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So on our message boards and in my many inboxes I read several dozen stories a year from miserable, lonely guys who insist that women won’t come near them despite the fact that they are just the nicest guys in the world. So, what do you bring to the table? Because the Zooey Deschanel lookalike in the bookstore that you’ve been daydreaming about moisturizes her face for an hour every night and feels guilty when she eats anything other than salad for lunch. She’s going to be a surgeon in 10 years. What do you do? “What, so you’re saying that I can’t get girls like that unless I have a nice job and make lots of money?“ No, your brain jumps to that conclusion so you have an excuse to write off everyone who rejects you by thinking that they’re just being shallow and selfish. I’m asking what do you offer? Are you smart? Funny? Interesting? Talented? Ambitious? Creative? OK, now what do you do to demonstrate those attributes to the world? Don’t say that you’re a nice guy — that’s the bare minimum. Pretty girls have guys being nice to them 36 times a day. The patient is bleeding in the street. Do you know how to operate or not? “Well, I’m not sexist or racist or greedy or shallow or abusive! Not like those other douchebags!” I’m sorry, I know that this is hard to hear, but if all you can do is list a bunch of faults you don’t have, then back the fuck away from the patient. There’s a witty, handsome guy with a promising career ready to step in and operate. Does that break your heart? OK, so now what? Are you going to mope about it, or are you going to learn how to do surgery? It’s up to you, but don’t complain about how girls fall for jerks; they fall for those jerks because those jerks have other things they can offer. “But I’m a great listener!“ Are you? Because you’re willing to sit quietly in exchange for the chance to be in the proximity of a pretty girl (and spend every second imagining how soft her skin must be)? Well guess what, there’s another guy in her life who also knows how to do that, and he can play the guitar. Saying that you’re a nice guy is like a restaurant whose only selling point is that the food doesn’t make you sick. You’re like a new movie whose title is This Movie Is in English, and its tagline is “The actors are clearly visible.”

David Wong, ”6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person”  (via silvia-plath)

(via justagodlessliberal)

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By Jessi Hard etsy.com/shop/embroiderybyjessi

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i hate when people say that women should dress more modestly in order to “leave something to the imagination”. leave what to the imagination? what do people think is under my clothes? a mass of algae? memes? shinji ikari?

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tired of people asking me to play basketball just because of the flaming basketball tattoo on my neck. i hate basketballs. i want them all to burn in hell. that is the significance of this tattoo

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am i the only person not affected by generalized positivity… like post it notes in bathrooms that say ‘you’re beautiful’ or posts that are like ‘smile! you are a beautiful sunshine flower!’ i’m just like … okay…

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I WANT 36,000 DOGS

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nvm im ugly. selfie cancelled

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She died doing what she loved. Dying