collegevampire

[collegevampire]

Can someone explain why shutting down a panic attack feels so much like bullying? I have this friend with mental health issues and reassurance/trying to suggest solutions to whatever they’re panicking about only seems to make things worse so I’ve started becoming the most sarcastic POS in the world whenever I see them starting to spiral. “Bitch, have you eaten today? Eat a damn Snickers!”; “IDK I just work here.”; “Don’t mind me, I’m watching Shrek in my head.” ;“It’s soup, Hitler ain’t gonna crawl out of hell and shoot you.”; *Presents cat meme* “Do it for them.”; *Squeezes both shoulders and makes uncomfortable eye contact.* “Listen, there is no right or wrong answer. I am asking you because I genuinely don’t give a fuck. There are no consequences and no one is gonna shoot you. Now do you want to eat in at Chipotle or take it to the dorms?”

[collegevampire]

The dumbest reason I’ve ever stared at book series has got to be the reason I started Sarah J. Maas’s Castle of Glass. Imagine: 13-year-old me innocently swimming through the Young Adults’ section of the library when a particular title catches my eye and I immediately start thinking of my then favorite Nightcore song “Castle of Glass.” In hindsight I was too young to be reading that book but in my defense, that little kiddie filter in your head that has you miss all the dirty jokes and innuendos in media didn’t turn off for me until I like 16. I remember talking about how much I liked this author’s work to my aunt and she looked shocked that little reserved innocent me would be into spicy books like those. And I quote “she has some things in there that made even me blush.” Funny thing was that I’d completely glossed over those parts of the books. It hadn’t even occurred to little old me that there smut until she mentioned it. I was like, “Oh…yeah…guess there are some spicy parts.” I genuinely didn’t give a FUCK that there was smut in my book. I just wanted the read about the otherworldly horrors beyond our comprehension and the mysterious runes and the witches with iron teeth riding wyverns into battle. So anyway, I’m asexual now.

[collegevampire]

How the FUCK did I lose the Tumblr app icon on my iPad?! I know it’s on here. It pops up as a recommended app. It just isn’t here. Did I hide it and forget?! Why only Tumblr? I’ve never done this to any other app. If I did it to forget I did a crappy job.

[collegevampire]

What do we do to a Dungeon Master,

What do we do to a Dungeon Master,

What do we do to a Dungeon Master,

Early in the campaign;

Roll Constitution to fuck the dragon,

Roll Constitution to fuck the dragon,

Roll Constitution to fuck the dragon,

Early in the campaign;

Way-ay an’ up e’ rises,

Way-ay an’ up e’ rises,

Way-ay an’ up e’ rises,

Early in the campaign.

[collegevampire]

I can’t believe I used to freak out over writing 300-500 word essays in school. I’m pretty sure my resume has more words. Hell, I’ve written plot summaries for stories I will never write that are longer.

[collegevampire]

I just got a new keyboard and it clicks really nicely so I’m just posting so I get to use it more. My serotonin hasn’t been this high in a long time. I’m actually tempted to start writing fanfic for a fandom I haven’t been a part of for 3 years just so I get to use this keyboard more. Seriously, it has a little GIF playing in the corner and the keys light up when I press them. I feel like a GOD!

[collegevampire]

I spent 3 hours interviewing for a job today only to realize that it was a scam.

[collegevampire]

I just walked into my dorm’s kitchen and found two of my roommates listening to the nightcore version of Angel with a Shotgun while eating cookie dough and thought, “These are my people.”