cryingnessa

[cryingnessa]

Vanessa took a deep breath, calming down her spirit and, hopefully, the misery she knew was affecting her roommate. "No, you're right. This movie wouldn't be as great if they did." It was a good point to be made, the movie wouldn't be the masterpiece it was if it was any different. "I think I'm gonna rewrite an ending where they do make it out alive, though, like for my own sense of peace. In my mind, they have a few kids when they get to America. Maybe get a dog, and live to an old age where they both die peacefully. Y'know like that couple in The Notebook." She instantly regretted bringing up that movie when even the mention of it was something that could bring her to tears but she forced herself to move past it, focusing on the things that brought her joy in the moment; Things like how soft her blanket was, and how the vanilla scented candle she lit earlier that night was still lingering around the room. With her moping frenzy now subdued she could concentrate on Davina. "Well, you usually look pretty glamorous to me so it was hard to tell." A gentle smile appeared, trying not to be too sappy towards her roommate. "I still have some popcorn leftover if you want some." Her hand reached for the bowl she'd set aside and brought it closer to see if it would tempt the other.

As she stepped into the other girl’s bedroom there was a moment of overwhelming, deep, and guttural sadness that swept over her in a tidal wave of emotions, one that happened anytime someone got too close to Vanessa during one of her spirals like this - but Davina had dealt with it enough times over the years to know how to combat it. A deep breath and an internal tug at the magic she had within herself to counteract the depression was all it took for her vision to clear up and her mind to be set straight. Blinking a few times as she came back to her own senses, she moved further into the room to sit down on the bed beside her friend. “And that would have been a boring ass ending. Happily ever afters don’t win Oscars, Ness,” she points out, one of the same arguments she always makes whenever they discuss this particular film. There was once a point in time where Davina had agreed, actually, that the two leads should have ended up happily together in the end - but over the years she’d come to accept that it simply wouldn’t have been nearly the same emotional punch of a story if it ended any other way. “In this outfit? With no makeup on? God no. I was just going to get a midnight snack when I saw your light and well, heard you crying.” Not that it was anything new, Vanessa sitting alone with her tears at such a late point of the night, but regardless of how often it may occur it always felt wrong just ignoring the girl and her obvious despair.

[cryingnessa]

Vanessa could barely hear her door opening, she was too enthralled by the film she's watched one too many times. The voice that came out of nowhere wasn't even enough to shock her out of the emotional turmoil the ending of the movie had her in. She felt so caught and though her immediate plans were to deny such a claim, the swelling music playing from her laptop only proved it to be correct. Her damp under eyes probably gave it away too. "They were never supposed to meet but they did and they found love, however fleeting it was, they were happy," her voice manages to work through the sobs. "They should've lived happily ever after." Grabbing a fresh tissue paper, she went in on any wet spots from all the crying and dabbed the tears away as she composed herself. It wasn't that odd to find the movie going on for so long that it came close to continuing on the following day without realizing, however, since Davina brought up the hour her attention was now focused on that. "Wait — what are you doing up this late? Are you gonna go out?" Her eyesight was still fuzzy from all the weeping so she was unable to see her roommate in her pajamas, but given the time of day, she could only assume the other had plans.

closed starter for @cryingnessa location: emotions house - middle of the night

All caught up on her social media scrolling, with nothing new really being posted thanks to the time of night, Davina let out a heavy sigh and tossed her phone down onto her bed, simply staring at the ceiling for a few moments as she contemplated what to do. Really, she should just go to sleep. It was late after all, far later than she usually liked to stay up, but the extra energy drink she’d had to get through her headshot photoshoot was still working overtime in keeping her awake. So sleep wasn’t going to be an option anytime soon, and she’d already caught up with all of her shows as well, leaving basically nothing to do. With another dramatic sigh, she rolled right off the bed and stood to leave her room, roaming into the hallway with the intention of finding some kind of little snack in the kitchen when a light under one of the doors caught her attention.

Knocking twice, softly at first then twice more a bit more loudly, she swears she hears some kind of noise from inside the room and figures that was probably an invitation to come on in. And if it wasn’t well, whoops, she’d just catch an eye full of whatever mystery deeds her housemate was up to this late at night. Opening the door just a smidge to peek her head in and ensure it was safe, Davina quickly scanned the room and upon seeing nothing that raised major red flags or warning sirens, she pushed it the rest of the way open and came on in. “Nessa, baby girl, what on Earth are you doing still awake? Don’t tell me you decided on a midnight rewatch of Titanic again?”

[cryingnessa]

closed starter for @jazzedtobehere location: their apartment's living room

Keeping to herself in her room was the usual way things would go for Vanessa but today, the couch became her cozy shelter. The smell of the vanilla scented candle adorned the room as she turned on a movie she knew she would enjoy, but her roommates maybe wouldn't as much. Still, she sent out an invite in the group chat to see if anyone wanted to join her. She found it comical that as soon as she started her movie, someone did come by. It turned out to be a rabbit instead of a roommate but he was still very much welcomed.

A while had passed since Avery's pet entered the room and Vanessa assumed by the way he plopped himself onto her lap that he'd stay there for a while. But at the sign of Avery standing at the doorway, she took that as the sign that cuddling time might've been over. "Oh, I'm sorry, were you looking for him? He just sort of nuzzled into me and I didn't want to disturb him, you can take him back though. I'm sure he's had enough of me." She began gently picking up Melman to hand him over as she didn't want to impose that his company was necessary to her as it might have been for the other.

[cryingnessa]

"Oh, they're here..." It wasn't an unwelcome change in her life, Vanessa knew very well that there was going to be a new roommate, she had agreed to the arrangement and everything. In fact she hoped a new friend could be made. Still, change was change and it was going to be different having someone new around. There was so much suddenly having to acclimate to, she had to keep her glooming abilities to a minimum as to not disturb Avery so soon that they would even consider leaving and think of only herself to blame. And even by the very fact that she had to keep herself from going down a shame spiral, there was a lot of pressure that she couldn't exactly be herself. This thought process alone was something she could tell Joy wouldn't enjoy, nor would she probably indulge in so she tried to refocus her thoughts onto making sure neither Joy or Avery would have to endure. "Well first, I think the lack of pets thing until now might've been because Davina refused to clean up after animals. And second," she sighed, knowing she was about to disappoint the blonde. "I dunno, I've had a long day and I'm not exactly sure interacting would be good."

who: joy & @cryingnessa where: their house

Joy didn't at all mind spearheading the Avery move-in efforts, which didn't really have to include much beyond a simple clean up, but she really did want to go above and beyond for their new roommate. That part wasn't hard, not at all--Joy would take any excuse to decorate the house she could get. Getting her other existing roommates, though, to participate in her level of excitement was the real challenge. It was fine when Avery hadn't arrived yet for Davina to think her decorations were kind of lame and for Vanessa to be presumably holed up in her room, but now that their new arrival was finally in the house, Joy took it upon herself to give Vanessa's door a light knock. "Hey," she greeted in a soft, singsong voice, "just me, checking in." Joy cracked the door to pop her head in, hoping she wasn't interrupting a therapy session or something important. "Avery's here, I don't know if you got a chance to say hello yet, but, let me tell you, her rabbit is probably the cutest thing I've ever seen. Like, why have we never had a pet before now? Anyway, if you haven't, maybe you'd just wanna make a quick little appearance downstairs?" Joy suggested, raising a hopeful brow.

[cryingnessa]

                      meet  vanessa satterly  !

                         24 — THERAPIST

favorite song? paper bag by fiona apple

sexuality? pansexual

pronouns? she/her 

there was an air of grief to vanessa that she could never understand where it came from nor could she really prevent it from happening. it simply happened to be that whenever anyone was around her, they'd be overcome with the same sentiment of dejection she naturally kept. the simplest way one could stop it from happening was to stop interacting with her altogether and, for some, that was a very easy choice to make. with her own parents even withdrawing from her company from time to time, the loneliness was something vanessa quickly became accustomed to. it was a wonder anyone managed to last a whole conversation around her before she had some handle on her abilities.

when she was a child, one could assume she had gone through some form of trauma that led her to be so emotional and cry at the drop of a hat but, no, it was just some magical power that had caused distress to her and those around her. by the time she managed to reduce the amount of public crying, it soon became a problem that every conversation wasn't of some cheery variation. she'd become known as a 'debbie downer' of sorts. it's not like she sought out the worst in any situation, she simply couldn't overlook what was wrong. over time, she learned to keep these things to herself. she thought she was making small talk but i guess not everyone saw it like that. when she'd finally gotten the sense that the mood shift she brought was part of some supernatural phenomenon, there was hope that vanessa could be 'normal'.

it had taken years of practice with a friend group who had understood completely how her powers could affect them so there was freedom to see what it was that could trigger certain depths of her abilities. there was an aura vanessa kept that was inevitable but it had become easier to maintain a conversation without someone wanting to shed a tear or finding an excuse to leave. she found that her powers worked most when she spoke for longer periods of time. her ramblings could go on forever and that was something she had to work on, she tries to keep sentences to a minimum of a few words if possible for this reason.

if one does find themself listening as she drones on and on about tragedies in modern day times, for example, one would first recognize a heightened sensitivity, whether it be about the topic she's going on about or regarding one's owns feelings. if allowed, she could easily access tears from this point on but it must be what the recipient needs. if they aren't truly sad then they can pass by with just feeling emotionally exhausted from the conversation. but if weighed down by stress, coming into tune with repressed feelings, or the overwhelming sensation of multiple emotions bursting in then one might find themselves reaching for the tissue box.

HC’s:

even though she can pull back her powers, she feels comfortable with her friend group to not have to rein it in all the time. she can be herself without too much conditioning and overthinking everything she's about to say.

wants to have her own private practice one day but in the meantime, works in a clinic that specializes in mental health. is also working on getting her certificate that specializes in trauma as she's become aware that more trauma therapists are needed on the island.

always feels like she's playing catch up. literally, she takes her time getting anywhere because she becomes easily exhausted as she follows people around. but also figuratively, ideas aren't always taken into consideration with her in mind so she just deals with the aftermath, much to everyones dismay.

hopes people miss her in her absence but understands if they don't. she considers her own self to be draining around and doesn't think that anyone should subject themselves to the possibility of crying if they don't want to.

revels in anything comfy: knitted sweaters; weighted blankets; stuffed animals; scented candles; rainy days; curling up with a good book; watching a romantic movie; letting a few tears out; wondering if she'll ever experience love like they do in the movies; knowing that if she signs up for dating apps she'll be let down; cringing at the way she puts herself out there only be disappointed - wait this was supposed to be a list of things she enjoyed.

she doesn't really like nicknames, they're fine but she'd rather be called by her name. she doesn't want to disappoint people by saying she doesn't like the nicknames they give her so she doesn't say anything.

is actually very forgiving, mainly out of the fear that if she isn't then that would just give people another reason not to be around her.

[cryingnessa]

[cryingnessa]

Inside Out (2015) dir. Pete Docter, Kelsey Mann

[cryingnessa]