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[crazymonkey1980]

Another day, more progress

It’s ok here at PANSU. More space, nice and clean, a sweet neighbour.

I’ve been up and about quite a few times - a bathroom trip here, stroll down the hall there, and I ate supper sitting up in a chair! WOOHOO! I thank the strict regime of pills they’ve got me on.

I’ve went from feeling like I got hit by a bus and put through a meat grinder, to feeling like I’ve been mauled by a bear. Yes, that’s still a lot of pain, but the fact that every time I get up, it is easier, less painful, and takes less time means progress. Steps forward. Productive pain. Though my back muscles feel like they’ve been shredded, each stretch and step is one towards recovery.

I have to say I’m pretty proud of myself. I haven’t been too big of a baby - I’ve had my grouchy moments and cried, but I feel like I’m rocking this like a boss.

For about 3 years, I was on a progressive slide down the hill. Sometimes I’d feel ok and could manage better, but never getting better. I’d have to make choices - do that activity, pay for a day or three. Get up, go to work, smile and love up those kids - don’t let them see the pain.

Now, each excruciatingly painful shuffle-step is progress - Productive pain - and I’m taking each step with a genuine happy smile on my face. It’s been a long time coming and I’m ready to get my life back.

I’ve got my superhero cape on and I’m ready to rock and roll.

[crazymonkey1980]

Shop at Sobeys!!!!! Today, when Brent was leaving HSC to go take the kids for lunch, a man in a green elf hat walked over to him at the parking pay station and asked to pay for his parking. Brent was in awe. I cried when I heard about it. Our parking fees have been high (that’s an understatement) so this was such an awesome surprise. Our parking fee at that time was for the prior day, overnight, and this morning. About $40! They paid for it all! I know it’s all about the marketing, but it definitely made our day and warmed our hearts.

Thank you, SOBEYS!!!

[crazymonkey1980]

New home

As much as I’m making progress, it’s not enough to get released home. I’ve been transferred to PANSU - that’s the Post Acute Neuro Surgical Unit - at the Grace Hospital.

I saw physio at HSC yesterday and he got me up out of bed and to the bathroom. That was fun. I got up one more time yesterday as well.

Today I’ve been up a few times and did a stroll down the hallway and back to my room. That was more fun.

[crazymonkey1980]

Gettin’ it done

Got in, got out, got done.

Tears and fear are done. Well, ok, maybe not tears. I have the best people in my life. The kind words, encouragement, and support have been overwhelming.

I haven’t been able to reach out to everyone but I hope this blog makes its rounds.

They’re giving me pain meds as needed but I’m finding things pretty manageable. I guess when you spend so long at a 7-9 post surgery, recovery at a 7-9 isn’t really anything new.

Surgery was a little longer than the expected 4 hours - closer to 6, but I’m in my room now and feel pretty good (pain meds speaking, maybe? Lol)

I was brought to my room around 9. Got to talk to my kidlets - the girls, anyway. DB was sleeping. My Maddiekins sent me a cuddle buddy so I’ve got good company with Ozzie the Owl stuffie. My kids are the sweetest. ❤️

Emotions are a little high. I’m a crier. I’ve been reaching out to respond to messages a few at a time while I’m between naps. I feel the love. Thank you everyone. The best way to reach me is text or social media. Phone calls are tough; they’re rationing my ice chips until I prove that I won’t puke. Haven’t yet so a little confused. GIMME MY ICE CHIPS!!! So, that being said, the dry-mouth makes conversating a little tough. Lol

What a journey this has been...

Nap time. 😴

[crazymonkey1980]

It’s game day! Got my pretty dress on and I’m ready to go. 🍀

[crazymonkey1980]

Our friend, Orla, suggested this site to Brent that she uses often. It’s a meal sign up for friends and family to prep and deliver a meal to help out while a person or family is dealing with a situation that may put meal prep on the back burner (yes, pun intended - I’m a dork like that). Anyway...Brent got it all set up and we’d all be eternally grateful to anyone who’s willing to sign up and share a meal with us. https://mealtrain.com/828ed2 Much love to you all! Wish me luck, tomorrow is the big day! ❤️

[crazymonkey1980]

Countdown is on

Pre-op with anesthesiologist tomorrow morning. I’m excited but mostly scared. I’ve had ankle surgery twice and never felt this scared.

I want this surgery, and this year, to be over. Between my health issue, Brody’s recent diagnosis, Brent’s Mom’s health struggle, and now his dad’s recent scare, I just want to be healthy again so I can focus on helping them all more.

My neurosurgeon is Dr. Perry Dhaliwal and he’s a pretty cool guy. I was nervous to meet him as sometimes specialists are quite arrogant and abrasive. He was neither. He was calm, cool, confident, and collected. He explained the procedure and made me feel like he’s got this in the bag.

So here’s what’s going down (warning - some may find this gross - it’s surgery):

First the slice - From L1-L3 approximately (that’s back doctor speak for the spine area they’ll be dealing with). The tumour is located at approximately L2.

Then the dice - He’ll chop off the bone to access the nerve canal.

Then another slice - He’ll open the canal and assess the tumour to determine what needs to be done to get it out. He’ll test nerves to make sure that nothing significant is being affected, and possibly remove, if necessary, along with the tumour.

The stitch - then, he’ll close it all back up and pack it up with some fat (I suggested he take as much as he wants and extra since he’s already in there - he didn’t bite).

Then the rest - this is all about a 4 hour ordeal, so I’m told. Recovery room after for 1-2 more hours, then off to a room where I’ll have to remain immobile for 24 hours to ensure the canal heals closed and I don’t leak any spinal fluid - I’m told that would be a really bad thing, so fingers crossed. I’m guessing I’ll be highly medicated for this portion of the recovery. May not - or MAY BE - a good time to visit. Depends what they’re pumping through the bags. It could be a pretty good comedy show. Lol.

The not even going there - There’s a chance the tumour can’t be removed or can only be partially removed. I’m not even thinking about that. I’m keeping the optimism flowing and my glass is full. On Wednesday, I am going to be tumourless.

The other possibility - I get bumped due to emergencies needing the OR. Trying really hard to stay strong and positive. I feel hopeful and I feel ready. Just mother f*cking scared.

Recovery will be interesting. If surgery is simple and removal uncomplicated, I can be home in two days. Lots of medications and lots of restrictions, but it’ll be progress forward and that excites me.

We’ve had lots of people ask if we need anything, what they can do, or if we need any help. We have the best people. <3

Truth is though, I have no idea! Hahahaha. Right now we’re thinking help with meals - I’d hoped to have time to prep some freezer meals, but I got scheduled less than a week out and those freezer meals did not happen. I hope that we’ll eat more than bacon, eggs, spaghetti, and Eggos until I can stand long enough to cook again. Or maybe I’ll start a GoFundMe to help offset The SkipTheDishes bills. Lol

We’ll probably also need a babysitter - for me, not the kids. I’m pretty much stuck at home for a week, then go for stitches removal, then back home. I wont be able to sit for long but need to walk, with help, a little bit each day. I really love Brent but I know he’s going to drive me nuts. I want to make sure he gets a break and can still do his things so we might put the call out to ask for a Leslie-sitter.

I love company. I can’t promise I’ll always be fully coherent - pills make me tired, but when I am awake I love company. Our door is always open. :)

And I’m sure this kids would love a break from chores. My quest for a cleaner has sadly been thwarted ... again. *sigh*

If you feel up to dancing with my mop and broom, or singing with my dishes, I’m totally open to some Beauty and the Beast magic. Or I’m fine with the boring old way too. Really, anything would be amazing and sincerely appreciated.

Wish me luck! Wednesday is fast-approaching.

[crazymonkey1980]

Hi there! Since I’m finding it difficult to keep up with making sure everyone is in the loop with my health issue right now, I’m hoping this platform can help. Thanks for stopping in.

I haven’t blogged since college, but I need something to keep my brain busy while my body is down and out. Emotions are high and I get wiped out pretty easily these days but I’ll do my best to keep this short. Maybe I’ll break it up into a few posts. We’ll see as I go.

The backstory:

I’ve been struggling with back pain for a few years now but never could get an answer or long term solution. I downed insane amounts of anti inflammatory medications just to get through most days. Doctors didn’t have answers so I was referred to physio therapy. They guessed that I was dealing with a bulging disc and started acupuncture and an exercise regimen to sort that out. I was managing and getting by, but not getting better.

In January (this year - 2017), I slipped on my way in to work and felt a sharp stabbing pain shoot from my lower left side, above my hip, down my leg. I struggled through the day thinking I’d just re-aggravated the bulging disc issue I’d had prior. I left that day and went straight to my chiropractors office. He suggested a phone call to WCB, some time off work, and X-rays.

Then I visited my physiotherapist. The X-rays showed no damage to bones so we did treatments to try to help control/minimize the spasms. Nothing seemed to work.

I returned to work, part-time, but struggled. My days consisted of working and laying in bed. That’s all I could manage. My fiancé stepped in to manage the house and kids and I pushed myself beyond what I should have just to have some semblance of an involvement in life. I was in constant and agonizing pain.

By June, I was working 4 days a week. My experience with WCB was traumatic and heartbreaking. I didn’t feel supported or human. I felt like a number. I wasn’t recovering according to their expectations so therefore I was just some leach trying to take advantage of their system and I was treated as such. Quite rudely and with disrespect.

I was referred to their chiropractor for an evaluation. He assessed me and determined that he noticed I was showing signs of being in pain, but couldn’t diagnose an issue, so therefore recommended that no further inquiry or treatment should be pursued and that I should return to work. I felt dehumanized. I was being told that it was all in my head and I needed to get over it.

So that’s what I tried to do. I felt like no one could find a problem so there must not be one and I just needed to push myself harder. I pushed harder. I tried harder. My chiropractor pushed for my doctor to request an MRI so he did, and I got through to the end of the school year holding on to the hope that an MRI would be able to give me some answers.

Throughout July, I spent days in bed, doing nothing, while my kids were away with family or their dad. I was feeling ok after allowing myself time to do nothing. I fit in activities when the kids were home and rested while they were away. And I waited for the MRI that could hopefully provide some insight. It was scheduled for early September. I’d hoped to get in sooner on a cancelation but that luck was not on my side.

By mid-August, things took a turn. I started having more, and worse spasms, limiting my ability to walk and drive. The contant spasms and the severity of them was causing me to have issues with my shoulders and neck and I was getting headaches that would cause me to be sick. The countdown was on now, though. The MRI was coming up soon.

I started back to work a few half days that month and then full days in September. A few days back and then it was MRI day! I took that whole day off. Glad I did.

The test ended and the tech came in. She asked me if I could stay for a second test. The doctor there has seen the scan and wanted to run a second one using dye. I immediately knew that there was something that caught their eye. I was in pain but they allowed me to get up to move around for a few minutes before the second scan. When that one was done, I was sent on my way and told results would be to my doctor in 5-6 days.

When I got the message from my doctors office - that day! - I definitely knew something was up. I called immediately when they opened the next morning and they booked me in that afternoon. Expecting news of something to do with the disc or prior injury issues, the news I got hit me like a sack of hammers.

The MRI showed a tumour. A TUMOUR! What the actual f*ck?!?! Didn’t see that coming. And there I was, alone. I cried. Listened to my doctor, cried some more. He left me for a few minutes and then came back to explain what was going to happen next - a referral to a neurosurgeon. Great. Specialists are notoriously sloooooow…but he assured me things would move quickly now. I felt sick and overwhelmed.

I saw the neurosurgeon a month later. He was great. He sent a referral for a second, more thorough MRI (brain, neck, and full spine) as the first was just of my lower spine, and a follow up with him after that. I had an MRI on the 9th and I saw him again on the 14th. There was a little snafu with the MRI and they only did my brain so he assured me that they’d strongarm and get me in quickly for the other two (neck and upper spine). Three days later, I was in! Woohoo!

Now, our social is all wrapped up and we’ve got a surgery date for me: December 6.

Fingers crossed that I don’t get bumped.