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Yeah I dabble in alchemy *stirs ramen flavor packet into the broth*

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A: I am ✨fashion✨

B: If you were actually ✨fashion✨, you wouldn’t say things like “I am ✨fashion✨” out loud

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Welcome to the Waiter Harassment Association: you got the food, we got the rude

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A: Have a nice day!

B: MAKE ME

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You wake up one day with the coolest heckin bat wings ever

but...

no one else can see them

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Character concept: they’re cursed to be incapable of lying but they get around it by answering things in an obvious sarcastic tone

Example-

B: Why are you so tired today?

A: I was fighting gObLiNs until fOuR AM

B: Alright fine don’t tell me

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Take a mental break

It’s much more preferable

To a mental brake

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James: You remind me of the babe

Meowth: What babe?

Jessie: The babe with the power

Meowth: What power??

James: The power of voodoo

Meowth: Who do??

Jessie: You do

Meowth: Do what???

James: You remind me of the babe

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(Tune of Prince Ali)

It’s-a me, not Luigi! It’s-a me, Mario!

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Character concept: Fairy with fluffy cloud wings and her name is Cumulus, goes by Umi for short

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Five: Pull the lever, Luther!

Five: Wrooong leveeeeeerrrr!!!

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A: Oh my God I can’t believe they did that UUGGHHHH!

B: You know, it’s better to just forgive them. Don’t hold onto anger, life is short.

A: Well so’s my temper, B!

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AU where wishing on birthdays/11:11/eyelashes/etc. actually works

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Just realizing that this blog would be good for incorrect quotes should the need arise 👀

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*clicks pen aggressively on face*

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*cracks knuckles before making a peanut butter sandwich*

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What do old ladies use to bake cookies?

Gramma Radiation👉👉