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Im saying this not out of malice, but to help you. Your blog title is very very very very very very very bad. Like very yikes. I look at that and assume you're a 9 year old in 2006. Please. Don't.

It's almost like I haven't regularly used Tumblr since I was 14, haven't changed my theme in 5 years and don't give a shit lmao

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Chinese People : 1

White People : 0

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Well, I’ve basically accepted the Amy pregnancy storyline now. It only took me about 4 months. I’m almost excited to see the awkwardness that will occur between Adam and Jonah. Please Superstore writers, I beg you to make a scene where Amy is in the hospital in labor while Adam and Jonah silently stand in the waiting room and Jonah occasionally tries to make small-talk with is girlfriend’s ex husband.

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countries where prostitution is legal have higher rates of human trafficking. that’s like an actual fact. not an opinion or anything. so tbh it seems a bit ‘swerfy’ to completely ignore that

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The Office (2005–2013)

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does anyone have any tv show tracking apps they recommend bc i swapped to samsung and they dont have the app i used on my iphone

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spider-woman is tall british and sexy… jameela jamil is ALSO tall british and sexy… need i say more?

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So, when my maternal grandmother died, we had to find loving, permanent homes for all five of her cats because otherwise she would have risen from the grave to kill the entire family. We took in Chloe because Chloe was my grandmother’s favorite, and she made my mom promise to look after her. Now my mother treats Chloe like her third child, and the cat is basically plastered to her 24/7 when she isn’t hiding from some imagined enemy like the dustbuster or my dad’s footsteps.

Anyway, we wound up giving the rest of the cats to this couple that runs a joint called Kitty Korner. They try to find loving homes for all the cats they take in, but will care for the unadoptables (read: assholes) for the rest of their lives. That’s great, because one of the cats we gave to these poor women was Tobey. I have no idea why my grandmother ever adopted Tobey. He was a huge schmuck. The most handsome orange tomcat you ever saw, and he loved to crawl in your lap. But if you ever tried to touch him, he would switch immediately into Kill Mode and you could say goodbye to your hand. Needless to say, having him in your lap was awkward. It was like holding a bomb.

Kitty Korner sends us detailed letters every year to give us updates on how Tobey’s doing. Basically, they are status reports on how much of a douche Tobey is and continues to be. These women are saints. I guess they really like cats, because these letters are like a full page of single-spaced text. But more or less, they amount to:

2003: Tobey has a real colorful personality! But, uh, we don’t think he’s suited for adoption yet

2004: Nope, still not suited for adoption

2005: I think this is pretty much a lost cause

2006: WTF

2007: Tobey is trying to kill us and every other cat in the house

2008: Tobey is still trying to kill us and every other cat in the house

2009: Tobey is a vicious dictator and can only find pleasure in the subjugation of other organisms

BUT!!!! The past few years, Tobey has apparently been making steady improvement. And in our most recent letter, we have been informed that he is no longer doing things like venturing upstairs expressly to beat the living shit out of the other cats at Kitty Korner. He will also let you pet him, and when he’s had enough he’ll give a warning nip instead of removing your limb. In fact, Tobey, at a ripe old age of 14, is ready for a new home! With an experienced cat owner, comes the necessary caveat, and like… no kids. At all. Ever. Or other cats, probably. But at least he’s no longer a psychopath.

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I love Brooklyn Nine Nine with my entire heart.

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My parents have been married for 19 years and together for 20 and I asked them what they were doing for valentines and they both looked so disgusted and said it was commercial and they hated it and then my dad said to me that every year he sends her flowers her favourite chocolates and a card pretending to be a secret admirer because although they think it’s a stupid holiday he wants her to have chocolate and then I went to my mum and asked about her secret admirer and she said it was a running joke between them cause my dad spends the day saying he’s gonna beat up her secret admirer and they both know it’s him but it’s been going for twenty years and my mum keeps the cards and if that isn’t love idk what is

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favorite cold opens (3/?)