codyelliotrebloggingcreatures

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Harold M. Lambert

Three Deers Laying Down In Snowy Forest In Winter, 1940

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😾

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Calico

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Am I a snomwan?

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The Jolly Jester

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Okay so I should probably start uploading my oil paintings here.

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mcapriglioneart

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the only context you need for this story is that i am currently not strong enough to lift my cat's body, and that my cat is a creative but spiteful devil. i love her dearly.

I'm sleeping on a recliner until I get my drains out, which has profoundly confused Ducky. it's been 2 days and she only now felt comfortable enough to choose to hop up onto the chair and try and cuddle. and for a moment, all was well. she was nuzzling me and purring like a motor. but, to both of our great dismay, she then realized i had mysterious tubes on her favorite cuddle spot (right in the middle of my chest.)

so, in regular ducky fashion, she started biting. to which i gently but firmly moved her head and tucked my drains under my button up. but ducky would not have it. she knew there were tubes under there. and by god, she was going to bite them.

but she did not account for the fact that i knew she wanted them.

so she would lay on me, purr as i pet her, and slooooooowly move closer and closer and closer and closer to a tube, and - whoops! looks like my hand is in the way. how did that happen?

so she'd try again, but going for the other side. she'd be all cuddly and happy, but clearly thinking about her ulterior motives. and then all of a sudden, right when the tube is within reach again, there's my hand.

ducky knew i had outsmarted her. she growled at my hand, and then slapped my hand with her paw. (claws were not out.) she stood up and sauntered onto the table next to me, all indignant-like. and then slooooooowly turned around to try and bite the drain again.

but, woe! i also expected this.

and when her mouth met my hand for the umpteenth time, she was pissed. she "bit" me (it didn't even leave a scratch) and slapped me (again, claws not out) and hissed as loud as she could. i did not move my hand.

she let out a little squeak of annoyance, and started walking down my legs to hop off the recliner. right before she left, she turned her head and hissed. fuck me for hiding my bloody tubes, i guess.

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Havanese!

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Being a henchman suuuucks dude. This latest guy I'm working for, the War-Madillo, he's got a, an Armadillo- motif, or theme, or whatever, right? That's fine, fine, I did a two-month stint with a Marmoset-themed guy once, it's not bottom of the barrel- except. Except. It turns out, he picked the Armadillo thing because he thinks that they're obligate carnivores. Which they kind of are, I mean I googled this, they're insectivores, but he thinks that they're like, land piranhas. He thinks they work in packs to take down significantly larger animals. He thinks they lay eggs in the remains of their prey. He's killed like three guys for trying to correct him. Me and the other guys are paying out of pocket to get the poor little guys in his Armadillo pit food that they can actually eat. Every time he drops some sucker into that thing we all have to draw straws to see who's gonna have to go in and gnaw on the body so he thinks the Armadillos are doing it. Thank god it's such a long drop

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'Til I can hear it crack

There's this urban legend that if you have to pass a den of badgers, you should fill your boots with onions, because when a badger bites you it will hold on until it can hear your bones crack.

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thought it was a one-off thing, but i've now seen multiple pictures and videos of red-bellied woodpeckers touching other birds with their tongue at bird feeders. why are they suck little freaks?

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Beautiful blues

Wednesday, December 18th 2024 8:12 to 8:13 a.m.