comettingmurder

[comettingmurder]

been stewing on an analytical approach to fiction which I call "is this book afraid of me?" and in order to answer this question you determine how hard the book is trying to make sure you don't come after the writer on twitter

[comettingmurder]

Just remembered when I was a child I found a christian webpage arguing that hydrothermal tube worms support the existence of hell because of something in the bible about hell having demonic worms in it that eat your soul and I wrote a lengthy angry email about how tube worms can't be connected to evil because they are beautiful gentle beings who cannot hurt anything and just sway peacefully forever sustained by the vent itself, the most innocent creature there coupd ever be.

They never responded to me so obviously I hope they DIED. fucking bastards !!!! 😡😡😡

[comettingmurder]

I'm eating it

ok, I want you to imagine that I have placed a tiny little wizard in the palm of your hand. they are no more than a few inches tall.

I hope you enjoy the rest of your scroll on tumblr today, thank you

[comettingmurder]

I love this goofy piece of broccoli, he's perfect

BONK *fanfare*

[comettingmurder]

I don't want Elon Musk to kill himself because that would get him some sympathy from liberals and "oh so you don't care about mentally ill people?" would become a common line. Ideally I'd like him to be assassinated Luigi-style, but again that runs the risk of him becoming a martyr. No, the best way for him to die is in a stupid accident of his own creation, which I'm frankly shocked hasn't happened yet. Y'know like Tesla malfunction, falls over the non-OSHA-certified guard rails in his own factory, SpaceX explosion, crushed to death trying to fuck one of his ugly robots, ect.

[comettingmurder]

Ive been seeing more and more ai fan 'art' and I just want to say that I'd rather see your shitty photoshop skills and stick figure doodles than the lifeless dead eyed renderings of a forest killing machine that scalped millions of images from real artists. Ty.

[comettingmurder]

Cats are already the perfect creatures, simple as can be

had a dream that someone was showing me this camera that could render anything it photographed "flawless." So like it could remove blemishes from people's faces, but also if you took a picture of a cracked glass there would be no crack in the resulting image.

Obviously this is kind of existentially horrifying but that's not the point of this post.

The point is that when dream me got the camera I immediately turned the lens onto my cat to see what she would look like "perfect." And she looked exactly the same.

[comettingmurder]

Who wants to go start an AI-free imperialistic society on a desert planet and get eaten by space worms with me?

me as a kid reading Dune: I appreciate the detailed world-building that justifies why everyone fights with swords and has mental powers, but the idea of a Butlerian Jihad against computers is pretty silly

me in 2025, trying desperately to find the three (3) places you need to go to to disable the latest helpful AI assistant that's inserted itself into my work chat and is advising me to do things that would be a breach of federal law: Oh Now I Get It

[comettingmurder]

I spend most of my day being the stupidest motherfucker alive, and then I remember that I am somehow almost legally allowed to fly a plane. Like, who's decision was that? Who thought that was a good idea???

Not complaining, I like flying, but I have a feeling this is gonna result in a national tragedy.

[comettingmurder]

INCREDIBLE

[comettingmurder]

I GOT SO SCARED THIS WAS REAL FOR A MOMENT BEFORE READING THE USER

Weird Al died.

[comettingmurder]

I don't think fantasy writers play enough with the concept of the different fantasy races having distinct ethnicities. Like imagine a group of mixed peoples, where the dwarves are all roasting each other like dwarves do, and one of them remarks that when he first saw one of the other dwarves in the group, he mistook her for a man. The other dwarves in the group blink in surprise - the closest that dwarves will go to an audible gasp of shock - and she pulls out a knife and tries to stab him.

Once the dwarves have been separated from each other and the situation has calmed, one of the humans asks another dwarf what that incident was about. Naturally a human woman would have been insulted too, but dwarves are so jovial about insulting each other, why was this matter different?

And the dwarf who was asked explains that there are things you can brutally insult another dwarf about, and there are things you simply do not touch. The dwarf-woman in question is from a completely different region of The Great Underground as the others, and her people have different norms about what kind of patterns men and women braid into their beards. The dwarf insulting her wasn't only insulting her appearance, he was being racist.

The human is surprised to learn that dwarves have different peoples, and the dwarf looks at them like at an idiot. Of course they do, they even look completely different from each other. And the human listens as the dwarf lists off various distinguishing clothing details too nuanced for a human to notice, and then how dwarves coming from different corners of the world have different physical traits, according to what kind of conditions their local stone types dictate.

The human spots a connection and goes oh! We have that too, though ours are not about rock types and tunnel air, but the weather aboveground. Humans' facial features vary by how hot, cold, arid or windy their ancestors' homelands were, and our skin tone varies by how much the sun shines in their native region.

The dwarf frowns at the last part, going "I thought you people just paint your skin and dye your hair for fun", and the human admits that yeah, we do that too, but not all the time, and not the whole skin. The dwarf asks, what of that tall woman the colour of dravite, her palms and the soles of her feet were lighter than the rest of her. Does that mean she paints herself dark to be more beautiful?

The human says no, that just happens naturally. Maybe it's because one's palms and feet aren't exposed to the sun as much, so they are paler.

The dwarf nods, still unsure whether this is actually legit or just the human habit of lying for fun, and proceeds to ask about the wild northman of their party. He is as pale as an olm, but the palms of his hands and the soles of his feet are dark. Are they painted, or naturally that way?

No, the human answers. That guy just doesn't bathe.

[comettingmurder]

y’all really recommend books like: title, there are gay characters, enemies to lovers, young adult, written by poc

not once do i ever see a summary

[comettingmurder]

I spent a lot of time handcuffed and in a cage in high school, for a charity bit the grocery store I worked at would do

the bit was that I was "put in jail for having too big a heart" and customers could donate to my bail to get me out (and the money would go to a children's hospital or something)

now. I was very clearly a teenaged employee handcuffed inside a large cage. and I would honestly tell people that I had been in there for hours. and people would say, that's terrible! that's awful! and I would show them my wrists red from the tight handcuffs, and say but I'm sooooooo close to making bail.

and then they would dump some cash in the basket, I'd thank them, and they'd walk away.

and every so often, one of the managers would come by and collect some of the cash, so I could keep being soooooo close to making bail.

I was very good with this bit. Parents with small kids would pay $5-10 if I told their children I had been placed in jail for not cleaning my room/doing my homework, etc. For people in their 20s, I'd threaten that I was very bad at playing the harmonica, but I WOULD play it and we'd all suffer unless they paid me. and for the most amount of money, older men in suits would almost always pay $20s if I avoided eye contact and stammered a lot.

eventually, the managers started to feel bad because I was in the cage so fucking long and often, that I'd need someone to brace me when I got out because I'd have no feeling in my legs. wobbling like a newborn giraffe.

but I would also rake in at LEAST $100 an hour in charity.

so they were like, hey champ. can we, uh, give you a pillow to sit on. in the cage. would you like a pillow so you're not just sitting on a cold metal slab. can we give you a pillow.

and I had to explain to them that if they gave me a pillow, people would think I was more comfortable, so they wouldn't feel as bad, so I'd bring in less money.

the compromise was that they'd bring me a nice coffee every couple hours, which I would have to try to block with my body from the customers.

all this money went to charity. that's what the money was for. it's what was on the sign. but how much they were willing to pay was very contingent on how comfortable I looked, never mind the fact that I was still a teenaged employee handcuffed inside a cage.

and out of the dozens of shifts I did this on, not ONCE did ANYONE say, hey kid I'm going to go talk to your manager because what the fuck is going on here. they would just drop money in the basket, and I'd thank them and sip from my secret drink.

I actually had people get MAD at me that I told them I was far away from bail, they donated like $15, and then 20 minutes I got let out because my shift ended.

again. the money was for charity. it was on the sign that was very clearly placed on the upper half of my cage.

so yeah. even when people think they mean well. people can be really, really fucking stupid.

[comettingmurder]

I think it was a terrible idea for an English teacher to give a class of high school students a blank sheet of paper and then tell them that each person has to come up with one line of a poem that will end with "We're brave and strong. This is where we belong!"

Anyways, here's the results:

Six-Seven

The woods are off limits to a curious child

The stories tell of a violent presence

A story of a man most wild

A man named Steve

Steve lives in the woods with wild dogs

Dogs with a harrowing presence about them

Dogs with a hungry appetite

Dogs that feast on curious children

Dogs that are always watching from the shadows

Steve went into a cave at night

Don't mine at night

Cause if you do

The ones who watch will be watching you

The one thats watching you goes by the name Herobrine

The cave is his home

His hiding place where no one dares to go

Known for kids sudden disappearance In the dark, deep below

Parents go down there to try to get clearance

A sight to see

Its dark like the park

Hit the arc in the dark

Quick to embark on the arc

Dropping the teachers lounge

Chilling on the couch

Making parents proud

Writing a useless poem

Making everyone frown

Big stinky fart

On the fortnite battle bus

We're brave and strong. This is where we belong!

[comettingmurder]

MANIFESTING

[comettingmurder]

This is absolutely fucking amazing- Like, I would wanna see a Zelda movie animated in this style

i have new emotional support