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i had to see this now you have to as well. sorry

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op turned off reblogs but i’m gonna pass out laughing over this

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I genuinely think that trans activists hate terfs more than pedophiles

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Convincing teenagers that their families hate them because they question their trans identity is pure evil. Identifying as trans automatically implies that you're unhappy with your body. Shouldn't any loving parent's instinct be to reassure their child that they're perfect as they are? Stop vilifying loved ones legitimate concern and stop making kids think their families want them dead. It's nothing but cruel fearmongering.

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be sure to leave out milk and cookies for brutus tonight

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people on tumblr dot com will be like:

ummmm pornography has ALWAYS existed???? you see this sketch of intercourse from 1564? this is TOTALLY comparable to millions upon millions of videos of women being abused on camera in our modern age lol stop being such a prude we've always been breaking boundaries 🤛🤛

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Something I still can’t get over is the way the “sex positive” community talked about August Ames, even after she died.

[image: Mercedes Grabowski, aka August Ames]

For those of you who don’t know, August Ames was a 23-year-old porn actress who committed suicide in 2017 after being bullied and publicly shamed by her peers/colleagues in the adult film industry. The reason they were bullying her was because she found out a studio was planning to have her shoot a sex scene with a porn actor who was on her “no” list, so she refused to film the scene with him.

She was bullied for not consenting to sex with a specific person that she already had informed her agent and the studio that she didn’t want to work with. They scheduled her with him anyway, and she said no, end she was subsequently bullied and publicly shamed en masse. Another adult film actor (Jaxton Wheeler, male, 7 years her senior) posted publicly that “the world is waiting” for Ames “to swallow a cyanide pill.” The internet hate mob was made up of people Ames saw as her peers - and since they were all posting about her publicly - an army of porn fans also joined in. Even those who didn’t really care about the ins and outs of the adult industry were excited to have an opportunity to publicly abuse a woman who dared to say no.

She tried to stand up for her right to say no, but this just caused her critics to double down even harder on the public roasting. Finally she had enough. She tweeted “fuck y’all” and she hung herself. She was only 23 years old. Her real name was Mercedes Grabowski.

[image: Mercedes Grabowski]

Like I said at the beginning of this post, what messes me up is the way “sex positive” writers covered her death. Even in obituaries and memorial posts, many writers still try to debunk her reasoning for not wanting to have sex with the person she said no to. Consent is supposed to be sacrosanct. No one should ever be forced (or pressured in any way) to have sex with someone that they say no to. The fact that she said no to this man and then was still scheduled with him is a violation of her consent. The fact that her reason for not consenting was dissected and called “problematic” is also a violation of her consent. No means no. No always means no. Anything that tries to change a “no” into a “yes” is a violation freely given consent.

Yet publications covering her death sometimes spent HALF THE ARTICLE dissecting and “debunking” her reasoning behind not wanting to shoot a scene with the man she said no to.

What was her reasoning? I haven’t mentioned it in this post for one reason: it doesn’t matter. No means no. A person can refuse to consent to sex FOR ANY REASON. Disagreeing with that is rape logic. A person shouldn’t need to prove that they are declining consent for ideologically pure and completely “unproblematic” reasons. No means no! No only means no!

Rest In Peace, Mercedes Grabowski age 23, August 23rd 1994 - December 5th 2017. She was bullied, ostracized, publicly shamed, and called a bigot for daring to say “no” to sex with a specific partner who was already on her “no” list. Her consent was not respected, even in her death. The porn industry and its supporters has since pushed this incident under the rug and never talks about it. On the rare occasion that they do, they’ll spend at least half of the talk on criticizing the reasoning she gave behind saying “no” as if a simple “no” was not enough. “No” should always be enough.

[image: Mercedes Grabowski, aka August Ames, posing for a photograph with her brother who says he still receives disgusting anonymous messages about his sister, even long after her death.]

Never believe the “adult industry” or the “sex positive community” that they value consent. This is a lie. If you do even the littles bit of digging you’ll find hundreds of accounts of women in the porn industry saying “no” to specific acts and specific partners, and then being either forced or “pressured” (aka forced) to do those things anyway. But apparently it’s “sex negative” and “wh*rephobic” and “SWERF” to talk about this. Well, I’m not going to stop talking about this, and I hope you don’t either.

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“It takes impressive twists of mental gymnastics to pretend that it is merely coincidence that leads thousands of women to prefer their husband’s names over their own, rather than a complex interplay of cultural conditioning and social pressure. The fact that it is seen as less hassle to go through the trouble of changing a name, rather than keeping it, speaks volumes about the expectation that women will give up part of their premarriage identities. The appropriation of married women’s labour is also a tradition that is still going strong. Several studies have shown that married couples, regardless of their period of prior cohabitation, experience an exaggerated sexual division of labour after the wedding day that results in women undertaking an even more disproportionate burden of household chores. Simply by getting married, women increase, on average, their unpaid work by around 60 per cent.”

-  Saying ‘I Don’t’: moving beyond marriage by Meagan Tyler  

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Chances are, you’re not fridgid or asexual- patriarchy probably killed your natural, healthy sexuality.

Things that ruin the sexuality of women:

1. Habitually forcing yourself to have sex you don’t want to have out of duty + obligation.

2. Habitually having sex with someone who is selfish and only cares about their pleasure.

3. Being treated like an object or treating yourself like an object (getting all your pleasure out of being desired, never thinking about what you desire/find physically attractive or what feels good to you)

4. Sexual abuse, rape, exploitation and being exposed to violent kinks.

5. Habitually having sex totally disconnected from emotional intimacy and care.

6. Having sex with someone who disrespects you, disregards your needs, emotionally neglects you or full blown abuses you on a daily basis.

7. Participating in sex work. Biggest kept secret is that women who have sex for work are prone to becoming sex repulsed.

REAL sex positivity for women would come from addressing these issues. But we don’t hear about it. 👂🏽🚫

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Porn star testimonials paste-up.

Testimonials from https://www.shelleylubben.com/pornstars

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Male gender nonconformity becoming more “mainstream” than gnc women is in large parts about capitalism. What’s a better business model? Telling men they should buy makeup and skincare or telling women they shouldn’t buy anything at all?