cosmiclly

[cosmiclly]

in a solidarity room with no entry or exit,

a kid with a frozen heart is contained.

he is a child lost in an endless winter's spell.

his laughter is silenced.

his voice is no longer in reach.

most of his days are spent shivering,

praying for warmth.

he used to want to find a way out of this place.

out of his own psyche,

but there is no way out.

his heart is twinged with agony.

the caged, fragile soul that hold the wounds inside him is corrupted.

the wounds that are far deeper than the words that caused them.

its true, his heart was once vibrant and beating, but it is now trapped in eternal misery.

the frozen landscape deep within his flesh, is forever ridden with heartbreak.

his footsteps echo on empty ground, and tap a lonely symphony, hum a mournful song.

no warmth could thaw that hardened soul.

but beneath the frost that molds his mind, you may be able to hear the whispers of dreams he used to hold dear.

thinking about them suddens a flicker of hope, a spark waiting to ignite, but it is quickly snuffed out by the hand of his own mind. his own mistakes.

the kid with a frozen heart yearns for love's touch, to set things right with those no longer around.

but he is alone and forgotten.

there are others who see beyond his icy glare.

They could stoke the embers, kindle the flame. melt the frost.

but its not like that anymore.

he cannot be fixed.

gentle touch and words of encouragement may have thawed him in a younger state, but the ice veiling his face has become far too uncomplying.

he is broken and unmoving.

nothing will be able to change him.

so walk away and let the cold condemn him.

close your eyes and pretend he is gone.

if you cant see him does he even matter anymore?

if you dont care does he deserve to take up space?

if you approved of him would he still be here today?

maybe.

but thats not what happened.

you put him in there. you shoved him into that room and locked it. threw away the key.

you caused his despair.

yet here you are, crying over your own stupidity.

if i cant see you do you even matter anymore?

if i dont care about you do you deserve to take up space?

maybe.

before the cold his answer would be compassionate, would tell you about love and kindness.

but now there isnt even an answer.

[cosmiclly]

the satiny sheets conformed me.

they wrapped around my frail self with silk and cotton.

the itch in the head moved to behind my eyes,

behind my soul.

and it wont stop itching,

it wont stop burning,

it wont stop breathing.

stagnant air is replaced with its voice.

i can hear it. its getting louder now. it’s whining.

it pricks into my brain with its barbed fingers.

it’s abrasive and it’s broiling.

the thorns pulsate and throb.

it tells me things that should stay unspoken.

it splinters into a new form everyday.

it gets worse and worse.

the scratching, scalding heat from its words,

are engraved into my psyche.

id love to just tell it to

shut up. go away. leave me be.

and hopefully it would listen.

but it doesnt work that way.

it wants me to be gone.

so, i slumber.

die.

the blistering mess my mind is in will have rest.