cpyyder

[cpyyder]

I want to go out more. and I want to take pictures of myself. I want to be with my friends. and I want to hold hands. and spin around barefoot. on fresh grass. and we are laughing so much I need you to show me I’m real. you try to take your hands away from mine. I need you to tell me I’m real. and I’m clutching. and I’m shaking. and I’m begging. and you’re not laughing anymore. why aren’t we laughing anymore? but I never was. everything is blurry and my cheeks are wet. I am praying that I exist.

[cpyyder]

I eat as much as I can. I swallow all these words, but they upset my stomach. I throw them back out a mess of what they once were. Still I devour, still I gulp, yet I force my stomach to hold it. The taste is odd, bitter, unsavoury - does it not belong down my throat? Maybe I should eat with my eyes, maybe I should eat with my ears. How should I eat to feel full? How should I eat to understand?

[cpyyder]

2025 glow up

Drink water

Fraternize with no one. Live in complete isolation so as not to risk being disappointed ever

take walks

[cpyyder]

[cpyyder]

[cpyyder]

I have a lot of creative energy, yet I sit mindlessly scrolling through lobotomizing Instagram reels and TikToks. I've thought countless times about what to do about my restlessness, but I stay stagnant. I want to make something personal and honest with all of my favorite things. I worry if what I make will be enough for me, I doubt myself a lot but my contentment is getting harder to come by and I think I just need to do it

[cpyyder]

does anybody wanna frolic with me. does anyone wanna fucking dilly dally with me

[cpyyder]

we need to make using chatgpt embarrassing bc sorry it really is. what do you mean you can’t write an email

[cpyyder]

I feel like trump looking likely to beat a more competent and qualified female candidate twice, both being the only times a woman has been a nominated presidential candidate, is a real blow to the psyche for all women and girls in the U.S.. It seems to deliver a message of "no matter how put-together, professional, and smart you are, you will always lose to the dumbest, loudest man in the room."

[cpyyder]

Sometimes you see the moon during daylight because I miss you and I sent her to check in on you

[cpyyder]

I should be allowed into every museum’s archives actually

[cpyyder]

daylight doesn’t need any saving. i do

[cpyyder]

I am creating a life i don’t want to run from i am creating a life i don’t want to run from i am creating a life i don’t want to run from

[cpyyder]

[cpyyder]

pics I took on my walk today (8)

mostly mushrooms

[cpyyder]

[cpyyder]

me. me when a poem says something ive felt before