cwonderlend

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Hunt<33

Going hunting soon and I'm more then excited to be out there again.  The woods are my home away from home <3

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This is becoming too much...

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WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE INANIMATE OBJECT?

Umm cx I honestly Dont know

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PLEASE JUST READ AND SHARE♥

Please read this; okay I am getting ready to get some sleep, but i want you all to know that nothing in this world that i post to prevent self harm, is to be taking as a trigger, I know for a lot of people it is hard, and that battling with it is the hardest thing in the world. I know that. But, asI have learned, and I pray that you all will too, is that it does get easier, one day, those scars wont reopen, I want to try and help you guys to learn there are other methods rather then self harm, and I do know that you, to all of you that do self harm, you have heard that before, but right now, my goal is not to just tell you, but I want to do what I can to show you through the tunnel, as I have personally just started the butterfly project, I am not just telling yo this like I dont know what you are going through, because I really do. Relapse sucks. Depression sucks. IT starts to run our lives, and we lose touch with ourselves, but we cant do that, we have to remember that we ARE strong enough to pull through and be able to quit at some point. I know, I know it is not easy to quit, but If you ever need someone feel free to inbox me at anytime of day or night. ~Self harm and suicide is not a joke at all, it is a serious problem in the world that people just play with like it never happens, when in reality, it is happening every single day. There are people EVERY SINGLE DAY, that kill themselves, they feel lost and trapped and like there is no hope, and that there is no way out, but there is. ~~~Suicide is nothing but a permanent solution to a temporary problem~~~ Life gets easier rather you believe it now or later, and one day you will thank th people that saved your life, I know I have... Quiting a self harm addiction is not just something you can snap your fingers and quit, nor is it something that you can lean off of.. because if you try to lean off it, means youll still be cutting, means it could just get worse.. Darlings there is hope for everyone, inbox me, or my page, if yo need someone to talk to, im willing to do whatever I can to save lives and help put self harm down, to very very low percents♥ I LOVE YOU ALL, i really do.

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Just take the pain away, let me be free...

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We battle life alone, no matter how many people we think we have,

 it gets rough...

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PLAYERS.

Okay, girls play too, I wont lie, but guys are more shallow when doing it. You think its cool to make a girl feel so ugly about themself? you think its cool honestly? Your a prick, for thinking that. and I automatically hate you. Yes, ive played. more then once,  but i make sure they dont hate themselves. I hate guys like you, and i hate you. Your nothing to me, i never want to see your face again, I dont want anything to do with you. okay? Your gone, your history, your fake love is all a game, I played you hun. Only said Yes cause you begged me too, I dont think you really understand what a lowlife you are. but i know im beautiful/

Dedicated too; Hunter Hensley

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~Suicide Is A Permanent Solution To A Temporary Problem~

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LESS THEN NOTHING

Don’t hold my hand if you plan on letting go,  Don’t kiss me if you’ll need to breathe,  Don’t hug me if you won’t hold me forever,  And don’t love me if it’s not true.  You’re everything I want, but you barely see my love,  I’m falling hard for a boy who doesn’t get how I feel, what I want.  You extend an arm, a hand, a heart,  But because I know you’re doing it without thought,  It means less than nothing to me.  All I’ve ever wanted was to love and be loved.  He was the first chance I got at that,  So I of course jumped and fell hard.  You’d think I’d’ve been struck by the reality of the fantasy,  But I keep on coming back around, around.  You’re everything I want, but you barely see my love,  I’m falling hard for a boy who doesn’t get how I feel, what I want.  You extend an arm, a hand, a heart,  But because I know you’re doing it without thought,  It means less than nothing to me.  I thought he was perfect, that he loved me,  He tries to act like he does.  He’s sweet that way but still,  It’s not real, no, he says it all and shows it all to prove it all to me,  But he doesn’t love me like I love him, I love him.  You’re everything I want, but you barely see my love,  I’m falling hard for a boy who doesn’t get how I feel, what I want.  You extend an arm, a hand, a heart,  But because I know you’re doing it without thought,  It means less than nothing to me.  Don’t hold my hand if you plan on letting go,  Don’t kiss me if you’ll need to breathe,  Don’t hug me if you won’t hold me forever,  And don’t love me if it’s not true.  You’re everything I want, but you barely see my love,  I’m falling hard for a boy who doesn’t get how I feel, what I want.  You extend an arm, a hand, a heart,  But because I know you’re doing it without thought,  It means less than nothing to me.

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Self Harm *Have to finish to understand*

I lie back and cry,  I think of the pain and misery I have lived through,  I try and try to think of positives of every situation,  but thats no longer possible.  My lifes falling apart,  the worlds crashing in on me.  I dont even know what to think anymore.  I want to fake a smile,  But when I do,  I know im lieing.  Fucking medicine has me all fucked up,  hospital pins me down and ties me up,  What did i do?  What can i say?  I want free,  I am okay I swear on it.  "No no, please no, someone save me",  Im screaming at the doctors why they put me in a small room,  they walk out and close the door,  And i realize im insane,  No hopes or dreams lie anymore.  I lye on the bed and listen to the air,  I fake my smile,  And say I am okay.  As a week goes by the pain seems to tighten,  Yet I still keep smiling,  They let me free,  I go home,  yet, I fall into my same bad habits.  The blood starts to drip down my arm after each cut,  I engrave a star into my wrist,  I cut around my vein,  And i realize,  I need help♥

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TEENAGERS

Intro      And you all stand there.  Pointing your PATHETIC little fingers at me.      Waving your discontent.      When after all it's not me who's crazy.      Yeah.  We're REALLY through the fucking looking glass now aren't we?  (Big Scream)      Verse I      Deception building inside me,  Sometimes I feel like I c-c-c-c-can't breeeeatttthe!      Spoken  They say teenagers are the worst group.  DARK  Oppressive  Moody and unpredictable.      Well in a couple of years  Who's going to be the ones  looking after them?      WHO'S GOING TO BE THE ONES IN CHARGE?      YEAH, and we're going to change a few things. Yeah, those bastards will never see it coming !      (Big Scream)      Verse II      Your eyes they judge me.      Concerning, Observing      Meddling in your sad pathetic life.      Watching, as if it were a game to them.      Amusing, reusing the same old fucked up lies again, and again,      TO NO END !      SO PULL THE TRIGGER AND TIGHTEN THE NOOSE !      Chorus      This world is kind of like a rose  It's beautiful to behold.  But to hold !  The thorns they cut, they make you bleed.      Parasitic  eating you inside out.      And you cope.  And you try and do what your told.      Till your old.      An infinite loop played back again in endless succession  RAPID REGRESSION !      AND WE'RE FUCKING SCARED TO DEATH!      (drum breakdown/solo)      But you can't live your life bottled up in fear.  So you have to do it.      For BETTER ....... or for WORSE

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PoemAboutATeenNamedCerah

~This poem is not for attention, so do NOT take it that way. I wrote this becuase this is how im feeling about my life right now, everything im going through. Writing is my escape, and if its dark writings, well thats me~     There's so much more to me,  Then someone will ever know.  Very few know my whole story,  But many think that they do.  I hide so much of my pain from so many,  Sometimes, it's hard to tell I'm depressed.  Everday, I feel as though the whole world,  Is completely against me.  Most will never be able to tell that about me though,  Becuase it is covered by a mask.  I have a huge heart,  Completely covered by steal.  I have been hurt so much,  And by so many..  I'll always mask my pain though,  Because I never want my depression to effect someone else.  I am not broken.  Yet I have to always keep my guards up.  People say that is my best idea,  YOU ARE WRONG!  I have kicked so many people out of my life,  And it takes so much to get into it.  I've basically made my life,  100% writing music/poems, singing, modeling, and my boyfriend and some family that i know is there.  I used to be an A and B studemt.  But everything that I'm going through has changed me.  I struggle to keep my grades high enough to pass,  Everyday I feel weak,  I feel alone and abandoned,  When I know that I am not.  There's only one thing of my past,  That only two poeple know about,  And I will keep  it that way.  I am extremely distant,  From ones that I once called "Friends"  Whenever someone asks me whats wrong,  I will always say "I'm Fine".  -Cerah Anne

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razorblades

The ball dropped, people kissed. You sit locked away in the bathroom, crimson blood dripping from your wrists, legs, and stomach. So much happiness around you, you watch in envy as people are being loved. Another year of being invisible, forgotten, alone. It's like you're already gone. You cut deeper to see the monsters within. Your New Year's resolution? To die before the night is over. This is the one thing you hope to accomplish

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FUCK IT

I fucking cry,  Living high on life.  I thought everything was fine,  Til the day you died,  my life isnt easy.  My dreams arent fa-ar.  But i can tell you one thing, this is my goodbye

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Denial

These days are getting longer and harder to handle. The piercing screams in my mind get louder and scarier by the day. My bones more brittle, my smile more faded. I try not to eat, I get so hungry. I try to stay away, I get so lonely. I try not to lie, but stories have happier endings. The scars are fading, I wish to reopen them. But I can't. I promised everyone I wouldn't. I try to sleep off the bad thoughts, but all I get are nightmares. There is no release, the stress continues  building inside. Maybe someday someone will care, they say they already do. Why don't I believe them? Why can't I be around people without getting nervous? Nobody understands, I try my best to tell them. But how can I when I don't know what's wrong...

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~Suicide Is A Permanent Solution To A Temporary Problem~