johnlockifconvenient

[johnlockifconvenient]

One thing I like to do to derail unproductive social whining is to loudly announce that my butt hurts. This is a tactic I primarily employ at family functions but is also delightful while in close proximity to people being mean to retail and service workers

[johnlockifconvenient]

literally my favorite type of tweet

[johnlockifconvenient]

sometimes when I’m being especially self deprecating and convinced no one likes me I have to tell myself “you’re being goob. you are being goob right now”

[johnlockifconvenient]

You. It’s always you.

[johnlockifconvenient]

British airplane: *falls by terrorists*

UK & USA: *all their plans revealed and cancelled*

Terrorists: *having a party*

Irene Adler: *has a list of requests and ideas for her protection*

Mycroft Holmes: *destroyed*

Jim Moriarty: *victory*

Sherlock: I imagine John Watson thinks love is a mystery to me

[johnlockifconvenient]

no yeah guys I’m pretty sure we should keep digging. I mean, what could possibly be down there?

[johnlockifconvenient]

We really can’t blame Hannibal for his crimes because this is how Will’s chair looked like when he left therapy, free my man he did all that but I get it 😫🍑

[johnlockifconvenient]

the face journey sherlock goes thru when deciding whether to confess his love to john or not on the tarmac. like

[johnlockifconvenient]

In the club freakin it Wilson style

[johnlockifconvenient]

[johnlockifconvenient]

adulthood is just begging doctors to let you pee into their wretched cups

[johnlockifconvenient]

My sister sent me this photo today with zero context and I laughed so hard I couldn’t breathe

[johnlockifconvenient]

intercutting Chase and Cameron’s wedding with Wilson dropping House off at the psychiatric hospital was such a Choice. They really said “for better or for worse. in sickness and in health”

[johnlockifconvenient]

if house md were running in 2024 there would be an episode with a patient who identifies as an ‘online content creator’ (cagily) where house agrees to take the case primarily because when he offhandedly refers to her as an onlyfans model both cameron and cuddy get really offended and say it’s a sexist assumption so he doubles down and becomes committed to finding the patient’s onlyfans and proving it. at some point it would be revealed that chase actually is an onlyfans model and started doing it as a stopgap after his dad died and he suddenly got disinherited but he makes so much money off it that now medicine is basically just a hobby. cameron and foreman both disagree with the concept online sex work but it turns out they disagree for different reasons (cameron thinks it’s exploitative and not-feminist, foreman finds it distasteful and thinks people should get ‘real jobs’) and spend most of their scenes together arguing about this while chase gets continually more shifty. they break into the patient’s house and there’s a full ringlight and camera setup which seems to confirm house’s suspicions. while trying to find the patient’s onlyfans house accidentally finds chase’s onlyfans instead and considers publicly embarrassing him about it like he did with wilson’s sex tape but soon realises that most of the staff at the hospital are already subscribed to chase’s onlyfans so makes fun of him for that instead. it then transpires that the reason why the patient is so cagey about being a content creator is that she’s an ASMR artist and all the soap she’s been shaving on camera has irritated her lungs. cuddy is about to make house give her 20 extra hours of clinic duty as recompense but at last minute it’s revealed that the website the patient uses for some of her bonus commissions is, drumroll…onlyfans, because she’s been banned from patreon. how does house know this? wilson is subscribed to her because the soap videos sometimes soothe him to sleep. something by cigarettes after sex plays. roll end credits.

[johnlockifconvenient]

sunset/sunrise and the Victorian intimacy of a first name

[johnlockifconvenient]

flatmates…friends…whatever you calling them

[johnlockifconvenient]

VIGGO MORTENSEN as ARAGORN

in THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE TWO TOWERS (2002).