cynicaesura

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I have 76 pages of cookie clicker on my phone

keep going. you can start deleting family pictures if you need more space

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For Years my brother has been fucking with me by periodically texting me to say Jimmy Carter had finally died. Today the bit has paid off.

The response to my reaction at work was “what do you MEAN ‘for real this time’?????”

I fucking hate it here I’m crying

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Harry, of course skipping this blind for a rare joker will give you Blueprint. Do you really think I would waste valuable union time having my men hand you an Obelisk? What would I gain from watching you lose on ante 4? I'm a busy joker, Harry!

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batshit website

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what they dont tell you about those little hand baskets in the grocery store is if you put enough things in them they get heavy

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Hope for the democratic party?

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i might actually start crying

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Doctor Who + text posts

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We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.

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I need to stop refreshing the fire watch app

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Good news, everyone

i grew up in a small rural town where there was one dentist, which i went to from around age 5 whenever my parents had the right insurance/money/time to get me there. anyway when i'm like 20 or so i started having minor issues with my wisdom teeth coming in, but not so severe that this place can't extract them.

so i go in for that and i'm sitting there in the chair and the assistant comes in looking at some paperwork and says "so you've been coming here for a while right?" and i am like "oh yeah since i was a little kid" and she replies "yeah, i thought so, there's one note on your file and it's 'patient likes dinosaurs and bugs'"

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i love student housing. i’m in the common room waiting for a friend and there’s some dude crying on the couch w a bunch of his friends around him and i can only hear bits and pieces but someone asked him “who gets the minecraft server if you guys break up?” and he started crying harder and a 3rd person reached over to smack the guy who asked it on the back of the head

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utterly terrifying: person youre following who doesnt follow you back randomly reblogged a few of your posts without explanation

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