My experiences, drawings and creative writing following psychedelic experiences. #dmt #trip #ayahuasca #therapy #medicine #spiritualexperience #psilocybin
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Since I last wrote a lot and nothing has changed, short term problems have opened door to energies and entities I know have served a purpose to shape me further and cause me great pain and given me great insight to how this universe works. On the equinox and coincidentally full moon in March 2019 I write having met Mother Nature and the embodiment of the perfect collective consciousness she is over the past week and will meet her again this evening. She has given me both turmoil and peace within my place in this universe but as always invited me to her homely embrace to make sense of all she could, withholding that which I am still not ready to see, but enough to propel me there with purpose.
This is the current sickness of man. The society we inhabit focuses on consumption, our place in this transition in the universes lineal span and our dimension has led to scientific and industrial growth and progress. And I have been led to believe other civilisations have harnessed spirituality in the same way in the past. Spirituality and science are polar opposing but symbiotic partners, during the various eons of humanity they have at times dominated, diminished and existed in harmony of one another respective of their own periods in our known history, however more and more I’ve been led to believe like in times of religious and spiritual dominance there have been individuals who have pursued science so to now are there individuals who must pursue spiritual exploration in order to aid the group collective on humanities journey through this dawning new celestial age.
In my search for answers in all things spiritual, a task which has become at the forefront of my priorities since DMT’s inception a new perception of my reality. That illness of consumption and the individual while before my norm, has become in comparison abhorrent to me. And as before as easily as I spiralled through my environment to that illness now I spiral towards the answers to religion, spirituality and the metaphysics of this universe which before seemed and alien subject to me. My hunger to be at one with nature is a thirst I am unable to quench but enjoy drinking from the fountain of with every breath of my being. My absolute hatred of institutionalised religion which let me to pursue a path of slight agnostic atheism has been replaced by a curiosity to find truth in the accounts of religious experiences and texts and see through the metaphor by consciousness now speaks in and find truth in the beauty of every text and account. The experiences since I last properly wrote both physically and spiritually have been what the former me would have called deranged and impossible. If I had a conversation with my former self before say taking and finding the means to find my own psilocybin mushrooms that I would encounter images which were intended to scare me, to lead me on a path to greater answers of the universe I live in and my own experience in this dimensional life; I would have laughed and cast you aside with the flat earth theorists I to this day am exhausted by.
However my reality is that over a series of these experiences both with psilocybin and DMT I have encountered personifications of my own childhood traumas and adult traumas caused by learnt behaviours which were subject of my environment, and despite spiritual growth on a level I never thought possible my own human sickness is still a battle I fight. At times this presence while at its strongest has brought my life seemingly to a standstill and had me confused and questioning everything I was led to believe over 2018. When in a moment of sheer desperation DMT came back into my life as promised when I was at the point of breaking and open as I was when I was first awakened; to seeing further down the proverbial rabbit hole. And did it show up in the most spectacular of fashions as before, and as it will again as I continue down this path. Reassurance, ambition, purpose renewed, and my usual delving too deep into the universe have seen me thrive and buckle under the immense tests that DMT provides in the days and weeks following a break through meeting.
Even in those moments of doubt however the signs are as apparent as ever. The birds speak metaphors for my thoughts as I walk through the woods, the frequency with which the plants around me would usually commune during a DMT trance feel present through meditation and time with nature, grounding and the use of crystals, and the ticking clock accompanied with methods with which I MUST raise my vibration are coming thicker and faster than ever. All manner of new age and scriptural practise have been my area of study for months now. Established religions myths and quasi historical texts coupled with instructions during this experiences have given me the rituals and magic I need to create a life in which I am at one with my environment and further grow my relationship with the universal energies humanity can not unlock without connection to the group consciousness in any respect.
The fable of expulsion from a place of gods paradise, mass extinction due to flood and prophets bearing the messages of god have become to closely resembling to be coincidence, as coincidence has taken on a new meaning in my life. From texts such as the book of Enoch to Genesis my views towards socially practised religion have been given reassurance that I am at least heading in the right direction in life. However the metaphor of the garden of Eden has recently become apparent to me. Humanity in its current state left the garden of Eden when it chose or evolved to harness nature. The balance we once maintained in ancient and prehistoric times is now unbalanced by our growing population which is a product of humanities attempts to tame nature. Through this loss of balance however humanity has achieved levels of ingenuity which I do believe have never been possible before, like everything in life these paths of progress are subject to corruption, however regardless of adversity progress always marches on.
In every micro and macrocosm the universe shapes itself in the same methods of survival and as the body heats and purges a virus from it so to is the earth currently showing signs of its sickness caused by this massive unbalance. I do believe this is the natural cause of the universe .As I do not subscribe only to the self as an identity my need to attach to the notion of the present societal norm as something which should be preserved has given me peace that this finite period in history will end, and end it must. However the combination of consciousness and invention I am certain is key to our collective accession to a higher form of life and I am being led blindly to this conclusion while being taught spiritual practises which reflect my own individuality while accessing the collective consciousness. Through states of trance which DMT and Psilocybin have induced ritual which differs but resembles those which religion would practise have become second nature; and have served to reassure me of their validity in religious practises and not a spiritual setting.
I used to write with beauty, now I write with conviction, I strive currently towards finding that balance along with balancing every other energy in my life, such is the human condition in this time. Where as once I expressed my experiences through metaphor as this life has become my norm I am overcome with a belief which negates the need to entice a potential reader with the elaborate because what I now know is more elaborate than I can describe.
I intend to write again upon my return from infinity this evening, however I know from experience this is not always to be the case.
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