damfangirl08

[damfangirl08]

@blueskybehindtheclouds theres a batman movie where Matthew Grey Gubler voices the riddler and you didnt tell me?

[damfangirl08]

Duke is unapologetic for everything that comes out of his mouth. In fact, give him a mic, he'll say it louder.

Some way too old for that guy, trying to flirt with Cass: You know, you seem so mature for your age…

Duke, popping out of nowhere: And you're really fucking dumb for yours, man, fix this puddle of desperation on your head first and only then think about trying to fit into society. If even your hair doesn't want to be with you, what are you counting on?

Cass, who really didn't want to ruin her cute dress with blood: 👍🏻

A really annoying paparazzi: Hey, boy, how does it feel to become rich after, well, whatever you were before? Have your, erm, extracurricular activities changed? What's your favourite thing to do now?

Duke, with the straightest face known to mankind: No, it's still your mom. My favourite extracurricular activity, planning to do her more actually, thanks for the question.

Bruce, trying to parent a whole ass teen: So…

Duke: I really shouldn't have told this terrible, rude, insufferable piece of person to go eat shit. I genuinely regret it. I should have told her to go eat shit and die choking, such a missed opportunity, damn, I'm still upset.

Bruce: ...

Bruce, to himself: Why am I even trying?

There are a bunch of compilations on YouTube and Tiktok “Duke Thomas-Wayne has no PR training whatsoever”. Duke personally likes every single one of them.

[damfangirl08]

No, the first one happened, quite frankly, long before either of you two were even Robin.

(Batman: Wayne Family Adventures 119)

[damfangirl08]

The comic updated while i was doodling

[damfangirl08]

Bruce has a strict 'no metas/powers (except duke) allowed in Gotham' policy in place but it has a clause, BYOR (Bring Your Own Robin)

No one is allowed entry untill and unless they can produce their very own certified robin-shaped identity card

Whenever someone with even a hint of supernatural powers in them arrives at Gotham, they're first met with Bruce standing at the city border with a notepad in hand

Bruce: State your name and purpose.

Kon: Kon-el, here to hangout!

Bruce: Your Robin?

Kon, flourishing Tim from behind him: Ta-Da!

Tim, waves: Hey Bruce

Bruce: Approved, you may enter

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce: Name and purpose?

Hal: Here to investigate a case, Hal Jordan

Bruce: Your Robin?

Hal: I.... don't have one?

Bruce: Denied

Hal: What?! But-

Bruce: Denied.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce: Yes, Wally, where's your robin?

Wally: Oh shit lemme just- *zaps away and returns with Dick, who was in the midst of brushing his teeth, in a bridal carry*- Here!

Bruce, grumbling a little: Fine. Approved.

Dick: You gotta stop using me as a key already, man

Wally: Blame Bruce.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce: Name and purpose?

Clark: Clark Kent, here for our monthly barbecue

Bruce: Robin?

Clark, producing an actual robin bird: Does this count?

Bruce:.....yes

[damfangirl08]

I hc that jason, having grown up with food insecurity, would feel terrible about throwing away any edible food. Which means that there are tons of slightly old, unappetizing leftovers in his fridge that he doesn't really want to eat but refuses to get rid of. Tim, being the thoughtful and considerate sibling he is, starts breaking into Jason's safehouse at 1:00 AM while he's still on patrol just to eat his leftovers.

This works out perfectly for both of them, since Tim doesn't gaf what food he eats as long as 1. It has calories and 2. It doesn't have poison (plus his adhd ass is less likely to forget dinner if he turns it into a Mission) and Jason is happy to be rid of the leftovers (he assumes it's going to someone in need, because why else would someone break in to *only steal his leftovers*??)

They, of course, never speak a word of this to each other.

[damfangirl08]

When writing DC × PJO Fics, why does none of them have the events in HoO being the reason Jason rose from the dead?

For those who don't know, there's 2 different interpretations on how Jason Todd returned from the dead. The first one is related to Crisis on Infinite Earths, where Superboy Prime was punching the boundaries of reality, and as a result of the shockwaves, a lot of the controversial decisions made by DC editorial were reversed in Universe, such as reviving Jason Todd in his Coffin but in a mindless state. In that mindless state, he was found by Talia Al Ghul and was dipped in the Lazarus Pit to help heal his mind and regain his memories.

The second interpretation comes famously from the under the Red Hood movie where they cut out the Crisis on Infinite Earth plotline from the story and just made it that Ra's, feeling guilty for Hiring the Joker and Joker going too far and killing Jason, decided to steal Jason's Body and revive him using the Lazarus Pit.

But, in a world where the 2 worlds of DC and PJO exist, would the Doors of Death being open allow for Jason's soul to wander out of the Underworld and revive himself in his body the same as Hazel Did? Obviously Hazel had died a lot longer ago than Jason did, so when she escaped the doors of death, she had an entire recreation of her original body made by the door. But Jason was relatively recently dead, so it would take much less energy for the Door to heal Jason's Corpse enough to be liveable again to sustain Life than it would to make Jason an entirely new body.

And so, while the 7 are fighting Gaia and trying to close the doors of death, Jason Todd just... Comes back. But, as he was mortal and not in any way divine, he's driven Mad by the revival, his soul remembering the underworld and not being able to adapt like a Demi-God or member of the divine world like monsters would. And so, Talia once again finds him in a state of Madness, whisks him away to Nanda Parbat and after a dip in the Lazarus Pit try and help ease his mind.

All this to say that Hazel and Jason should get together and Go Bowling or have a book Club.

[damfangirl08]

You are completely missing the whole point of Catwoman when you erase her protective motherly/big sister aspects and reduce her to an “independent woman” or a one dimensional villain caricature. No one is “forcing her into nuclear family dynamics” She has been protecting women and children for almost her entire existence as a character! One of her first ever acts of good (literally issue #2 of batman) was offering up her stolen jewelry to the joker to save Dick Grayson’s life! Her desire for family and belonging and acceptance is present in every part of her life when you look one inch deeper than “sexy villain woman in tight leather”

And yes, she is the matriarch of the batfamily, and she has pretty much always been protective of young vigilantes in Gotham. Especially the girls, who usually get Catwoman’s approval as well as Batman’s (Huntress year one, Batman confidential #21)

[damfangirl08]

the idea of Cass being excluded from games makes me sad

its not her fault she can read people

oh hell no. not in my house(blog). that shit ain't allowed here. cass ABSOLUTELY gets included, and if anyone dares suggest otherwise, there is a long line of people ready to exclude THEM.

also, you have never met a family as competitive as the batfam. they take her OP observational powers as a CHALLENGE, okay? she has an advantage. she's smart. she's not cheating, just ridiculously observant. which means that if she wins, it's only because they weren't as observant as they could have been.

so she plays, and it encourages everyone else to do their absolute best. she wins about 40% of the time, which is a shit ton considering that on average every game, be it card of board, has a player count of like seven

[damfangirl08]

Bruce Wayne is not banned from the kitchen bc of mundane shit like burning food or starting fires. seasoned professionals do that shit. bruce is banned from the kitchen bc he never bothers to learn basic shit and it gets people sick. it never once occurs to bruce to wash any of the produce he buys before eating it. he uses the same knife for raw meat and fruit and doesnt wash it in between. he left a dish out to cool before putting it in tupperware then forgot about it for TWO DAYS then PACKAGED IT AND PUT IT IN THE FRIDGE LIKE NORMAL. he is a motherfucker who thinks he can do shit perfectly the first time without any practice and he can when it comes to tech stuff and beating people up, but not when making ice cream bc he lets it churn so long it turns into butter.

[damfangirl08]

I love the idea of Dick being a cop because he'll be clocking in one morning and then finds one of his siblings in a cell after they accidentally got caught during a patrol or smth

XD how have i not thought of this before??? omg

jason: dick: jason: dick: do you know. how embarrasing it is. for my partner to be calling the bail number of a group of inmates. and, sitting right next to him, my phone starts ringing. and i answer. and it's my partner on the other end. jason: . . . no? dick: it's embarassing damian: we apologize for the inconvenience, richard. now, let us out of the cell dick: what the heck did you even do steph: timmy here was supposed to be our lookout tim: IT WASN'T MY FAULT cass: you saw a pretty boy and entirely forgot about the mission dick: dick: did you get his number? tim: yeah he's a classmate of mine dick: *sighs* dick: and what was tim supposed to be acting as a lookout for? jason: us, as we stole . . . something dick: WHAT something cass: the wayne industries entry and exit signs dick: *sighs* and why, might i ask, were you doing that? cass: we wanted to replace them with signs that said "batentry" and "batexit" dick: dick: stay here, i'm paying your bail

[damfangirl08]

AAAAHHHHH

[damfangirl08]

This kid's leg strength is insane

[damfangirl08]

there are certain . . . downsides. to giving the batman your phone number. and being known, to his family, as nothing more detailed than "that one sorcerer"

it leads to certain . . . miscoummunications regarding what you do

constantine: *answers phone* who is this dick: is this the magic man? constantine: constantine: i desperately wish it weren't dick: good. how quickly can you get to gotham and erase the memories of an entire gala full of people constantine: *internally* what the fuck what the fuck what the-- constantine: uh, never. that isn't a part of my skillset dick: dammit. booze-induced memory loss, then constantine: im pretty sure that's not medically recommended dick: neither is the other option, concussions for all constantine: what even- dick: *hangs up* constantine: *bangs head on table* i'm sure i'll hear about this in the news tomorrow

constantine: *picks up phone while smoking* zatanna, if this is another prank ca-- damian: John. constantine: *chokes on cig* what the fu-- damian: how much would one have to pay for you to magically repair a tooth constantine: constantine: *morbidly curious* repair how much? damian: put it back in the mouth constantine: you do know i ain't a dentist, right damian: i am fully aware. price? constantine: dude i can't even do that. as i said, i ain't a denti-- damian: *hangs up* constantine: i gotta stop givin' out my number.

phone: *rings* constantine: *groans and lets it go to voicemail* phone: *rings again* constantine: *lets it go to voicemail again* phone: *Rings a--* constantine: *picks up* DAMMIT YOU MOTHERFUCKER, I AIN'T A MAID AT EVERY SUPERHERO'S BECK AND CALL-- jason: not a hero constantine: --ESPECIALLY WHEN YA DON'T PAY FOR SH---wait what jason: not a hero constantine: constantine: and what, may i ask, the fuck are you? jason: mob boss and walking corpse constantine: constantine:

constantine: okay, mister mob boss, i'll bite. tha fuck do ya want jason: hypothetically speaking-- constantine: fuck jason: --were one to have encountered the loch ness monster-- constantine: fuck jason: --but living in a lasarus pit-- constantine: *stress smoking* FUCK jason: --what would one do constantine: FUCK

[damfangirl08]

I can't find the original post, but one of the Humans Are Space Orcs posts was about how maybe it would be absolutely unhinged that the average human can just approximately judge mass and velocity and distance with eyes and muscles, and throw objects with moderate to high accuracy. Like, no planning, binocular vision only, no triangulation, just toss stuff. They go apeshit over human sports, because that's like if a worm wrote a novel or something, practically a bloodsport.

On the flip side, the fact that most humans can't in any way explain explain mathematically what's happening in a game of catch is infuriating. "What do you mean you just kinda figure it? But it's not a guess?"

The practical result is that it turns out that humans can do the same thing with interstellar travel and skip a starship across the universe without any math, although you want to make sure you don't build anything to close to the approximate landing site.

[damfangirl08]

obsessed with the idea that outsiders (specifically the JL) hear whispers of Red Hood, and strapping themselves in for Batman to have another rogue on his hands, preparing for the sour mood and curt responses, and it just never happens??

there's talk about Red Hood becoming a force to be reckoned with and how he's gonna be less than easy to handle, but after word spread there was just nothing.

Flash asks Batman and he just grunts out 'its handled' and no one brings it up again.

Everyone is unsettled and slightly worried until an attack relatively close to Gotham has the Bats rolling up, right behind them is the infamous red helmet and an undeniable bat painted on his chest.

the JL comms explode into yelling

Batman mutes his earpiece

[damfangirl08]

Piece of shit cat