslittlespoon [WC: 6K | E | Gale Cleven/John Egan | Tough And Sweet AU, Heatwaves, Ice Play, Blow Jobs, Light Dom/Sub, Teasing, Orgasm Delay] The Man I've Looked For Prompt: 'Roadtripping' / 'Seductive Popsicle Eating' -> by @amiserableseriesofevents [WC: 4K | M | Gale Cleven/John Egan | Semi–Public Sex, Romantic Fluff, Blow Jobs In A Car, Roadtrip, Gale Cleven's Oral Fixation] The One I'll Care For Prompt: 'Passing Out From Heat & Being Taken Care Of' -> by @c-goldthorn [WC: 2K | G | Gale Cleven/John Egan | Notting Hill AU, Red Carpet, Film Festival, Hurt/Comfort, Heat Stroke, Fainting, Whump] Out Of Control -> by @trashbag-baby666 [WC: 8K | T | Gale Cleven/John Egan | Modern AU, Surf AU, Angst, Hurt/Comfort] No Proof, One Touch Prompt: 'Too Hot For Hugs' / 'Sweat Kink' -> by @c-goldthorn [WC: 1K | G | Gale Cleven/John Egan | Flight School, Set In Texas, Pre–Canon, Pre–Relationship, Sweat, Play Wrestling, Hugs] I'm On The Run With You, My Sweet Love Prompt: '"I Don't Want To Move"' / 'Lake Sex' -> by @alienoresimagines [WC: 9K | E | Gale Cleven/John Egan | Fluff and Smut, Dry Humping, Boys In Love, Summer 1943, Romantic Fluff, Established Relationship] Under The Cover Of The Willow Tree Prompt: '"If You Don't Get Off Me"' / 'Summer Storms' -> by @eternallytired17 [WC: 4K | M | Gale Cleven/John Egan | Post–War, Fluff and Smut, Summer Vacation, Idiots In Love, Dirty Talk, Hand Jobs, Teasing] My Love For You Burns Like A Thousand Suns Prompt: 'Getting A Sunburn' -> by @onyxsboxes [WC: 1K | G | Gale Cleven/John Egan | Summer, Short & Sweet, Sunburn, Established Relationship] Do They Collide? (I Ask And You Smile) Prompt: 'Stargazing' -> by @counting0nit [WC: 1K | Gale Cleven/John Egan | Post–Canon, Post–War, Angst, Nightmares, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff] ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

[dearjohnegan]

Gales Sisters-mota hs au OC’s

Adelaide Cleven, first born of the Cleven girls. (By exactly 32 seconds to say the least.) she’s loud and spunky and unapologetically herself. She LOVES scene fashion and the internet, she’s a my little pony kid. (John goes on a mlp deep dive to connect with her about it. Discord is his favorite non-pony character.) Addy’s favorite character is Pinkie Pie though!! She spends a lot of time making rave Kandi, although she knows her parents would die if she ever attended one…(before she’s 18) then Ken takes her to one!!

When Addy really starts coming out of her quiet kid shell, Gale has to remind their parents. That she’s growing up and allowed to make characteristic decisions for herself. They had a very hard time letting her dye her hair and cut it into a scene haircut they eventually did.

Zoey Cleven, the younger of the two Cleven girls. She is very much unlike any Cleven you’ve seen before. She’s very much the more ~edgy~ one. She’s more of a thrill seeker and a bit of a trouble maker. She really tests her parents boundaries and has pushed past them before.

Previously mentioned, Zoe and Sawyer have always been VERY close friends. They grew up with their older brothers always hanging out and they were in most of the same classes. As soon as middle school roles around her and Sawyer begin their highly dramatic off and on relationship. Through Sawyer, she really got into skating and you can most certainly always find the two there.

[dearjohnegan]

Gales Sisters-mota hs au OC’s

Adelaide Cleven, first born of the Cleven girls. (By exactly 32 seconds to say the least.) she’s loud and spunky and unapologetically herself. She LOVES scene fashion and the internet, she’s a my little pony kid. (John goes on a mlp deep dive to connect with her about it. Discord is his favorite non-pony character.) Addy’s favorite character is Pinkie Pie though!! She spends a lot of time making rave Kandi, although she knows her parents would practically die if she ever attended one…(before she’s 18) then Ken takes her to one!!

When Addy really starts coming out of her quiet kid shell, Gale has to remind their parents. That she’s growing up and allowed to make characteristic decisions for herself. They had a very hard time letting her dye her hair and cut it into a scene haircut they eventually did.

Zoey Cleven, the younger of the two Cleven girls. She is very much unlike any Cleven you’ve seen before. She’s very much the more ~edgy~ one. She’s more of a thrill seeker and a bit of a trouble maker. She really tests her parents boundaries and has pushed past them before.

Previously mentioned, Zoe and Sawyer have always been VERY close friends. They grew up with their older brothers always hanging out and they were in most of the same classes. As soon as middle school roles around her and Sawyer begin their highly dramatic off and on relationship. Through Sawyer, she really got into skating and you can most certainly always find the two there.

[dearjohnegan]

save me callum turner old cowboys photoshoot. old cowboys photoshoot come save me PLEASE

more under the cut:

[dearjohnegan]

bucky is such a real one. on his knees begging for pussy like i just know it to be true. out in the rain. catching hypothermia for pussy. crawling on hands and knees, walking 100 miles through the desert repenting for pussy. also the pussy in question is one glimpse of buck cleven’s ankles thanks

[dearjohnegan]

JOHN EGAN/ GALE CLEVEN

hurt/comfort: ongoing fic

“You’re scaring the men.” Buck says to him one night, when his face is pressed against the back of his neck, far too close for it to be casual.

“I’m scaring myself,” John admits, into the cool night air. It’s easier when it’s like this. When he can pretend that he’s talking to himself instead of the man who’s safety he’s built his life around. But even that is gone, was shattered when his foot made contact with brittle ribs. Just another way that this war has changed him.

John used to be a man who wanted to protect, above all else. Now he just wants to hurt.

**

OR: what if John really did lose his mind, even if only for a moment. Would it change anything?

The long awaited Suicide Stalag Fic! I’ve got most of the fic written out now so it should be updating every few days! Let me know what y’all think. It’s intense.

[dearjohnegan]

Curt's Family-MOTA hs au

Sharon Biddick, she's working back to back shifts between a diner and doing secretary work at a garage. She loves Curt and Sawyer a lot, but just as easy as it is to love her kids, she loves the bottle. She’s been struggling with addiction her whole life. Her parents were immigrants from Ireland with very traditional Irish Catholic beliefs. So, rebelling in the streets of Brooklyn it was for her. How she ended up moving herself and her two boys from Brooklyn to Cheyanne?

About ten years previous her parents moved out there craving something similar to the Ireland countryside and the housing prices were lower. So, she brought the boys out there although she can’t afford much. (And Curt’s working all the time to help keep the lights on and food on the table.) she expected the move to help her sobriety but it wasn’t long before that changed.

(technically speaking this is aged up Sawyer because he’s nine/ten/11 in the events of the hs au) Sawyer Biddick, he’s devoted to his skateboard and making short films. He’s always been super super super into movies since he was young. It's how Curt conditioned and distracted him from the mess going on in their life. Curt just really wanted him to have the childhood he didn't get to have.

After Curt left for the military, he ends up running around with a bunch of skater rats and finds himself in trouble. He doesn't really apply himself in school, hes mouthy just like curt, gets into fights just like curt.

But in all reality, he really just misses his brother and craves any kind of attention from their mom.

Through Ken’s senior year, Sawyer sometimes still crashed at his place, or he went to John and Hams apartment a lot. As he gets older and Curt comes home on leave every once in awhile. Curt gets on him about the poor grades and seemingly back to back suspensions and daily detentions.

"You're wastin' your time with those, assholes. You can't keep-"

"And what would you know about staying out of trouble and using school to get us out of this shit hole apartment? You just ran off the first chance you got."

Queue a nearly physical fight between the two of them…

After Curt loses his leg and he finally is in the Denver VA. The first thing he says to him is:

“It’s the middle of the day, why aren’t you at school?”

“Got suspended.”

When he hugs him he literally smacks him upside the head and tells him he loves him.

Little fun fact for the end: Sawyers in a very melodramatic high school relationship with Gales little sister, Zoe. (They’ve been life long friends.) more lore to come about that later!! Or just send an ask if you wanna know more 💋<33

[dearjohnegan]

[dearjohnegan]

MOTA hs au OC Masterlist!

Gales Family:

Mary and Saul Cleven

Adelaide and Zoey Cleven…Coming Soon

Brady’s Family:

Jennifer and Jane Brady …Coming Soon

His Sisters …Coming Soon

Curt’s Family

[dearjohnegan]

Gale’s Parents-(MOTA hs au)

Mary Cleven,

Gale really got his natural sense of taking care of others from her. She always put Gale and his sisters first growing up. She’s a divorce lawyer and owns her own firm with her husband. (Cleven Law) they keep plenty busy. Unlike her husband, she’s less about upholding the Cleven appearance. She just wants her kids to feel comfortable and safe. She could tell exactly what was going on between Gale and John long before they knew themselves. Mary always has seen John as a second son, he’s always over. She knows all of his favorites and his safe foods. She keeps the fridge stocked for him. Mary tends to be the one that the guys go to for advice, she’s level headed and judgment free. Bonus, she gives the best mom hugs.

Saul Cleven,

High profile criminal lawyer, very much a high in demand lawyer. He’s best the in Cheyanne, which brings some downfalls. He tends to bury himself in his work, pulling long nights in his home office. Gale very much gets his work ethic from his father, to say the least. However, he does have a bit of a goofier dad side to him when he lets the lawyer facade fall. He writes daily jokes for Addy and Zoe to pack in their lunches. He loves Gale a lot but both have a hard way of showing it for each other. As Gale has gotten older there’s been a strain in their relationship, even if it wasn’t intentional.

But he did implement into Gale at a young age that boys don’t cry. He’s the one who wants to hold up the Cleven image. Causing disagreements between the two, (i.e. political disagreements, Gales love life, his grades and school work.) look, Gale just has a hard time saying no.

[dearjohnegan]

When this weather gets better, what do you say if, you and I, we made our move?

MASTERS OF THE AIR Part Seven ✦ Part Nine

[dearjohnegan]

Guys pls send any kind of Clegan HC requests/asks i need to talk about them…

[dearjohnegan]

I’m gonna ugly cry okay

Callum Turner and Austin Butler MASTERS OF THE AIR, PART NINE

[dearjohnegan]

Karaoke in Gales basement HC’s!!!!

MOTA Masterlist!

•Guys let’s be fr it’s Johns idea to do karaoke one night at Gales.

•All the guys are there and Sandra.

•When John stood up and announced he wanted to do karaoke there were groans across the room and everyone was eyeing Gale

•Except for Quinn silly ahhh freshman was like ‘I love karaoke!!!’

•So now John has out Gales sisters Barbie karaoke microphone and he’s got the karaoke going on YouTube.

•Johns actually giving a performance for everyone to Anaconda by Nicki

•When he starts twerking Curt boos at him and Hambone throws a pillow at him

•John makes Curt go next.

•Curt is fr just sitting on the couch mono tone singing Murder On The Dance Floor (it’s his favorite song okay)

•The microphone gets passed to Hambone and him, Dougie, and Brady do a rendition of Sicko Mode

•When it’s Gales turn let’s be fr he’s singing I Will by Mitski

•Croz and Bubbles do a duet to Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

•They finally let Quinn go and he picks Poker Face which is fucking hilarious in my opinion

•Quinn makes Bailey go but Bailey sings with his silly ahhh accent to Before He Cheats

•John begs to go again let’s be so fr guys

•He sings She Wolf are you kidding me

•Gale is smiling and shaking his head as John is standing on the coffee table howling

•At this point Meatball has joined the party and he’s sitting on Bennys lap howling

•Benny and Meatball are besties are you kidding me

[dearjohnegan]

Heaven is a Bedroom-Curt/Gale/John

Summary: Little smut snippet of John, Gale, and Curt in Gales bedroom.

WC: 570

C/W: NSFW, porn without plot.

MOTA Masterlist!

Gales is never sure how he gets himself here everytime they do this. It’s only been a handful of times before they’ve done stuff with Curt together.

Gale sank further into John with every thrust he delivered, his large hands wrapped around his hips. Pulling Gale back down again and again. His hands gripped onto John's knees as he fully submitted to him. Curt sat on Gales desk chair close to them resting his elbows on his knees observing the two go at it.

Soon enough Curt got up sauntering across the room. Gales pretty mouth hanging open, broken moans falling out.

“Gorgeous little thing you are.” Curt purred, grabbing Gales jaw forcing his blue eyes to lock with his own, “You met god haven’t you?” Aggressively pushing his lips into Gales. Gale's lips were barely in control as they shared a wet kiss, Curt shoving his tongue down the others throat. Pulling away after a moment, his hand still wrapped around Gale's jaw he slipped his thumb into his mouth. Gale quickly closed his mouth around it, sucking.

“You’re so fuckin’ gorgeous, prettiest thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Fuckin’ hell.” John groaned sitting forward as Gale clenched around him, John wrapping a hand around Gale's small waist trying to deliver more even blows.

Curt smiled to himself knowing what he was doing for all three of them. Curt wrapped his own hand around his cock swapping out his thumb for his pointer and middle finger. Pushing his fingers further into Gale's mouth as Curt began to jerk himself off.

“I’m so fuckin’ close, Gale.” John grunted into Gale's ear biting into his shoulder and sucking a hickey.

Gale couldn’t even form coherent thoughts as his lover fucked him. He couldn’t even form a thought with Curt’s fingers pushed into his mouth swirling his tongue around them. Fucking hell

Gale really had met god and his name is John Egan. His angel on his shoulder and his devil Curtis Biddick.

“Gale, I love you.” John mumbled into Gales bare shoulder.

“You gonna cum all pretty for me? You’ve been such A good boy.” With one movement Curt pulled his fingers from Gales mouth falling to his knees. He wrapped his hand around the bottom of Gale's cock and swallowed the entire thing. Gale let out a heightened airy moan.

“Oh god,” Gale whined out as John would thrust him forward his cock would hit the back of Curt’s throat, “I love you, i love you.”

Curt smiled around Gale's cock as he could feel John shoot his load into Gale. simultaneously Gale came into the back of Curt’s throat causing Gale to clench around John’s cock feeling absolutely spent. But he couldn’t stop, he felt so amazing. He grabbed onto Curt’s hair and pulled his mouth back all the way around leaning further into John’s aftershocks.

“Gale. Oh. Oh…” Johns groans growing till Gale went completely slack in his arms like a rag doll. Curt pulled Gale's cock from his mouth with a popping sound cum dripping down Curt’s chin.

“You okay, babe?” John gently lifted Gale off of him and laid him back on the bed. His blue eyes glazed over a small smirk on his lips as he stared at the ceiling.

“That was fucking amazing.”

Curt and John shared a look knowing they must have done one hell of a job if they got Gale Cleven to swear.

-

-

Thank you so much to @mangokitkats for the idea/inspiration/help with this!!! You’re so smart luv you ookie!

[dearjohnegan]

Omg hi!!! I’m finally introducing one of my OC’s!!! Magdalena Rosenthal!!! She’s part of my Masters of the Air hs au!

Magdalena Rosenthal, her and Rosie are twins. He’s older than her by two minutes and he certainly won’t let her forget that. They live with their grandparents above the deli they own. I get more into Rosie’s lore and such here. But their parents died when they were 14. Both of them are kinda closed off due to ✨trauma✨. She’s more of a loner, she’s friends with the guys and Sandra but she’d rather be alone than with the rowdy group. She’s really into music and I’m still developing that side of her. Shes an artist and draws a lot. That’s kind of how she conveys her emotions and uses it as her creative outlet.

She’s def Rosie’s biggest cheerleader because where Rosie kind of has his life plans figured out she’s not really sure what she wants to do. She def is very selfless in the sense of giving up opportunities for things so Rosie can have them since their grandparents are always a little tight on money. She just really wants Rosie to succeed in life since their parents death kinda hit him the hardest. He very much buries his emotions and has a guilt complex. Magdalena is always there for him to assure him that things weren’t his fault and such.

Bonus: They have a cat named Pidge whose employee of the month every month at the deli!

If you have questions/suggestions drop them below!! <3