dearest-stardust

[dearest-stardust]

dear santa,

all i want for chirstmas is a portable back massager and hitachi massage wand

[dearest-stardust]

hardcore porn: massaging his scalp until he falls asleep in my arms

[dearest-stardust]

Hana to Kuchizuke ✧  Flowers and Kisses, ch. 35

[dearest-stardust]

controversial opinion but ive suffered enough and should get everything i want for forever from now on and also im pretty cute

[dearest-stardust]

oh to share one soul and one braincell with the person you love

[dearest-stardust]

I hope next year treats you kindly, but above all else, I hope you treat you kindly.

[dearest-stardust]

on love arriving unannounced

[dearest-stardust]

[dearest-stardust]

Nothing hurts more than trying your absolute best and still not being good enough.

[dearest-stardust]

[dearest-stardust]

“if they wanted to they would” has been helping me get over my attachment issues because it turns out no one actually wants to

[dearest-stardust]

when you've found your person, it's not just lust you feel. it's something deeper, something beyond the simple craving for physical intimacy that you once knew. it's an endless yearning, a desire to merge your very essence with theirs. you want to feel every inch of their being, to have their skin, flesh, and bones intertwined with yours. you want to lose yourself in the abyss of your lover's eyes. physical touch becomes almost inadequate, yet it's the closest you come to the divine pleasure of becoming one. it's not lust. it's worship.

[dearest-stardust]

the smell of his skin. his morning voice. his hair when it's messy. the warmth of his hands. his body moving slowly. the spark in his eyes when he's excited. his smile. his soft lips. feeling the weight of his body. his laugh. the way he talks. forehead kisses. nose kisses. butterfly kisses. his touch. his soft, pure heart. the mole on his cheek. everything about him. he. him. his.

[dearest-stardust]

Nothing.

As we lay together,

your head on my lap,

a terrible thought crosses my mind.

"I love you."

no.

as I play with your hair,

I watch your face,

you look up at me.

"what?"

"I love you."

no.

no. no. no.

you get up to go to the bathroom,

you come back.

"I love you."

no.

you nestle back into my arms.

no one has ever felt so

right

in my arms.

"I love you."

no. no. no.

you look up at me when I go quiet.

"hm?", you raise your eyebrow.

"I love you."

no.

"nothing." I smile.

my hands return to your hair.

nothing.

nothing.

nothing.

RFM

11/26/2024

[dearest-stardust]

some things I can only tell God, a therapist or my journal

[dearest-stardust]

i’m like if an angel fell from heaven and got insanely fucked up from the impact

[dearest-stardust]

Sometimes the person you need to forgive is yourself - not for being wronged, but for being wrong. I say this with so much love, but you're not the victim of every story you're in. Some chapters require your accountability. That's where healing begins.