coldincolorado

[coldincolorado]

Dear Diary,

I forgot about a Friendsgiving and now I’m going crazy I ate not a crazy amount but too much to be happy with my life, I’m fasting until I’m forced out to dinner with family tomorrow

Good night

Jan

[coldincolorado]

Dear diary,

Ok so I drank too much and ate too much but my embarrassing walk home plus lowered limit today should fix it. I burned 840 calories and I’m pretty proud of that.

I swear I’m trying

Jan

[coldincolorado]

future fridge ★

[coldincolorado]

The Things I’ll Wear When I’m Smaller…

[coldincolorado]

Dear Diary,

OH MY GOD IM DOWN 2 MORE POUNDS 173!!!

Ahhhhh, still fat, but slightly less gross

Good morning!!!

Jan

[coldincolorado]

Dear diary

God I feel gross, it’s not even food related it’s my boyfriend saying he thinks it’s hot that I’m bigger. It makes me sick and feel out of body and I’ve told him that and he still says it to try and make me more confident when it’s like I shouldn’t be confident in my current body it’s nasty

Put me out of my misery

Jan

[coldincolorado]

Dear diary,

I ate 894 but burned 778 through walking and sprinting for a net goal of 116!

I feel proud, even if I ate too much I burned it off, I don’t know if you believe in net calories but I sure as hell do

Goodnight

Jan

[coldincolorado]

Dear diary,

Fuck my life I forgot my adhd meds and my hunger was so bad yesterday, I hate like 1500 calories and wanna die

Fuckkkkk myyy lifeeee

Good morning

Jan

[coldincolorado]

Dear Diary,

I feel so hungry, I ate too much and had to burn 500 calories on the treadmill

And now I’m hungry again, and I’m drinking diet soda and feel like shit

It’ll be worth it

Goodnight

Jan

[coldincolorado]

dear diary,

OH MY GOD, IM DOWN 3 POUNDS, THIS IS INSANE

AHHHHHH ITS WORKING IVE BEEN STUCK AT 178 FOR SO LONG AND NOW ITS 175

YAYYYY

Goodmorning!!!!

Jan

[coldincolorado]

Dear Diary,

I did good yesterday!! Total of 624 net of 500!!

Today I’m gonna do good too

I’m feeling better about life

It’ll be worth it

Good morning!

Jan

[coldincolorado]

Dear diary,

Doing good. 586 with a step count of 14k plus I had 30 minutes of practice with a 2 hour lift

I feel that I’ve burned the sins of yesterday off, very bloated, will weigh in tomorrow after fasting for 15 hours

Goodnight

Jan

[coldincolorado]

Dear diary,

I fucking failed, I’m so damn gross, I ate too much at the dining hall cause I was so fucking depressed about my life being so damn miserable right now. I’m back to 500 calories a day

Goodnight

Jan

[coldincolorado]

Dear diary

I think I did good today, I had a total of 792 and a net of 493 with the walking and running I did today. I even was able to fit in a tiny cup of soft serve. I don’t feel gross and I also realized my adhd meds are also prescribed for binge eating so if I take them regularly again I should be ok

Goodnight

Jan

[coldincolorado]

Less of a dear diary and more of a cry for help

I have such a problem with cravings and the need to feel actually full more than anything, does anybody know how to help aid this?

Ill take anything im desperate and fat even if im down a bit of weight

Jan

[coldincolorado]

Dear Diary,

Im doubly icky gross I feel so sick all the time fuck. I’m working out more, I’m firmly back on the train of self hatred and no more food. Party photos came back and someone needs to take me out I look like a beached whale.

I found a workout routine and it’s supposed to get you fit like a VS model

Kill me now

Goodnight

Jan

[coldincolorado]

Dear Diary,

I’m fucking gross, I’m so gross, I don’t think I’ll eat for the next few days. My few calories will come from drinking my problems away. Fuck my life. I’m short and I’m fat and I’m slow and I don’t know what I did to deserve this. Everyone around me is model hot and I feel like the fat best friend in a 90’s sitcom. Not to mention someone made a ‘fridge protects the snacks’ joke when my friend asked me to keep an eye on her and not let her go home with anybody at a house party.

I just want to be pretty…

Goodnight

Love, Jan