crystalsuicune - Tumblr blog

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Unrealistic

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Hnnnng. Colonel. I’ve infiltrated Shadow Moses.

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The OG fox mom

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A friend got this in the mail. Is a certain cat secretly making pizzas when the landlady isn’t looking?

If it's so, I have to take his rent by real money......

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you look great in that frog costume

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A while back my pharmacist saw my deadname on my profile and accidentially called it out, he corrected and deleted my deadname from the system so only my preferred name shows up now. There was a crowd of people behind me, so as he hands over the pills he apologized, in equal tone and volume as when he called my deadname and lied saying it's been a long day and he didn't mean to call out -his own- name. I quietly told him it was fine and he didn't need to do that for my sake.

His response: "No, it's my name now."

I went to the pharmacist yesterday, his nametag is my deadname. He informed me he's immigrating and in the process he's changed his first name to my deadname to have an English sounding name. That's why he's now able to get a reprint of his nametag to be my deadname. And repeated, with the intense seriousness of someone who is going to die on this hill: "It's mine now. Not yours. I'm taking." His tone indicated that decision is final.

Bro literally deadnamed me once, and has committed to flat out stealing my deadname. It's his now. Legally. Officially. I over heard his co-workers call him by the name.

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girls night girls night

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PLATONIC INTERPRETATIONS OF CHARACTER DYNAMICS ARENT ANY LESS VALID THAN ROMANTIC ONES PELASEE

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war thunder forums

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so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.

the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.

i had like, fifteen raw eggs.

i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.

except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.

so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.

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Disney Facial Expressions

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Hilariously funny that they let the guy known for wandering off without warning to look at birds was allowed to do this

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being very online but not Mainstream Online is so perplexing. wake up one day. timeline blowing up because allegedly popular streamer Dingleberry Dan was revealed to be blending small woodland creatures into his daily protein shakes every day for 7 years. you look him up. Dingleberry Dan is the all time most popular Bejeweled Deluxe and Snhebbles Return streamer in the world. he has 67 million subscribers on youtube and 41 million followers on twitter. there are countless friends on your timeline going "i'm absolutely mortified about Dingleberry Dan's horrible critter emulsification atrocities" and "i'm really not at all surprised about Dingleberry Dan's behavior but still disappointed" in 50/50 equal measure. and in 3 days people with the 🆖 emoji in their handle will defend him like their life depends on it by saying he's integral to internet culture and he's being unfairly cancelled. and then in like 4-5 years people will occasionally bring up "hey remember when Dingleberry Dan straight up admitted to turning bunnies and squirrels into slurry every day and people still kept supporting him and he's still a multimillionaire" but nothing really happens other than that

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i feel like all fandom spaces would improve dramatically if more people learned how to enjoy non-canon ships which were never written as romantic without acting entitled to official validation or throwing a hissy fit over not getting something that they were never promised

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Hey has tumblr heard about the Chase “Infinite Money glitch” debacle from tiktok yet because

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Doylist explanation: They keep making new electric mouse pokemon because they're frantically trying to recreate the success of Pikachu. Or at least because it's tradition at this point.

Watsonian explanation: A major predator of rodents is birds of prey. A mouse that can deliver electric shocks to flying-types has a much higher chance of living to produce more offspring. Thus, convergent evolution fills this niche in every region. "Pikachu" is just the pokemon universe equivalent of "crab".

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air condicirno

done for the #Cirntember collab over at twitter