cynicallgirll

[cynicallgirll]

if the heavens ever did squeak, she's the last true mouse piece

[cynicallgirll]

Hey, you are not an embarrassment for not knowing how to do certain household chores/basic self-care. They do not come naturally to us. A lot of it takes practice! Maybe you had a neglectful guardian. Maybe you had one that was very coddling and never thought to teach you. Maybe you haven't lived in a place where these things were available to you or needed. Doesn't matter. It's okay to not know and far more common than you might realise.

That said, this website provides very simple instructions on how to do everyday tasks such as making your bed, using a washing machine, cooking different foods, washing dishes, taking a shower, etc. All you have to do is use the search bar to find the task you're struggling with, and it'll come up with what you need + other related how-to's:)

If you're having trouble navigating it, let me provide you with some examples:

How to clean dishes by hand

How to make your bed (with visual demonstrations of each step!)

How to fold clothes (with visual demonstrations of each step!)

How to take a shower & dry yourself off (also provides ways to shave beards, armpits, legs and genitals)

How to shave legs, armpits, beards, pubic areas, etc. (a more in-depth guide)

How to mop the floor

How to sweep the floor

How to swallow pills

How to make small talk

How to make eye contact in different situations (or how to avoid it while still looking natural)

It's also perfectly okay if these don't help or aren't appealing to you. Unfortunately, nothing helps everyone.

[cynicallgirll]

🩺

[cynicallgirll]

my ‘unreliable narrator’ tshirt has people asking a lot of questions i can’t be trusted to answer correctly

[cynicallgirll]

cool cool, you like iphone games with anime bikini girls? awesome. and your room is dirty as shit? that fuckin rocks man, hope you find a girlfriend soon, that like, looks like one of the girls. from the game.

[cynicallgirll]

David Lynch. In the sign of angel. Francesca S, Iola di Montese. 27.10.1994.

[::SemAp Twitter || SemAp::]

[cynicallgirll]

Damian *sob*: My girl is too dumb for Valentine’s Day.

[cynicallgirll]

"Just relax and let go"

[cynicallgirll]

[cynicallgirll]

how do you compete with an angel? become one yourself

[cynicallgirll]

Photo time 📷 📸

[cynicallgirll]

what if they just laughed at the absurdity of it all

[cynicallgirll]

!👏

[cynicallgirll]

if house md were running in 2024 there would be an episode with a patient who identifies as an ‘online content creator’ (cagily) where house agrees to take the case primarily because when he offhandedly refers to her as an onlyfans model both cameron and cuddy get really offended and say it’s a sexist assumption so he doubles down and becomes committed to finding the patient’s onlyfans and proving it. at some point it would be revealed that chase actually is an onlyfans model and started doing it as a stopgap after his dad died and he suddenly got disinherited but he makes so much money off it that now medicine is basically just a hobby. cameron and foreman both disagree with the concept online sex work but it turns out they disagree for different reasons (cameron thinks it’s exploitative and not-feminist, foreman finds it distasteful and thinks people should get ‘real jobs’) and spend most of their scenes together arguing about this while chase gets continually more shifty. they break into the patient’s house and there’s a full ringlight and camera setup which seems to confirm house’s suspicions. while trying to find the patient’s onlyfans house accidentally finds chase’s onlyfans instead and considers publicly embarrassing him about it like he did with wilson’s sex tape but soon realises that most of the staff at the hospital are already subscribed to chase’s onlyfans so makes fun of him for that instead. it then transpires that the reason why the patient is so cagey about being a content creator is that she’s an ASMR artist and all the soap she’s been shaving on camera has irritated her lungs. cuddy is about to make house give her 20 extra hours of clinic duty as recompense but at last minute it’s revealed that the website the patient uses for some of her bonus commissions is, drumroll…onlyfans, because she’s been banned from patreon. how does house know this? wilson is subscribed to her because the soap videos sometimes soothe him to sleep. something by cigarettes after sex plays. roll end credits.

[cynicallgirll]

Republican

[cynicallgirll]

Sweet Tomato from Mt Vesuvius

Enikő Katalin Eged

[cynicallgirll]

Matt Smith and Jonathan Bailey sing "Killing Time" in the musical American Psycho at London's Almeida Theatre in 2013.

A proshot copy of American Psycho: The Musical starring Matt Smith is held by the V&A's Theatre & Performance Archives in London.

A London cast recording is on Spotify and Youtube.