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[cody-writes]

Where do I go when I’m already on my knees?

- summary ; Ford has been traveling from universe to universe, pocket detention to pocket detention. But when he comes across one where Fiddleford had settled down with an alternate version of himself and it seems that nothing happened how he remembered it. he does his best to push his way into this Fiddlefords life, which has been devastated with death and abandonment by the very man in the mirror. despite the differences in universes ford can’t escape the wake that he leaves behind wherever he goes. (It’s shitty I know)

- word count ; 4377

- warnings for light depiction of graphic violence

Chapter one ; blood in the snow

Stanford pines. scientist of the paranormal, top of his class, six fingered freak. Sure he knew that he’d be dealing with some strange happenings in his lifetime but this? This was by far the worst thing that he couldn’t ever imagine.

Hopping from place to place, wondering if it’ll be safe to close his eyes and rest, fearful of what hid on the back of his eyelids.

He was tired. But he needed to keep running. Bill was getting closer and closer and the longer he kept running, the longer he had to figuring out a way home. But for now he found pocket dimension that he quickly had slipped into after one of Bills henchdemons had gotten a little too close for comfort.

When he arrived he was immediately off put when everything was silent except for the sound of very distant — and almost unnoticeable to the untrained ear —gunshots. His breath caught in his throat and he quickly began to look for a place to hide from, one: whatever was out there. And two: whatever or whoever was coming for him.

A cave presented itself to him after an hour or so of carefully placing his feet in the snow covered woods. He prayed that no one would follow his footsteps and ran himself in circles trying to make sure that it looked as if there was no one place that he could possibly be. Finally he circled back to the cave, stepping into prints that he had already laid.

Ford sighed as he finally settled against the wall of this cave, his pack leaned against his side with an arm wrapped around it. “Fuck…” he whispered, pulling the bag open to grab his first aid kit out along with a flashlight. He pulled his pant leg up, and stuck the light in his mouth, angling it at the blood soaked bandages. He gritted his teeth against the metal of the flashlight as he started pulling them off.

The wound was anything but fresh, but it wasn’t healing right and looked infected. It was too close. He thought as he cleaned away the blood. Too fucking close, again. He gritted his teeth and poured a bit of alcohol onto a cloth, dabbing it around the claw marks in his leg just as he’d done with every other cut and scar that etched into his body.

He cleaned and dressed the wound before carefully putting everything away and placing them back into his bag.

He leaned his head back against the cold stone, finding a grove that almost perfectly fit his skull. The silence was loud but he could no longer hear the gunfire which brought a bit of comfort and a lot of anxiety. What if they found his food prints and were tracking him here now? He was useless, getting old and god he was tired. A fight now would be over in seconds and his body would be found in this cave.

As time passed he grew cold, but not as cold as he’d expected to be, not cold enough that a fire would have been necessary. He pulled his knees up and tightened his coat around himself before unrolling the blanket off his pack and draping it over his knees.

His eyelids drooped but he shook himself awake every time the darkness felt comforting. He couldn’t sleep, with Bill lurking around every corner, every time he slept was an open gateway to where he was. Hours of this was exhausting but it would be worth the safety in the end.

Finally a bit of light seeped into the cave and Fords skin crawled with a sinking feeling of dread. He pushed himself from the floor, rolled and attached the blanket to his pack before slinging the bag over his shoulder, and leaving the cave, knowing that he didn’t want to find out what the feeling was warning him of.

There were too many times that he let these feelings bring out his curiosity over the years and every time that he did he’d collected more scars and memories that burned into him and weighed on his soul.

As he pushed his way through the melting snow he tried to make a game plan. There was no one and nothing in sight. The air hung heavy and thick it burned at his eyes, everything felt off and the feeling of dread continued to fall heavy on his shoulders.

Eventually the scientist found a town…

——————

Months passed and Ford found himself in the middle of a battle, gun in hand, teeth ground into each other, praying that the boy beside him would live long enough to get home for dinner.

He popped up from behind the barricade, aiming and firing shots toward the strange creatures that approached.

In what he thought was an abandoned town, he’d been quick to find out that it was not quite abandoned. the people inside were just terrified of what lay beyond the tree line and across the banks.

It became pretty clear to him rather quickly that this was some sort of post apocalyptic world, fighting against strange monsters, demons and occasionally other people that threatened to overtake them. The group that he found himself with had been through it all, death, pain and destruction alike, if you could think it, these people were aware of what it was and were vigilant.

The creatures appeared in large numbers and had been closing in, slowly picking off their numbers. Ford offered his help, only requesting information and possibly help with getting out of this hell scape. He didn’t know what he would be signing up for at the time, but god damn he regretted agreeing now.

Their forces picked off the monsters one by one until blood splattered in the snow and bodies remained unmoving.

Ford flipped the safety on his gun and pushed up from behind the barricade before holding his hand out to the boy next to him who gladly took it. Ford pulled him to his feet, strapping his gun to his back before looking out over the sea of death, both his men and the enemy. He sighed softly and offered a sad smile to the kid who looked at the scene. “Let’s get what we can.” He said simply before turning to salvage anything they could.

Stanford knew not to get attached to any of the people and creatures that he came across, he’d always end up leaving and in this instance, they knew that he was going to be leaving too. It was hard though, meeting these people making connections only for a ghost of his past to close in on him once more, forcing him to leave the comfort that he was really running after.

The boy, Joseph, nodded and walked at his side as they approached the beasts. The other men had begun counting their dead and dragging the injured back toward the infirmary. Normally the creatures had simple things on them, sometimes armor and maybe a weapon (if they could use one), but the meat on their bones was what was the most valuable to the group. If they found a certain type of creature they could be eating 3 meals a day for at least 5 days for their rather large numbers. Unfortunately for them, demons seemed to be the majority of what made this group up.

Ford sighed and knelt down next to one of the demons, picking a dagger off its belt and a rigged gun from its hand. “I don think we’re gonna get much from ‘em” Joseph said walking back over to Ford from one of the other bodies.

“That’s quite alright.” He replied softly and simply, pocketing the weapons he was able to collect before looking to the boy. “We have enough for now I believe anyway, we just need to keep safe.”

The pair made their way back to the edge of town, “I will check on things in medical, you should go let them know how things worked out.” Ford nodded to Joseph who took off into town.

Stanford pushed his way into the medical building. It was less of a building and more of a tent with falling bricks as walls, but it did the job. He glanced around looking between the men on the makes in beds then to those still standing.

“How are they?” He asked after a moment of silence. He could see that one or the men was in worse shape than the other. His leg looked terrible and he had a gash across his chest, nothing fatal but painful nonetheless.

“Fine. They’ll be fine.” Troy, an older man who ran operations and cared too deeply spoke up, crossing his arms and puffing himself out a bit. Ford knew that he didn’t like him very much, he seemed intimidated by the scientist, something that puzzled Ford to his core. “Where’s Joseph?” His voice was gruff and he didn’t look at Ford when he spoke, only moving his eyes.

“Checking in with the other men, I didn’t want him subjected to any more suffering than he already is.”

“Good..” Troy looked to him finally before continuing. “Marley’s looking for ya. Said it might help you get out of ‘ere”

Ford perked up for a moment before remembering that he couldn’t get his hopes too high. It seemed near impossible to get out of here, every lead that they had, wasn’t an actual lead or almost got him killed. “Alright…I uh…I’ll go find them.” He nodded and looked to the injured men once more before quietly exiting the hut.

He made his way across the compound, looking up as the sun rose into the yellow tinted sky. He kept his head low and tried not to pry into the conversation going on as he passed through the center of town. Morning was always the busiest and full of people. even if there was an attack was happening, those who lived here didn’t seem to be bothered. Their community thrived in the sun and early morning interactions.

He gave a slight smile and a small wave here and there until he came up on one of the houses that hadn’t been touched by any destruction. He gave a light knock before reaching for the doorknob, poking his head in before fully entering.

Marley was the one person that he felt he could relate to around this place. They had an eye for the strange and unusual and wanted to know why these creatures were attacking and where they came from more than being focused on killing them off.

“Stanford!” Marley yelled from the back corner of the room, their Irish accent thick with excitement. “Just who I wan’ed to see! Come, come. I have a lot to tell you.”

Ford chuckled lightly and latched the door closed before walking toward them. “Troy said that you may have found something?“

“Yes! An abnormality as you say.” They wrapped an arm around the author’s shoulders, pulling him toward their work station and into a chair. He straightened his glasses and looked up at the enthusiastic scientist. “It’s not far from here and seems to be muuuch much stronger tan the las one, I’ll come with you when you go. I want to study it and get your knowledge on these things before you leave.”

Ford pulled his chair closer as Marley leaned over the desk, their computer glitching and blinking as it showed the coordinates. He rubbed his chin as he looked, his brows furrowing “and you’re sure that this could be a rift as I’ve been describing?”

“I tink so, yes.” They said, opening their notebook up, pointing out some Irish gibberish that Ford could just barely make out. “From everythin that you’ve described it matches almost perfectly, tough the area seems to be more corrupted tan I would have tought. Even from my maps, it looks…off.”

Ford looked up at the monitor once more as Marley zoomed out of the exact point. They were right, the area was large and charted with what he could even recognize as oddities. His mind immediately went to Bill…but if he had found him, Ford would have known by now with how close it was.

“You’re most definitely right…that is very strange.” He thought for a second, “it could possibly be a source of, quote weirdness, similar to what I was studying back at home. The two look very similar. Of course here, weirdness or abnormalities are quite common with your beast issue, but not to this degree, I wonder if in different parts of the multiverse, they also have points of weirdness.” He shook his head and looked back to Marley, finally off of his tangent. “I would love to explore this with you, it could help me understand more about the multiverse and would help you to understand where these creatures could potentially be coming from if my thoughts are in fact correct.”

Marley had a blank look on their face for a moment, seeming to process all of the words being thrown at them. “We have to prepare ten!” They exclaimed plopping down into the chair next to him, their fiery hair bouncing with the motion. “La’er of course. It’s been a few days, let’s catch up.”

——————

Anxiety ate its way up Ford’s throat as he packed his things away into his bag. He didn’t have much, not anything more than what he showed up with, minus a few more notebooks and a few things to keep the memories of Marley and Joseph alive. But what lied ahead was more anxiety inducing than being crushed by a monster that he couldn’t even stick around long enough to study.

If he stuck around any longer, Bill would find the rift and wreak havoc upon this universe just as he had done before. He couldn’t subject these people to that, especially not after they had finally been doing so well and had built this beautiful corner of their world up.

He sighed and pulled his gloves and coat on, pulling his face covering up and slinging his bag over his shoulder. He holstered one of the guns he’d come across on a mission with Troy and headed toward the door, where he knew Marley would be waiting for him, practically jumping with excitement.

He smiled as he saw them, their hands wrapped around their backpack straps with their goggles and a scarf covering their mouth and nose, eager to get going. “You take forever.” They said a bit flatly, as they turned in the direction that they needed to be going. “Wat were you even doin? I know you don’t have that many tings.”

“Marley, I was in there for maybe ten minutes, what on earth do you mean?” He chuckled “I know that you’re excited but you need to relax a little, kid.”

“Tat’s 5 minutes too long wit the tings you have.” They huffed, looking up at the sky. “Might rain.”

Ford looked up as well. The clouds were rolling in and the air hung thicker than normal. “Right…we’ll be quick then. I don’t want to be out in the elements for too long, and I won’t be with you when you come back. Speaking of, you have a weapon, correct?”

“Yep,” they smiled and patted their coat, “trusty ol ting I got from my paps, use ‘er till the day she shits out on me.”

“Alright.” Ford nodded as they pressed on, glancing at the sky every other minute. He felt as if he was in a time bubble, moving so slowly that he needed to try and move faster in order to keep up with the world around him. He clasped his hands together and pressed his eyes closed for a moment in an attempt to ground himself as they neared their destination.

“Are you okay tere big guy?” Marley eventually spoke up, their head tilted up at him with a bit of concern.

Ford shook his head and adjusted his glasses. “Yes…I’m fine. Just anxious. I don’t know where I will end up once I make this jump. I never do, but it never gets any less painful, leaving a place that I get established in after meeting new people.” He let out a breath. “People like you…it’s just never…a good experience.”

“You never did explain why you can’t just stay. I mean, I know you got people at home…but wouldn’t it just be easier to find a place an just, stay?” Their eyes were invisible behind their goggles and their face covered from showing emotion but Ford could almost see their face and feel everything radiating off of them so strongly.

He couldn’t stay…he couldn’t put any of them in that kind of danger, not in good conscience. He had to keep moving, he couldn’t stay, he needed to get home and eventually stop Bill.

“A bit more truthfully…I’m running from an old friend, well, I thought we were friends…maybe even something more at one time. Anyway.. he’s how I got stuck in the multiverse in the first place. I thought him a muse and he offered plans of a better tomorrow and a opportunity to explore the strange and unusual.” Ford sighed and looked down at his six fingered hand, thinking of his weirdness and wondering if this would have happened in the first place without his defect.

“I thought he was truthful in what he said and wanted to continue with my research and, blinded by my own hunger for knowledge I believed him. but really he only wanted power. The portal I built so he could cross into our world was activated and I…fell in for lack of a better term. Even if I wanted to go back home I’m unsure of how to get there and anywhere that I stay, Bill winds up finding me and I can’t let anything happen to you or your family and friends..”

Marley stopped walking for a moment, blankly staring up at him before they rested a soft hand on his shoulder. “I hope you find your way home and I hope that you can come back here someday. You’re a good man Ford.”

However this child could read him so well would remain a mystery to the scientist. They had this beautiful intuition and this time it was picking up on his guilt for what had happened. How he left things with Fiddleford and Stanley, they ate away at his very existence and he only wished to be able to tell them how sorry he was for what he did. How countless other people have been affected by the destruction that is Stanford Pines.

“Thanks kid.” He said ruffling their hair, “let’s keep going.”

They reached the tree line, right on the edge of where the abnormal readings were rather quickly. The clouds rolled in a bit faster now but they still had a bit before anything would start to fall.

Cautiously Ford pressed on into the trees, looking up and around, in front and behind, anywhere for any signs of danger or weirdness, just as he would have done at home. When he didn’t see anything he would move further in, silently shifting through the snow, his eyes darting as the trees grew a bit thicker.

“I’m not seeing anything at the moment, I’m sure that the rift could be here somewhere, but it seems that the cause of the area being so lit up, isn’t within sight.” He hummed, his hand resting on his chin out of habit. “I think we should locate the rift and see what might be around it.”

“Alrighty, whatever you tink is best.” Marley responded, staying at Fords side, carefully watching up at the scientist as he worked.

Ford pressed on deeper, knowing that he was close to what he hoped would be the rift at the center of the reading. A large shift in reality caused him to take a step back, his eyes darting around at the change in color and sound of the forest. The once silent and peaceful moment turned to sound of rapid ticking and footsteps trickled in from every direction. “Oh my…” he said softly, his arms instinctively flaring out, gently pushing Marley back behind him a little.

“I haven’t seen anything like this since…” he trailed off as the color of the sun seemed to shift and the clouds rolled in faster. “Bill….” He finally finished, half expecting that bastards sadistic laugh to follow his words. When no sound came he finally let his guard down, glancing back at Marley. They stood in silence, seemingly wide eyed and frozen.

“Marley?” He said gently, moving himself into their line of sight.

“What the fuck…” they whispered, moving their goggles onto the top of their head. “Tis is…amazing..what the fuck.”

Ford let out a breath and chuckled at that, “it seems like some sort of bubble, and it might be the reason that the reading was so strong. Come along. Let’s find the rift, we can backtrack once we have a clear path and understanding of this place.”

It didn’t take long at all for the two to find the rift. It was large, larger than Ford had seen after the portal. His heart skipped at the thought that Bill could be waiting on the other side, about to invade another world he’d found himself on.

Marley stepped toward it, their hand outstretched “it’s so perrty..” they said softly. Ford reacted instinctively, eyes wide as he grabbed them by the collar and pulled them back.

He quickly dropped their clothing, clearing this throat. “Ah…don’t… get too close.” He mumbled, taking a deep breath as I’m images of his old partner almost being lost to the same fate that he hade been destined to live flashes through his mind.

Marley simply nodded and smiled, taking a few steps back to admire the sights, their back turned to him. Ford smiled back, fondly. He was so excited and happy that someone shared this fascination, someone that he could relate to and finally tell about his experiences and pass that knowledge on too—

“FUCK!” Marley’s voice echoed in his ears as a large hand swiped from above, launching Marley across the snow. Blood. He could see it stain and cover the ground.

He pulled his gun from its holster, quick to aim it as his vision zoomed in and out. He shot rapidly, barely looking until the ground seemed to shake and something seemed to be running. He didn’t know where it was going or if it was coming at him but he knew he needed to keep shooting.

Ford peeled his eyes open only to be met with a piercing scream and a significantly smaller claw swipe down at his hands. He pulled back, claws tearing through his arm. He yelled and stumbled back, aiming and firing again, hitting their creature until it began to run and he was low on ammo.

With his breath racing and blood dripping down his arm he ran toward Marley, “Marley!” He shouted, sliding to his knees and skidding across the snow to get to them.

“Ford….ford I can’t feel my legs..” they said, their voice breaking softly, “everything hurts so much but I can’t feel my legs.” They cried, reaching out to the author.

Ford looked them over, they’d already lost a lot of blood and their eyes hooded as if struggling to not close. “It’s…it’s going to be okay just…breathe Marley, just breathe and hold on to my hand.” He clasped their hands together and leaned down his he could cradle their head. His voice broke and tears formed in his eyes. “Just hold on Marley.”

Marley looked up at him and squeezed his hand, “I can’t…it hurts so bad…I’m so tired and it hurts.” They muttered, their words slurring together.

“I know. I’m so sorry. Oh god I’m so sorry.” He held their hand to his chest, bringing his forehead to touch theirs, his body hunching over them into a half hug. “It’s okay. It’s going to be okay.” He didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t get them out of here without possibly making their injuries worse or collapsing half way there due to his own injury. He knew he wasn’t strong enough either and with the storm? There was no way.

“Don’t leave me…please don’t leave me here.” They whispered as Ford sat back up. “I don’t want to die alone.”

They knew. They always did, they knew they were going for die and all they wanted was to not do it alone. Tears rolled down his cheeks as Marley’s sobs wrote their way into Fords memories. “I’m not going to leave you, I promise Marley.” He whispered.

Silence fell under the sounds of crying between the two and screaming off in the distance. but there was comfort in it as well, peace perhaps in the fact that death was coming and the earth would accept a new offering to the soil and heaven would find a new soul to offer a home.

After what seemed like hours, Ford could no longer feel the young one’s breath and their body went limp and only when that happened did he pull them close and hold them tight. He sat like that for a few minutes, holding their lifeless body waiting until it felt right to let them go.

Gently he laid them down and let go of their hand. He didn’t know what else to do besides close their eyes, gently remove their goggles and cover them with the snow. He knew it wasn’t proper but it was what felt right. He stood and looked over the gory mess that set out in the snow before looking to the portal. “I hope you come back here someday.” The words rang in his empty mind as he stepped toward it, Marley’s goggles strapped firmly to his head as he started his new adventure with another piece of what he’d lost strapped over his heart.