cramblingkastle

[cramblingkastle]

‘I’m crazier than you, so say you love me too, from here on you’re singing to my soul…’

[cramblingkastle]

Leave Her to Heaven (1945)

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It would be so nice if anything would make sense for a change.

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Street poems. My topic was hope and this is what came to be.

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This was the coolest little side thing I've ever seen! I totally got a poem.

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“I’ve lived in this town my whole life, and most of the time that’s fine by me. But in late fall when the sky fills with birds migrating south for the winter, traveling thousands of miles, I get homesick for places I've never been. Places like...”

England and France. On occasion I have even dreamed about the Philippines and I don’t even know that they have to offer. Sometimes I just feel like there is an adventure waiting out there for me and I just have to reach out and take it. The only problem is that I am unsure how. College isn’t an option, as it costs money that I do not possess. All of the money that I earn goes to helping to pay my grandfathers medical bills. He has been severely ill for years now. My mother has been working 3 jobs to help cover expenses and make sure that there is food on the table. Once I had graduated high school, I got a job at the local supermarket to help out. Then maybe my mom would be able to take it a little easier, but she didn’t. She still has 3 jobs and we still don’t have extra money to spare. I am starting to believe that watching the birds fly out of this town is the closest I will ever get to getting a taste of adventure. I imagine the places that they go to. Somewhere warm where they get to make their home for free. Birds don’t have to make money to survive and have adventures. I do and I barely make enough to get by.

[cramblingkastle]

Complete The Story #2

“Perhaps it was a dream, she thought. Perhaps if she pinched herself, she would wake up. But she didn’t want to wake up. She wanted to stay in this dream world where…”

she was the one who finally got the life the had longed for. She was the one in the spotlight. Even if this didn’t last, she wanted to cherish every minute of it. Her song was out there and the whole world wanted to hear it. Her talent and passion was on display and  it was accepted. Her eyes began to glow as she listened to the radio playing her voice. A tear started to fall on her smiling face. He reached over to wipe it away. “It finally happened honey. I am so proud of you.” He grasped her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

She couldn’t feel it. She was too numb from everything that was happening. Her dreams finally came true. The hours staying up late to work on lyrics and chords, the lack of sleep from working two jobs to keep the bills paid. It all finally paid off. A million possible futures were running through her mind. He could see the worry start to cross her face. The music stopped suddenly. She looked over to him as his hand moved away from the power button. He looked her straight in the eyes, not taking a moment to glance away. “No matter what happens now, know that I will ALWAYS love you. I will always be here for you.”

She didn’t know that this would be the last time she heard him say those words.

[cramblingkastle]

Complete The Story #1

“At first we thought the black liquid was oil, that we’d struck it rich and that we’d be able to retire and live in leisure. We actually started writing down all the ways we’s spend the money. Our first choice was...”

 to spend it all on very expensive sports cars and trucks. We all were shouting out the luxuries that we wanted and gave a big cheer each time we heard a great one. A while after this was going on, we all started to detect an odd smell. It smelt like someone opened the gates of Hell. It was impossible to describe the stench. We had all worked on an oil rig before we went pursuing oil on our own, and this smelt nothing like it. This was far more foul. We started to go towards what we thought was the oil. It was a lot thicker than it was supposed to be. I could see that there was something in it. I put on an extra set of gloves and stuck my hand in to see what was in it. Even if we didn’t get rich on Oil, maybe there was something else worth while in this. I tried not to blow chunks as my hand blindly searched for something to grab onto in the sludge. Once I grabbed something I lifted it out and took it to the hose that we had to was our gear before loading our trucks. I washed it off and once I realized what it was, I nearly fainted. I collapsed backwards and dropped the thing. When the others heard my fall, they came out to see what was going on. Everyone was horrified by the object that was floating around in the pool of water on the ground. The chopped off and decomposing hand was facing palm up and moving back and forth as if it were waiving at us. I didn’t want to know what was in the rest of that sludge. 

[cramblingkastle]

“You were so beautiful… pale, and mysterious. No one even looked at the corpse. You bewitched me. I proposed that very night.” The Addams Family (1991)

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Living with Roommates.

For a year and a half before moving to Colorado, I was living by myself. I didn’t have to worry about washing any dishes but the ones that I used, and I only had to worry about myself. It was so wonderful. I was able to walk around nude if I really wanted to. I was free of restrictions. 

When I moved to Colorado, I didn’t have a job yet, so I had no choice but to live with others. That actually the only reason that I did move. My friend needed someone to help her with rent, so I came to the rescue. I thought that it would be a breeze. I had lived with many people that were not a great fit for my lifestyle. My friends seemed relaxed like me and not too heavy on the parties. I didn’t see what could go wrong. 

Little did I know that living with people again would make me very self conscious. I am aware of everything that I do and most times, I try not to do it. I hide in my room and try not to make any noise. I do not to be a burden to them. This was their place before I moved in and I do not want to impose. They already have their own way of doing things, and my mind tells me that anything I do will just mess that up. I do not want to be the roommate that they roll their eyes at when they hear that I am actually alive and doing something. 

As one part of my brain is telling me to just stay in my room and not leave when they are home, the other part is saying that you pay just as much rent as they do and you have a right to use your lights and electrical appliances as much as you would like. You should be fearless in the middle of the night when you want that late night snack or glass of water. If they do not like the way that they do things, then they can find someone else to live with them and help pay the bills. 

Since my brain is having this internal battle, I drift awkwardly in the middle of it all. I can not tell you how many times I have turned the volume on my music or movies down because I thought it was too loud, then turned it up because I couldn’t hear it. I would just go back and forth. 

Maybe one day I will feel comfortable enough with their ways and my own ways to be almost as free as in my own apartment. I hope that day is soon, because this self conscious tip towing that I am doing is starting to mess with my self esteem that was finally starting to grow after years of being minimal. 

[cramblingkastle]

First day on the job. Really excited! #starbuckspartner #starbucks #imready #firstday #yay #selca

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The moment you find a guy who knows who David Bowie is.

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It’s only forever, not long at all.

David Bowie, Labyrinth (via samarabeara)

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