coffeeskater

[coffeeskater]

I read an AITA post a few weeks back about a woman who liked having snacks in the bath when she's had a long day (a result of residual trauma iirc - the bath was her safe space). Her brand new husband of three weeks, a man twice her age who had no job, made her pay all of his bills and do all housework, and spent all day every day gaming because he wanted to make it as a Twitch streamer, had always been fine with this; but, on the day in question, had whisked her bath snacks out of her hands as she was on her way to the bathroom and tried to bin them, telling her it was time to 'break her of that filthy habit in his home'. She told him if he ever actually paid anything towards the house she owns outright he might get a say, took her snacks back, and had her lovely bath. He was since giving her the silent treatment.

(Obviously the judgement was an avalanche of 'NTA and also he's abusing you', which she agreed with, and decided to kick him out, so happy ending.)

Anyway I told my husband about this and he was outraged. "I would never do that!" he told me, furious. "I would find it adorable if you had bath snacks!"

Since then, every time I try to have a bath (which I only do as a rare treat) after about ten minutes there has been an anxious scrabbling at the bathroom door.

"Elanor!" he says. "Do you have bath snacks? Do you need anything?"

My answer is irrelevant. He brings me wine and poptarts. Now I have bath snacks. I'm a bath snacks person. Last time he was literally sleeping on the sofa when I went for the bath. Somehow this still happened. I now have an eager bathroom butler. How did this happen. I have never been so decadent yet bewildered.

[coffeeskater]

Source: laura_and_her_cats

[coffeeskater]

help

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Just testing a thing

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🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈

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i know this is themed after the taylor swift but there is something so deeply funny about getting a cutesy wootsy beaded bracelet at claires that says "tortured". who else is being tortured in this claires⁉️ if you're being tortured in claires make some noise ‼️💯

[coffeeskater]

[coffeeskater]

my grandpa was a good man. and it really wasnt his fault - recreationally lying to kids is a proud family tradition - but he told me, once, that cutting a worm in half resulted in two worms.

i think he said it so i'd be more morally okay with fishing? i actually dont remember the context.

point was, he told me this, and he understimated (by a very large margin) how much i liked worms. i was a worm boy. very wormy. and after hearing that, i went home, and i dug through the garden, flipped over every rock, did everything i could to gather as many worms as i could, and then i uh.

i cut them all in half. every worm i could find. all of them. with scissors.

i then took this pile of split worms, and i put them in a box with a bit of lettuce and some water and stuff and went to bed expecting to double my worms overnight. i have math autism, so i had a vague understanding that if i did this just a few times in a row, i would eventually have a completely unreasonable amount of worms.

i was very excited to become this plane's worm emperor.

(i think i was...six?)

anyway, i did not become the inheritor of the worm crown. i instead woke up to a box of dead worms and cried. a lot. i got diagnosed with panic attacks as a teenager, but i think i had them as a kid, i just had no idea what they were. i was kind of processing that a.) i had killed what i had assumed was every single worm in my yard, and thus would have no more worms, and b). i was going to like, worm hell.

(six year babylon spent a lot of time worrying about god.)

so i kind of freaked out, and i climbed a tree, because god can only smite you if you're touching the ground (?) and i sat up there mostly inconsolable until my mom came out and asked, hey, what's up? what happened?

so i explained to her that i had killed all of the worms, forever, and was also Damned, and she took me to the compost pile, and we dug for all of five seconds and found like twenty more worms.

the compost pile was full of worms.

and she told me that a). there were more worms, and we could put them back under rocks and stuff and recolonize our yard and b). that one day, i would die, and i would go to heaven, and i would be able to talk to the worms, and i would be able to tell them all that i was very sorry, and that i killed them on accident out of excessive Love, and that they would forgive me, because worms have six hearts and no malice.

at that point, i think i was sixty percent tear-snot by weight, and i had no choice but to gather enough worms that i could hug them. which my mom helped with. and then after that she helped me put some worms back under each rock.

and for my epilogue: i spent a significant portion of my childhood in trees. and for many years after, even when my mom didnt know i was watching, i would catch her giving the space under the rocks a light spritz with the hose. not because she loved worms.

but because she loved me.

[coffeeskater]

"You Missed the Point by Idolizing Them" Starter Pack

[coffeeskater]

Now

SAM

Don't you be

COMIN

ROUND

HERE

Not havin

no

PROMPTS

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twitter implemented a new image ai and people are using it to generate lifelike photos of elon musk acting like a dog

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carmilla content in 2024?? More likely than you think

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i learned what you can do with waymarks in ffxiv

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Happy 10 years to @carmillaseries! Some things never change (but my energy levels sure do… how did I keep up with fandom back then??). Just a quick color sketch of my favorite vampire and salty gay. <3

[coffeeskater]

Thinking about Kent from Stardew Valley, I've often wondered why basically all he talks about to you is about his trauma. Like that's fine I guess but I've casually wondered why it's pretty much the only thing he ever talks about to you.

But it just occurred to me that Sam, Vincent, and Jodi note that he doesn't tell them what's wrong. It's surprising to Jodi that he hates the sound of popcorn, Vincent and Sam both note that he's different but they don't know why, he goes to festivals even though crowds and open fields trigger him.

He's trying very badly to hide it but he needs to talk about it. And the farmer has no preexisting ideas about him. Depending on how long he's been gone this time, you may be the only person in town that didn't know him before he went to the front lines. He's trauma dumping to you and only you because he has no idea to live up to in your mind. You're a blank slate. A new relationship. He doesn't have to pretend to be strong around you. He can just be miserable in your presence and you let him and give him roasted hazelnuts sometimes and roasted hazelnuts remind him of his mom and that's basically what your relationship boils down to. You're the person that will stand next to the river with him and go "Damn dude that sucks do you want an egg"

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calvin and hobbes