cozyrosystory

[cozyrosystory]

Sa Pa, Vietnam

[cozyrosystory]

Xin chao

For starters, 2019 will end in me deciding to start blogging again. 

I'm not sure if this will be a deserted space but I just need a diary - to remember and reflect - basically documenting the comings and goings of my adventurous (or not) life.

I recently came back from an eight day trip to Vietnam. There are no words to so specifically play adjective to my experience there. It was though, by definition, an adventurous merriment. I'm not sure if I want to blog about my travel experience in detail or of my cathartic journey. But I guess the latter would be more fulfilling to my writers' itch.

Vietnam gave me the gift of freedom. As with all travellers' syndrome, I was drowning in serotonin and good vibes. The diverse effects of being in a foreign place starts right as you are packing for said holiday. We visited a total of three places in Vietnam. I was really caught up in making absolutely sure of the transportations between these places. Because of that we didn't have much of a day-to-day itinerary. Which turned out to be perfect for the types of laid-back visitors we were. 

Yes, back to the topic of liberation. 

It was a bountiful of new experiences but within these, some of which were outright scares. Moments of panic only provided a heart racing (the good kind) adrenaline rush. It came from basic matters like getting off the right train station or just fresh out the plane 'culture shock'. All these pleasures were satisfying the part of my psyche that was hounding me for psychological and physical stimulation.

However much I was nitpicking on small stuff back home, I wasn't worried about when I was out of Singapore. The unfamiliarity gave me an air of arrogance against my insecurities. Especially in how I wore myself overseas. I didn't want to wear much make up; I was all for bearing skin and unkempt hair. I love every second of it. And I'm happy to say that I brought the mood home but the funks will inevitably re-manifest itself within the first week of being back.

While in a place where I don't speak the mother tongue, I also felt a push to be extra considerate and public-spirited. I practiced saying 'thank you' in Vietnamese (which I think failed because only two people the entire trip said it back to me). Seeking spiritual gratification from another person's homeland really puts into perspective how unkind you have been to the visitors of your own home. I think being consistently generous with courtesy and manners made me very aware of how I have allowed for so much negativity. These negativities were expressed in coarse behaviour and responses from myself. Genuinely, I know I’m not capable of exuding buddha calmness all year round in Singapore. Not yet. Although, an abundance of out of hometown holidays might finally raise me right.

It was an unworldly, surreal feeling to be waken up by sunrise peeking out from behind Mount Fansipan. 3,147 metres above sea level, I had so much to be blessed for but was particularly suppressing so much envy for the Sa Pa locals. I imagine there would be little to no crises in most of their lifetime, being able to taste mountain air, fruits and just fresh fucking produce everyday. 

I have most definitely been purged of most unhappiness and forlorn feelings. I know my heart promises a return to Vietnam in less than a year from now. I swear by all my limbs and city girl pinky.