cokezuko
Stoned ATLA
117 posts
Idk man, I vibing hereNo minors plz nothing against ya but you get it.
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cokezuko Ā· 23 days ago
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The whole thing about being out of weed for weeks at a time is your asking the question
Am I actually wanting to stop smoking or am I just saying that to cope with being broke?
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cokezuko Ā· 24 days ago
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Cheese
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cokezuko Ā· 2 months ago
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Wait staff at Bruceā€™s galas
Ya know the whole ā€œBruce hates talking to socialites at a galaā€ thing, I imagine in all his Brucie-ness to get out of it he develops a reputation of just, spending entire galas talking to the servers, at a certain point it becomes a standard at these things that is Brucie starts asking ā€œoh what do you do for funā€ or ā€œyou ever heard of gray ghost.ā€ And at first reporters are speculating that maybe Bruce is trying to flirt with the staff at these things till an interview with one of the servers came out and he was just like ā€œhe went on a REALLLLY long tangent about one plot line in likeā€¦ a murder mystery or something and then we started talking about penguins, cause Iā€™m studying zoology and he asked me about like their behaviors and stuff, went on a tangent about how once a he tried to run after a penguin and broke his nose slipping on the ice, and gave me eighty grand for my college and then asked if I knew how to make wontons. It was actually a lot of fun, at the end of the evening he thanked me for all my help too, even though I spent the entire night just chatting with him I didnā€™t actually work much that night, haha but it was greatā€ and just more stories about Bruce come out of him having the most random conversations with the staff and their all ā€œoh haha Bruce is so funny with these crazy topicsā€ but never realize that he is just so lasered in as Batman that he finds ways to speculate anywhere he goesā€ while also getting out of talking to shamarmy richler number 3 by the drink table again.
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cokezuko Ā· 2 months ago
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Did you see that Mr strange made a video on you
(Cock softening, tilting its head to the side as it does so as if confused) What? No... No there must be some mistake...
(Looks online, shocked and enraged)
(Now completely flacid and PISSED OFF)
WHAT????????!!!!!!!!
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cokezuko Ā· 3 months ago
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cokezuko Ā· 3 months ago
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Megladon
So like, we all know the things of ā€œmaybe itā€™s still out there! Spooky!ā€ But picture this the megladon is an ancient Percy Jackson monster and there is only one of them and itā€™s in the sea of monsters somewhere for it, I need that as a monster battle, I want Percy to unlock megladonian shark god lore god damnit!
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cokezuko Ā· 3 months ago
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Itā€™s an experience when your stressing over being a bad friend and not doing enough, then the next time you hang out you realize that theyā€™re so used to bad friends the bar is in hell and you suddenly are feeling a mixture of relief and even intenser guilt over it.
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cokezuko Ā· 3 months ago
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cokezuko Ā· 3 months ago
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You ever go to someoneā€™s house and they donā€™t have drinks, like even tap water is a foreign thing for them and they look at you crazy for asking, and your trying to be chill but internally your just like ā€œdo you consume liquid? This is the third instance of this barb are you okay?ā€
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cokezuko Ā· 4 months ago
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HD Draco is a bit unhinged fic recs
Here are a few recs where Draco is a bit unhinged. Listed in alphabetical order.
(Fucking) Harry Fucking Potter by @bixgirl1 [6k]
It had to have been a dream, didnā€™t it? ā€¦Fuck.
Always the Last to Know by @nv-md [10k]
ā€œIā€™m not napping,ā€ Harry mumbled, his face still pressed to the floor. ā€œIā€™m thinking.ā€ ā€œSalazar help us,ā€ Draco muttered, walking around Harryā€™s prone body. Out of the corner of his eye, a bit blurrily, Harry watched as Draco lay beside him. ā€œAnd what, pray tell, is so difficult to ponder that it requires a lie down?ā€ Harry took a deep breath, very much considered lying, closed his eyes, and said, ā€œLove.ā€
Bite Me, Hate Memes by pir8fancier [44k]
Draco Malfoy is incensed to realize that someone is trying to usurp his position as the premier Harry Potter hater.
Contretemps by @moonflower-roseā€‹ [8k]
Draco Malfoy has been living like a model citizen. If only he could convince Potter.
Special Magic by lauren3210 [7k]
Harry was seriously considering the fact that his partner might be completely insane.
Storm in a Teacup by @faith2wood [7k]
For reasons heā€™d rather not think about, Draco is obsessed with Potterā€™s hair. This cannot end well.
Then Comes a Mist and a Weeping Rain by @faith2wood [21k]
It always rains for Draco Malfoy. Metaphorically. And literally. Ever since he had accidentally Conjured a cloud. A cloud thatā€™s ever so cross.
I hope you enjoy these stories as much as I did!
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cokezuko Ā· 4 months ago
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Why must this happen
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cokezuko Ā· 4 months ago
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the volunteers who run ao3 are stronger than the military
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cokezuko Ā· 9 months ago
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me: I donā€™t really have a typeā€¦
my lying ass:
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cokezuko Ā· 9 months ago
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The binder trope
So I like reading things that tend to have headcannoned trans characters, specifically Iā€™m referring to ftm, which great, usually theyā€™re really good fics.
But I have one complaint to the people writing these.
We head not a word of it, a mention that they are trans until the inevitable lines
ā€œI woke up with my ribs hurting, I shouldnā€™t fall asleep with my binder on.ā€
I swear to god the amount of fics that use that exact same scenario to be like ā€œbtw they trans surprise!ā€ Please find another way.
I canā€™t take it anymore, like teah donā€™t fall asleep wearing a binder, I just read FIVE FICS WHERE PETER PERKER FELL ASLEEP IN HIS BINDER! PETER DO A DIFFERENT SCHTICK! I love yall on all forms but find. A new. Trope. This oneā€™s done, ghosted, been there done that tell me about how instead he wants to get more guys clothes, or like, foreshadowing or just saying ā€œsince I came out as transā€ or something along those lines,
I know this is nitpicking and Iā€™m likely just cranky from work, but itā€™s been on my mind šŸ˜…
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cokezuko Ā· 9 months ago
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Bruce: Damian, don't you think that maybe you should make some friends outside of being Robin? Like some friends at school?
Damian: You want me to have friends? The very thing that killed Julius Caesar? I think not
[Dick, Jason, and Tim, all hysterically laughing]
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cokezuko Ā· 10 months ago
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cokezuko Ā· 1 year ago
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Harry Potter fic rec Time travel/dimension travel
Organised by word count. This rec list involved time travel and dimension travel, not really alt dimension/au. This will include multiple ships like Drarry, Tomarry, Jegulus and Wolfstar.
masterlist
Ouch you landed on my hand and somehow we are in the past - Gravepizza
Scorpius/Albus, wolfstar, Jily meeting the family | G | 1k
Fucking with the future - plecotusauritus
Wolfstar time turner used for inappropriate things, smut, Remus certified DILF | E | 1.6k
Changelings - TreacleTeacups
Tomarry time travel, kid fic, humour, established relationship, mamma bear harry | T | 1.7k
He Who Knows Too Much (and I, Who Knows Nothing) - coribbit
Tomarry time travel, fix-it, seer harry, obsessive tom | T | 1.9k
Everything and Nothing - XxTheDarkLordxX
Drarry post-hogwarts, time travel, hurt/comfort, angst | T | 4k
A Perfect Night for Trick or Treaters - PhantomGrimalkin
Wolfstar time-loop, first war, 1981, angst | T | 4k
Draco at Nineteen - birdsofshore
Drarry Time Travel, Age Difference, Hogwarts 8th Year, First Time | E | 5k
Our Little Life - tackytiger
Drarry post-hogwarts, time travel, dream sex, falling in love, past lives, idiots in love | M | 7k
The Soldier - woobyo
Wolfstar sirius fix-it, bamf sirius, harry is not a horcrux | M | 9k
Quick as a Flash of Lightning, Unhurried as Eternity - babooshk_art, onbeinganangel
Drarry Post-War, Time Travel, Auror Harry, Domestic Fluff | E | 10k
Fifteen - mysid
Wolfstar time travel fix-it, alternate realities, veil of death/opportunities | T | 11k
Brevem Conspectum - Lauren3210
Drarry Kid fic, Domestic, Fluff and Smut, Short Time Travel | E | 12k
Eudaimonia - duplicity
Tomarry time travel, child abuse, angst, age difference, happy ending, harry kinda helps raise tom | E | 15k
tempor Ā· al | ary - asterismal (asterisms)
Tomarry time travel, established relationship, voldy wins, threesome | E | 16k
Yuletide Discussions - J_L_Hynde
Tomarry time travel, discussion of wizard politics, tom lusting harry, alt reality, auror harry | M | 18k
Relativity. - Ideasofmarch
Tomarry time travel, fix-it, BAMF harry, morally grey harry, slytherin harry | M | 18k
Draco Malfoy and the Mirror of EcidyrueĀ 
Drarry PTSD, Time Travel, Slow Burn, Fluff and Angst, Character Study | M | 20k
Enoument - Accipitae
Tomarry master of death harry, harry grows up with tom in orphanage, time travel, homophobia, angst | M | 22k
We Shall Not Cease from Exploration - krabapple
Jily, Wolfstar golden trio time travel, Lily working for the order | T | 23k
The Devilā€™s White Knight - orphan_account
Drarry Time Travel, Alternate Timeline, Everybody Lives, No Voldermort | E | 24k
Just a Matter of Time - gracerene
Drarry Post-War, Time Travel, Unspeakable Draco, Age Difference, First Time | E | 24k
Draco Malfoy and the Letter from the Future - DracoWillHearAboutThis
Drarry time travel, POV draco, harry potter series retold, draco and harry friendship, draco questioning parents beliefsĀ | G | 33k
More Than You Know - moonscone
Wolfstar friends to lovers, oblivious sirius | G | 47k
If we could turn back time - MBlack93
Tomarry master of death harry, magically powerful, time travel, fix-it, sane tom, slytherin harry, bamf harry, knights of walpurgis | E | 54k
Time is of the Essence - Leaslemoon
Jegulus time travel, fix-it, angst with happy ending, slow burn, friends to lovers, sibling bonding, OOC snape, canon divergence | M | 58k
The Guest - BummedOutWriter
Drarry kid fic, time travel, get together, mrpeg, truth serum, 6th year, seer draco | M | 60k
Heir Apparent - MonsieurClavier
Tomarry time travel, sane voldy, voldy adopts harry, pseudo-incest, powerful harry, possessive behaviour, enemies to friends to lovers, humour | E | 61k
The Devil's White Knight - orphan_account
Drarry dimension travel, no voldy, time travel??, enemies to lovers, post-war trauma, everyone is gay | E | 65k
The Lesson of You - thecouchsofa
Drarry accidental chil acquisition, getting together, family feels, kid fic, fluff, time travel, smut | E | 65k
Everything Black - General_Jellyfish
Drarry Time Travel, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, BAMF Harry Potter | T | 66k
Game On, Your Move - Ailora
Tomarry time travel, crack treated seriously, obsessive tom, sassy harry, time loop, eventual happy ending, enemies to lovers | T | 75k
Tip of Your Tongue - Spork_in_the_Road
Tomarry time travel, fix-it, morally grey harry, dumbledore critical, slow burn, mystery | M | 78k
The White Pawn - Soupy_George
Drarry time travel, romance, adventure, disenchanted draco, relive sixth year | T | 81k
At the end of every road - sassysquatch
Tomarry time travel, obsessive harry and tom, mutual manipulation, enemies to lovers, fake relationship, class issues, politically motivated marriage | M | 84k WIP 1 last chapter
Into the Dark - PhantomGrimalkin
Wolfstar also drarry, time travel, established relationships, first war, slow burn drarry, suicidal thoughts, manipulative dumbledore, canon divergence | T | 89k
Into the Dark - PhantomGrimalkin
Drarry time travel, first war, slow burn, suicidal thoughts, hocrux hunting, established wolfstar | T | 89k
where are you (my lion)? - harrysblueshirt1
Drarry time travel, canon divergence, jily sent to future, fix-it, emotional hurt/comfort, good draco, professor harry | 99k
That'll Be The Day - Waterloo
Drarry time travel, friendship, hogwarts redo, slow burn, enemies to friends to lovers, pov alternating, wolfstar raise harry | M | 112k WIP
Far From The Tree - aideomai
Drarrys kids time travel to hogwarts, pre-relationship, down and out draco, dom draco | E | 112k
you belong to me (i belong to you) - Child_OTKW
Tomarry time travel, slytherin politics, mind games, auror harry, slytherin harry, master of death harry, PLS READ ALL TAGS | 112k
Turning Leaves - Kbrick
Drarry time travel, pining draco, slytherin harry, angst with happy ending, harry is bad at feelings, drunk sex, auror harry | E | 113k
good night, darling - purplemineralwater
Tomarry time travel, fix-it, master of death harry, slytherin harry, knights of walpurgis, possessive tom, sane tom, hurt/comfort, slow burn | E | 138k
Bewildered - SparrowGrim
Drarry dimension travel, canon divergence, a/b/o, magically powerful harry, top draco, happy ending | E | 148k
When you are ready to go on... but you go back - Sakura521
Drarry time travel, fix-it, harry heir of house black, slow burn, good malfoy family | M | 166k WIP, 1 more chapter
Always Already - aibidil
Drarry time travel, post-hogwarts, department of mysteries, drarry go back to marauders era | E | 171k
Praeclarus Anguis - KaedeRavensdale
Tomarry time travel, slytherin harry, possessive behaviour, tom has met his match | M | 172k
Diablerie - Oceanbreeze7
Tomarry bamf tom, sane tom, time travel, ptsd, book 5, mental health issues, canon divergence | T | 176k
47 Days to Change (a translation) - snow_owl01
Tomarry time travel, slow burn, dubious consent, alt universe | E | 200k
What He Grows To Be - Severus_divides_into_H
Tomarry unhealthy relationships, obsessive and possessive tom, master of death harry, time travel, tom raised by harry, self-harm, psychological torture | M | 266k
What Souls Are Made Of - Emeralds_and_Lilies
Tomarry golden trio accidently time travel, angst, mind games, unhealthy relationships, slow burn | E | 278k
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